Today leaving the classroom of the last class,
I needed a hug, the closest thing I had was a cigarette inside my handbag,
My mates were talking about the project we are going to do, and one of my closest friends realized that I needed to be alone and not to talk about an stressful task, he took me to the smoking area and then lighted my cigarette up, I looked at him and he was looking at me, I knew he was going to hug me and I couldn’t contain anymore, so I opened my arms to receive him, a hug… it was all that I needed, there were not much tears, I wanted him to know and feel that I’m strong but only I know how much I would like to have cried, the cigarette was being consumed but… not by my lips, it was due to the long hug, I felt how cigarette became lighter as the ashes were falling. I needed no words to explain how I was feeling in that moment, he is a good friend, he listened to me although there was nothing to say because my eyes were speaking for all the day, I dare to say that even teachers knew that I was outside my mind, the longest and saddest hug I have ever had, it was useful, I needed it, I needed to let the sadness go, but I still want you, how do I can do to forget the promises, to not to stare at the sky and break in cry, to not to miss you, to not to… I just… I guess it is a matter of time, you know, just to forget the trust no one feeling, you know what? I am so inconsolable at nights, oh honey, I wish you would have been true with me, I don’t deserve this, I love you so much that I can’t understand all of this, I’m with the hope of you coming back to me, but deeply I know… you aren’t anymore, god, I wish you weren’t that selfish, but you know I love you.