#dragonisms

[wayfaringmd]

ICD 10: T14.8, S36.61: Air blast to rectum 

vs. 

J45: asthma. 

[cranquis]

End Turd the Dragon III: C’est chis

What my colleague dictated in the visit note: “Consulted Dr. Smith about the case and he is recommending evaluation at the ER.”

What Dragon (the voice-recognition software) heard: “Consulted Dr. Smith about the quesadillas recommending evaluation at the ER.”

[thelastvoidwalker]

List of dragons so far (and other creatures that I have given to people as well)

@eddiethereptilefaunus: Fire dragon @kleinisms: Klein, nightfury. Asuna, wind dragon. Lisbeth, X'rphan the white Wyrm. Leafa, Black dragon @willowschneeisms: flower Dragon @sun-isms: Ancient Earth Drake @torchwick-isms: treasure dragon @goodwitch-isms: Bahamut (a deity dragon) @emerald-isms: candy dragon @cocoadel-isms: eastern dragon @reesechlorisms: Lightning dragon @junior-isms: frostfire dragon @malachite-isms: sun dragon Inti and moon dragon Quilla @ask-oscar-and-femoz: Ghidorah @imperium-isms skeletal dragon with flames @winter-isms: ice Wyvern @jaunearc-isms: Grimm dragon @yang-isms: didn't want one @ask-general-ironwood: could not afford one at the time @qrowbranwen-isms: luck dragon @pyrrhaisms: darkness metal dragon @rubyroseisms: black rose dragon @cinder-fall-isms: red dragon Archfiend @firebluevixen: instead of dragons, she wanted foxes. 2 nine tailed foxes @tyrian-callows-isms: didn't want one @professorozpin-isms: mechanical Akatosh @klein-isms: a dragon maid @blakebelladonna-isms: Aztec dragon

[cranquis]

End Turd the Dragon II - The Dragonism Returns

What the radiologist meant to dictate in the xray report: “Findings are consistent with post-traumatic osteoarthritis of the knee.”

What Dragon (the voice-recognition software) heard: “Findings are consistent with posterior metastatic gastroenteritis of the knee.”

[s-n-arly]

Dragonisms

Here are some of my favorite Dragonisms (errors in voice recognition); the intended text is first, with the misrecognition below.

That’s not quite what I said. he sat an appropriate distance from her he sat inappropriate distance from her.

Despite his best efforts, he still lacked patience Despite his best efforts, he still whacked patients

Some students had already started wearing theirs. Some students had already started wearing bears.

Do you need anything else, dear? Do you need anything else, beer?

Many conjurer prep schools Many conjurer crap schools

as Lory was cowering in fear as Lory was scouring in fear

Laura looked up from her chocolate ice cream Laura looked up from her chocolate ice frame Laura looked up from her chocolate ice scream

Leya gave her sister a small bow. Leya gave her sister a small bowel.

A couple of the men appeared singed, but that was all. A couple of the men appeared sandwiched, but that was all.

You’re not immortal yet. You’re not immoral yet.

The moment was rehearsed and fluid The moment was rehearsed in fluid

“I am instructor of botanicals…” “I am instructor of the tentacles…”

Wolves prefer meat if they can get it. Wolves prefer meat if they can edit.

“No problem,” Georg said. “No problem,” Aaaargh said.

She didn’t need anybody else. She didn’t need anybody Yeltsin.

in the pavilion of inner harmony in the pavilion of dinner harmony

After they’d eaten their chicken… After they’d beaten their chicken…

She’d never lied to him before She’d never liked him before

Hubba wha? and who was it this time and who was Netanyahu this time

hullabaloo hello balloon

and tucked it in a pocket and cockpit in a pocket

skin of a snake scandalous make

to my great aunt to migrate on

How are you How eeew

The whiskers on his muzzle tickled The whiskers on his muffled pickles

and just as she was beginning to worry and justice she was beginning to worry

There was a terrible crash followed by her mother wailing The result a terrible crash followed by her mother whaling

His eyes were beseeching His eyes were beast teaching

I missed the vibrance I missed the fibroids

run over by a steam roller run over by esteem roller

she used other people as obstacles she used other people inside staples

Not everyone should have to be strong or brave Not everyone should have to be strong corporate

I have every reason to believe you have discalcula I have every reason to believe you have discount Sheila

distinctive whorls in his eyes distinctive oral synthesize

Headless mannequins displayed… Had less manic hands displayed…

Now that’s just plain wrong wrong. Only the most highly trained cons even tried… Only the most highly trained condoms even tried…

We monitor untrained cons We monitor untrained condoms We monitor untrained cotton

Laura found herself wishing for a stick of gum. Laura found herself wishing for a stick of come.

Jennan sat on a bench. Genitals sat on a bench.

She held her breath for a moment She held her breast for a moment

You’re not so grown up that I can’t. You’re not so grown-up dike hand

Ticklish, are you? Dick wished, are you?

I have had adult dark fiction and fantasy published… I have had adult conviction and fantasy published…

He was too egotistical to be a good lover He was to eat a testicle to be a good lover

“So tell me,” the young man said. “So tell me,” the unmanned said.

He took her hand in both of his as they recited their vows He took her hand in both of his as they recited their violence

He believed her and wanted to comfort her. He believed her and wanted to come for her.

[cranquis]

End Turd the Dragon: When Voice Recognition Software Goes Wrong

What the primary doctor meant to dictate in the patient's chart: "Nose-finger test is normal."

What Dragon heard: "No sphincter test is normal."