#druglock

[consult-sherlockholmes]

Sherlock if a doppelganger of you appeared at your doorstep what would you do

I would check what the hell I just smoked or snorted.

[ioweu-sherlock]

just to get high

i know nickelback is like cringe but they have a few songs i cannot help but think abt bbc sherlock&john anyways here’s one of them

All i imagine is angsty and angry john finally getting fed up with sherlock and cutting him off

[emeraldurafreak]

Implied Johnlock fic/ 1200.

Druglock, hospitalization, series 4 fix, inconclusive ending.

Sherlock stopped and glanced up to him, his eyes glistened in the sunlight briefly. The gold flecks highlighted for a moment before slowly dimming again before he turned away.

“Is it surprising?” He asked his voice somewhat hoarse with misuse and his hand dragging across the mantle pierced the silence, dust particles flowing around him.

There was no reply as the dust curled around his frame in an ethereal light accented his hollow cheeks and sunken eyes. He was still Sherlock as he always would be but he was changed, lost and unstable without his rock. His steady figure to guide him back home.

There was no one to hide the cigarettes or clean out the needles from his bedroom, no one to care what he put in his body or neglected to put in. It had been some time since he had a proper meal, Mrs Hudson tried as hard as she could but he was changed, frightening in a way.

Unstable was the only word that really fit.

Sherlock looked over his shoulder briefly and turned back away, he brushed his fingers along the spines of books on the shelves. Disrupting more dust and covering himself in it like a disguise, he looked to be in a disguise. Unshaven and ill kept.

“It shouldn’t be. Look at me.” He made a show of gesturing to himself, the clothes hanging off his thin shoulders. Shaky hands and unsteady heavy steps. “As if you don’t know..”

He drifted towards the kitchen now, most of which was filled with various science equipment to make harsher chemicals to put inside him. His hands continued to wander along different surfaces he passed, disturbing various items.

He muttered to himself in a constant stream, a sort of nervous tic pulled out of him from the substance in his veins. Or lack thereof, perhaps. It was hard to say, he could only assume the former.

“I came back to you..” he was saying in a tone that was difficult to describe, a sort of detached disbelief or resentment or mistrust. Something foreign, he’d never expressed the words out loud, never let them leave his tightly kept mind.

It was loose now, open and pouring out. The matter in his brain pooling at his feet in an ugly display of outright humanity, with no denying the truth. His filters, his failsafes, they were gone, disabled or broken it was hard to tell. He was frightened by it.

His knees shook and he leaned against the counter, his hand inches away from a kitchen knife. He did not know but he did not care if it punctured his skin. He took a breath, a slight wheeze of his lungs and his eyes fluttered as his head fell, chin to chest briefly.

“..for this?” He seemed to tremble all over for a moment before sliding down the cabinets as if he had lost the strength to stand. He sat heavily on the floor and his feet outstretched in front him.

His head lifted and looked up to the fluorescent light above the counter, attracting a fly to buzz around it. His eyes watered, it may have been the harsh light on sensitive eyes or emotions he was hiding as such.

“To be left here… to wither away and watch you live perfectly fine without me. I came back for this..” he rubbed his hands over his face, his fingers scraping his stubble on his chin loudly. He winced slightly at the noise of it and settled his hands in his lap, his eyes fell there too and became unfocused as the water welled up further in them.

“Why must you torture me with this silence, what more could I do?” He asked in a low whisper and his eyes closed and his head dropped against the cabinet. He seemed to fall unconscious and the vision of John's ghost disappeared with his consciousness.

~~~

When he opened his eyes again it was to a dark hospital room, the smell of bleach in the air and scratchy bedding at his skin. He looked around blearily, unfocused eyes refusing to cooperate in the new environment.

The blur of John's ghost was in the distance by the window and he groaned slightly as he shifted and stretched. The iv pulled at his arm and he settled a moment later moonlight covering his form.

He couldn’t hear anything for some reason and the little light in the room was snuffed out within moments. He fell asleep just later, a warm sensation around his ears was the last thing he noted feeling.

~~~

John held his hands over Sherlocks ears a moment longer before leaning back and observing him as he rested. It has been the third time he’d woken up so sensitive to any noise or light the first time he was practically yelling about it.

The stream of mumbling that accompanied his wakefulness was the only reason he knew what to do. Able to make out something about the harsh lighting and to silence his talking if he tried. Sherlock was quiet when he slept however, the most silent he’d ever seen him.

He stayed close by his side nonetheless, partly out of guilt. It has been months since he’d seen Sherlock, he was trying to get his own shit together after Mary left before reaching out. Though really he had thought Sherlock didn’t want to see him, he didn’t expect the first time he’d see him in so long would be in a hospital.

He was grateful Greg had been kind enough to check in on Sherlock every once in a while, that he had found him in the flat before things got too bad. He didn’t want to imagine how he looked before, he already looked terrible and that was after they cleaned him up somewhat.

He felt guilty, this isn’t what he wanted for Sherlock. He thought by staying away he was doing him good, giving him space to get over all this mess. He honestly thought he’d gloat when he saw him again that he was right about Mary and her deceit about the baby. He wished Sherlock would snap out of this and tell him he was right John should’ve listened to him.

It was a lot to think about while he wanted for Sherlock to wake up, hoping he’d still be himself. That he wouldn’t be too broken by this and be unable to recover, he hoped for that, prayed for it.

Sherlock shifted and started mumbling again, the words were hard to understand but he tried anyway. He could make out his name a few times but otherwise all other meaning was impossible to understand.

It wasn’t until an hour or so later sherlock woke for real, calm and quiet with a river of mumbling behind it. He looked up at John and sighed somewhat and closed his eyes again.

“Disappointed?” He asked lightheartedly yet he was somewhat upset by his reaction to him.

At that he got more of a start, his eyes opened and looked to John quickly scrutinizing his expression. “John..?” He asked after a moment in a rough voice, seeming a bit confused.

John nodded and took his hand automatically without thinking of the implications. “I’m here.”

Sherlock looked at their hands and back to John’s face before seeming to slowly relax and for a moment John thought he saw relief in his eyes before they closed again. “Good..”

—

@catlock-holmes

[forgodssakethiscouldkillyou]

Right, so

Everyone writes and remembers bbc!Sherlock doing cocaine, however is it actually mentioned that he does? I know acd!Sherlock does and it’s stated explicitly, but does bbc!Sherlock?

When Magnussen is looking at his weaknesses/‘pressure points’ it says opium, and Mycroft says he turned his kitchen into a “meth lab” but cocaine isn’t mentioned as far as I can remember.

I’m not gonna rewatch just to answer this so does anyone remember any mentions of bbc!Sherlock actually doing coke?

[musclesandhammering]

Word vomit about BBC Sherlock’s drug problem...

I think I’m one of the only people in this fandom that interprets the whole drug situation this way, and I haven’t watched in awhile so all of my facts are from hazy memory... but it seems that a lot of people on here think that either Sherlock never had THAT serious of a drug problem until the whole falling out with John debacle OR that he DID but only because he used drugs as sort of balm for lack of mental stimulation (ie before he became a detective or when he didn’t have any cases). I completely disagree.

I could be so off, but the way I see it, when you strip away all the detective stuff and all the John and Mary drama and just think of him as an individual person, Sherlock is someone who struggles with a lot of deep issues (depression, trauma, lonliness, anxiety, lack of self worth, and so on and so on) and has for quite awhile, and when he was younger (probably around college age) he began “experimenting” with drugs and discovered that they took the edge off of some of those problems (as many college kids do, let’s be real). Having a bit of social anxiety? Smoke some pot and you’ll be fine. Bored and lonely on a Saturday night with nothing to occupy your giant brain? Do a few lines of coke, you’ll feel great. Lying awake at night wondering what’s wrong with you and why no one likes you and why you can’t go to sleep and instead are analysing the ceiling tiles because you just can’t. turn. your. mind. off? Shoot up some heroine and all that goes away. See what I’m saying?

So in a way... not all that different than most other addicts. It’s not because he likes to “enhance his focus” for cases. It’s not because he likes to “test the affects different narcotics have on his thought process” even though that’s surely what he tells John or Lestrade or whoever asks. He just has problems he doesn’t know how to deal with, and uses drugs to help cope. And then, of course, his body gets addicted and it’s near impossible to stop.

The thing, though, is that judging by the interactions I recall seeing in the show whenever he had a drug episode, it seems that everyone around him genuinely believes that he’s in a category of his own, and while yes, he does have an addiction problem, they seem to think it stems from the fact that he GETS BORED when he doesn’t have a case. They honestly believe the drugs are a product of his lack of work, and not the other way around. The only person I’ve seen that honestly seems to GET IT is Mycroft, on that plane scene in TAB. When he’s talking about Sherlock’s addiction and how they’ve agreed on making a list, and how he use to find him in smack houses, etc. That’s real. Not the image of Super Brain that Uses Drugs to Further his Intellect that Sherlock puts out for everyone to see, but the real Sherlock who’s just a human with poor coping mechanisms.

Now that’s not to say that his Big Brain(TM) isn’t a large contributor to his addiction problem. In fact I think it heavily adds to his anxiety/depression/various other mental issues, which fuel his addiction. That line in TLD was very telling: “I can’t turn it off.” That’s what he says to Faith in reference to his deductive abilities. He says it’s like an engine racing out of control, and several times in the show we see him get overwhelmed by his own thought process. I think the fact that he often can’t control his own brain, that he can’t slow it down, that he can’t stop thinking and analysing and picking everything apart, that he can’t really ever relax or feel normal... that’s why he feels so isolated from everyone and that’s why he chose to experiment with illicit substances in the first place.

On a side note, I also think he did have a fairly significant problem pre-canon, and even in parts of pre-season 4 canon. No one can say for certain, but there are quite a few hints (I think) that would lead us to believe that he was an addict when he met Lestrade, and at some point got clean. And considering how young he looked in Mycroft’s flashback, he probably had gone to rehab/gotten clean/relapsed several times prior to this as well. Plus he obviously had some small relapses in seasons 1 and 2 (“Is your flat [clean]? All of it?”, danger nights) so we know this is an ongoing and serious problem for him. It’s not just an occasional thing, or a thing he does when he’s got nothing better to do. And despite not having any canonical evidence, I’m pretty confident that he struggles with cravings and temptation a lot more than he’d let on. He’s not staying clean because it hinders his job, he’s staying clean because it matters to him personally, and he’s proud of himself when goes awhile without relapsing.

I dunno though. Just my word vomit on a topic I’ve been semi-obsessed with lately. Please reply with your own headcanons. Does anyone agree with me? Probably not but thanks for scrolling.

[notagarroter]

drug imagery in The Lying Detective

[mellowmanatee]

Seriously though, high as kite Sherlock reciting Henry V is a bit of a turn on.

[consult-sherlockholmes]

Even the spam bots are now taunting me.  They finally found a way to gain my attention, not with digital harlots, but with chemicals.