Summary: He's a mess. God, he's a fucking mess. Kurt didn't expect to find himself literally stumbling out of a bar at 3 a.m. but here he was. Drunk and lonely and sad under a streetlight on a New York City sidewalk outside of a bar at 3 a.m. How did he let himself get here?
Tropes/Genre: one shot, Kurt angst, NYC!Klaine, hurt/comfort, reunion fic
It’s time for the return of my precious mess baby, drunk!Kurt, so look here for some schmoopy husbands. This is based on a one-word prompt: “stumbling.”
1500 words | AO3
This has been… a night.
He’s far too warm. So is Blaine, but Blaine is always like that, always warm and cozy because Kurt married a furnace, and that’s okay because their little vintage apartment has radiators that work on a spotty basis at best, and–
“Kurt? You okay?”
Kurt sighs and presses his cheek against the side of Blaine’s face. Warm, warm, warm. “I’m okay,” he slurs, and though the sound of it (”Uhm-kay”) tells him exactly how drunk he is, he doesn’t care, because they’re at the threshold of their apartment and Blaine’s holding onto him just fine. He’s so hot, and a little sweaty, but that’s okay too, because they have the best times together when they’re hot and sweaty, and it’s Valentine’s Day, so–
“Are you sure?” Blaine pauses his attempt to get his keys out of his pocket and tightens his grip around Kurt’s waist. He reaches up and pushes Kurt’s bangs out of his face where his coif has finally fallen out of its hairspray.
Kurt just kisses him in response, because he loves him and because he can, savoring the sweet, lingering taste of his last cocktail on his lips. Warm lips, warm body against him, warm hand on his forehead. Warm Blaine, warm warm warm. Kurt sighs happily, and kisses him harder.
They’ve both been drinking tonight, of course, but over the years, Blaine’s alcohol tolerance has grown, and Kurt’s has only plateaued. It seems he will always be a lightweight. The cab ride home from Washington Square Park had been so lovely, Kurt full of a magnificent Valentine’s dinner from his favorite French restaurant in Lower Manhattan, drunk on expensive cocktails and cuddled up with his husband in the back seat. Blaine had held him close, running his fingertips up and down Kurt’s arm, his other hand intertwined with Kurt’s in his lap. The city lights were as gorgeous as ever, their ride across the Brooklyn Bridge underscored with some beautiful music in a language neither of them understood, their cab driver singing along softly under his breath. It was perfect, and so “New York rom-com” that Kurt couldn’t have written it if he tried.
Blaine pulls away with one last kiss to Kurt’s bottom lip, then lets them into the apartment, guiding Kurt slowly through the doorway with a firm grip around his waist.
He stumbles anyway, gripping Blaine’s coat in his fist to catch himself even though Blaine’s got him perfectly safe and secure in his arms. “Uhm-kay,” he says again, giggling into Blaine’s neck before nuzzling at his cheek with his nose. Warm, warm, warm. “I’m home with you now. Tha’s always okay. But – but not just okay, you know, iss’great.”
“It is,” Blaine laughs, full of affection, his eyes betraying his own level of drunkenness but still sparkling and focused as he gazes at his love. “Great is an understatement.”
“Iss’all unner–understatements.” Kurt shakes his head, looking back at Blaine, feeling feelings start to swell and rise in his throat. He cries when he’s really, really drunk, he knows this about himself, he’s known ever since he was sixteen and he threw up on Emma Schuester back when she was Emma Pillsbury and he was crying at her over a fictional dead deer, and he’s not going to throw up now, but he is going to start crying, but he’s so happy, why is he crying–?
“Shhh, baby, what is it?” Blaine pulls Kurt into their bedroom and sits him down on the end of the bed, holding Kurt’s face in his hands and wiping under his eyes with his thumbs.
Kurt tries to pinpoint the reason, his emotions all pushing forward at once as he tries to encapsulate everything that he’s feeling about this wonderful man standing in front of him. His voice comes whiny and thick with tears when he finally says, “I really wanna fuck you.”
Blaine laughs so hard that he’s snorting at first, doubled over with his head on Kurt’s shoulder.
“Blaine?” he sniffles. “Why’sso funny?”
“I’m – I’m sorry,” he says, climbing onto the bed on his knees to straddle Kurt’s thighs. “Why is that making you cry?”
“Iss’nothat – It’s. Not. That,” Kurt answers, carefully enunciating with determination as he looks up at Blaine. “I’m too – I’m okay,” he insists, “but the words for how much I love you are too hard. And they’re always like that because I love you so much, not just today ‘cause it’s Valentine’s Day, but I can never say it right or say it enough, and I’m sorry.”
“Oh, Kurt.” Blaine sits completely on his lap, grounding him with his familiar weight. ”I know how much you love me–”
“No, you don’t,” Kurt says. It’s the sharpest and most alert he’s been for hours.
Blaine blinks and goes quiet again.
“I can’t tell you suff–suffis–suf-fi-cient-ly. I can’t. ‘Cause it’s too much. And I know you love me like that too, but you can ackshully–act-u-ally say it right. So the only way I can tell you is if I show you, but I can’t show you ‘cause I can’t fuck you ‘cause I’m too drunk and I’m just…” At a loss for anything else to say, Kurt sighs, “You can do that, too. That thing with your eyes. The hearts. I can’t. I can’t do any of that, and you need to know.”
He’s tipping backwards, then, Blaine gently pushing him down on the bed with the warmest, sweetest look on his face – always warm, warm, warm – as he lays down next to him. “You can. You do all of that and more, Kurt. Every day, when you don’t let me forget my keys, when you make sure I have a protein bar in my bag on busy days, when you cut your shower short to make sure I get hot water – on days when we don’t shower together, I mean,” Blaine adds, smiling into Kurt’s kiss and stroking his cheek. “And yes, when you… make love to me.”
He says it to make Kurt laugh, and it works. They haven’t called it that since high school, even though that’s almost always what it is for them.
“Baby, believe me: I can’t really tell you how much I love you, either.” Blaine settles against Kurt’s side, cradling the back of his head to keep him in place as he sucks and nips at his bottom lip.
“Yeah, okay,” Kurt gasps, resting a hand on Blaine’s chest. “But I’m – Whiskey dick. Or wine dick. Vodka dick? Whatever we had. Iss’not happ – hap’ning tonight and I feel bad. It’s Valentine’s Day and we’re s’posed to.”
“We’re supposed to love each other, Kurt, that’s all. We can do that, right?” Blaine rests their foreheads together, his fingers toying with the knot of Kurt’s tie as he waits for his answer.
“Yeah. Always.”
Kurt lies there as Blaine works, carefully undressing him and setting his things aside or in the hamper the way Kurt likes them. Blaine follows his handiwork with soft, almost chaste kisses, murmuring, “Love you,” every so often as he glances up at Kurt’s drowsy, half-lidded eyes.
Kurt responds with the same, every time.
Each lost layer is a relief for Kurt’s flushed, clammy skin, though watching Blaine undress afterwards does nothing to help him cool off. Blaine leaves the room for a moment, and Kurt just stares up at the ceiling while he’s gone, blinking slowly and giddy with happiness. His feelings are no less intense than they were a few moments ago, but now they’ve settled back into that place where they rest most days, where he’s so in love and so grateful for his life that the only way he can stand it is to accept it, and let it be.
Blaine returns with a bottle of aspirin and two full glasses of water; he sets one on the nightstand on his side of the bed, then makes Kurt take a pill and drink half of the other glass before he sets the rest on the other nightstand. Then he slides under the covers with Kurt, scooting backwards into his arms with a happy little hum.
“That’s the kind of thing you meant earlier, huh?” Kurt asks, spooning Blaine and pressing an admittedly sloppy kiss to his shoulder. He yawns and rests his cheek against Blaine’s skin. Warm, warm, warm.
“Yeah, that’s what I meant. Even if you never said it again, I’d still know.”
Kurt hums, sleep finally beginning to overtake him–
“But… Kurt?”
“Hmm?”
“Never stop saying it?”
Kurt squeezes Blaine tighter, rubbing his nose against the back of his neck. This is what he meant. Half the reason he needs to tell Blaine so badly is because he knows Blaine needs to hear it. They both do, no matter how much they trust it, no matter how much they love and care for each other on a daily basis.
He takes a deep breath and presses his lips to Blaine’s ear, taking the words slowly and carefully because they are the most important words he could ever say. “I love you, Blaine.”
Blaine clutches the arm Kurt has wrapped around his torso and says, “I love you, too, Kurt. So much.”
For the drunk Kurt request I want to recommend Stranded / Recovered by skivvysupreme. It is a cute short story with drunk Kurt stumbling upon Blaine in the dorm hallway.
Thanks for the suggestion. - HKVoyage
Stranded / Recovered by skivvysupreme
Blaine gets kicked out of his own room when his two best friends decide to resolve their sexual tension, but, as it turns out, being sexiled is not the end of the world.
i was wondering if u remember a fanfic you recommended a while ago where kurt and blaine used to know each other and kurt got drunk and makes a tiktok reviewing all his old crushes
also i remember he was with mercedes in the beginning
Here you go. - HKVoyage
My Heart, It Pounds, Yeah You Got Me by nineofhearts, raimykeller
Kurt gets drunk and records a TikTok entitled “Guys I Had A Crush On In High School”, in which he talks about, rates, and shows pictures of his various crushes— embarrassing, unrequited, and otherwise — thinking he set it to friends only or private. When he wakes up the next day, he has a flood of notifications that prove otherwise, a hangover, and a text from Blaine Anderson. The longest part of Kurt’s now viral video.
Fics where Kurt or Blaine forgets/pretends to forget the other's birthday
I found one for you. - HKVoyage
Live Passionately Tonight by @grlnxtdr30 (Kelliott endgame)
Blaine has been spending a lot of time with June Dolloway, and now has forgotten Kurt's Birthday. Fed up, Kurt goes out and gets drunk. An encounter on the dance floor with a mysterious stranger brings consequences Kurt could never imagine.
Summary: Kurt gets drunk and records a TikTok entitled “Guys I Had A Crush On In High School”, in which he talks about, rates, and shows pictures of his various crushes— embarrassing, unrequited, and otherwise — thinking he set it to friends only or private. When he wakes up the next day, he has a flood of notifications that prove otherwise, a hangover, and a text from Blaine Anderson. The longest part of Kurt’s now viral video.
i can’t find this one no matter how hard i search, do you guys remember the name of that really cute one chap fic about (relatively) newly-wed klaine in ny finding the best parts about marriage, it was kind of in the style of a 5+1 fic but i don’t think it was actually one, i remember two of the perks were that they use each other as excuses to get out of going places (kurt told rachel blaine was sick, blaine told artie kurt was sick) and that they were honest about questionable fashion choices (kurt vetoed blaine’s parachute pants, blaine vetoed kurt wearing a cape lmao) thank u in advance!!
I couldn't find this specific fic. Readers, if you know it, please send it in. The one listed below has similar vibes so you might enjoy it. - HKVoyage
5 Times: Darling, Just Kiss Me Slow by InsightfulInsomniac
Five types of kisses that Kurt and Blaine share in their domestic moments of early marriage. Wholesome, sweet early married Klaine with a few guest appearances along the way from Burt and Carole.
Aka my five favorite kiss ideas from a kiss prompt list I found a long time ago.
Happy Holidays! I am looking for a PDF of the fic Living in the Same World. Where Blaine is a police officer. I saw someone else asked and the link no longer works. Thanks for the help!
Here’s the EPUB file and you can also read on the author’s Tumblr. ~Lynne
Living In The Same World by a-simple-rainbow [EPUB] [Tumblr]
Drunk, Kurt Hummel makes a humiliating mistake: A quick flick of his eyes, over the man’s shoulder and towards the door reveals another man standing there. This second man is taller and bigger. Muscles stretching out a tacky imitation of a police uniform as he holds a boom box under his arm, standing right behind the (Oh god) actual police officer.
