#drunk grandma

[bitchandbro]

Family conversation today

Literally anyone (probably Pepa): *brings up politics, lgbt issues, or anything controversial*

Mema (one too many glasses of wine consumed): “Alright Jesus, I’m ready to go, get me outta here” *gets up and immediately trips on nothing*

[jinxartsy]

My grandma got drunk at sat down and watched cat videos for an hour and that's honestly so relatable

[therealgamble]

Random drabble prompt: this party sucks.

There were two things that concerned Tabby when Brian walked through the door. First, he was still in uniform, which was unusual.  Normally he showered and changed at the station before he came home. Second, he walked right in flopped on the couch like he was exhausted.

“Rough detail?” She questioned, walking over and sitting down next to him. Special weekend detail was usually directing traffic at the Dodgers game or something similarly easy.  Brian loved it for that reason, and the double time pay didn’t hurt either.

“Wait.” She sniffed at him suspiciously. “Why do you smell like… is that… baby oil?” The corner of her lips turned up into a smirk. “What the hell kind of detail were you on? Greasing up wet t-shirt contest contestants?” As she looked closer at him, she could swear he had glitter in his hair.

Brian gave a long suffering sigh. “Remember last weekend when Drunk Grandma asked if we might have time to come to her party this weekend?”

“Yeah.” Tabby nodded, “But we couldn’t go because your work called.” She wasn’t upset about it though, she was used to him getting last minute assignments.

Brian turned and looked at her, like she should be putting the pieces together already.

She stared back at him. “She didn’t… did she call in and have you assigned to it?”

Brian nodded. “Me and Street.”

“Wow. Must have been a fancy party.”

Brian shook his head no.

——————–

They had shown up at the location only knowing that they were working security for a party. It sounded easy enough, and Brian even hoped they’d be fed and maybe even score a few drinks out of it.  He couldn’t imagine what kind of party needed two cops working security, maybe it was some celebrity thing, that would be fun.

When they walked in to the place two things became clear - this was a run down old banquet hall, and the party was about a dozen older ladies with what looked like a potluck lunch.

Brian barely had a moment to wonder what was going on before the answer presented itself. Drunk Grandma sashayed over with an obviously drunk grin and called out, "Ladies, our entertainment is here!" Suddenly the two cops found themselves surrounded.___________________

"So the baby oil?" Tabby asked, trying valiantly to keep a semi-straight face.

"She sprayed it at us and told us to strip for them." Brian growled, sniffing experimentally at his shirt.

That reply sent Tabby into peals of laughter, which just made Brian roll his eyes. "And the glitter?" She choked out.

"She threw it over us." He sighed.

Tabby tried hard to suppress the giggles, but it was a losing battle. "Oh babe!" She chuckled, "I'm sorry her party sucked so bad."

"No you're not." He observed, matter of factly.

She shook her head in agreement. "Come on officer sexy. Lets get you in the shower."

[adwynart]

christ(mas)

so we were having a nice christmas dinner, and my mom gets up to go get the dessert, and everyone goes silent. No one is talking, and you can only hear the song in the background. So, suddenly, my grandma, after her first cup of wine, says "huh?" followed by "I'm drunk."

[muffystopheles]

On Facebook talking about location for our Pats fan group meetup, and I’m so excited because football season means DRUNK GRANDMA.  If you weren’t with us last year, Drunk Grandma is this older lady who would get seriously pitchdrunk with the rest of us, and then would get high fives from everyone anytime our boys did something well. Even when we had 80+ people in the room, Drunk Grandma would get high fives from EV.ERY.ONE. She gets us hype, and I’m so pumped.

[chicagocomedyfilm-blog]

Grandma is doing shots! 

Grandma Does Shots - Terrible Commercial - America's Funniest Viral Vids

[chickenwithparmaham]

Tell me how I'm supposed to get ANYTHING done today?!