BitchandBro

Two units of absolute gay fuckery Bro: the definition of useless lesbian, a walking disaster, obsessed with piercings, worships Hayley Kiyoko (bc obviously), runs exclusively on espresso shots Bitch: dumbass demisexual panromantic, adores any and all puppies, problematic theater nerd, gives no fucks, here for the tea

[bitchandbro]

If peaches are the boots with the fur, are nectarines the reeboks with the straps?

- Bitch

[bitchandbro]

“This is an act of homophobia. (Pause) In the house of god.”

(Shortly after): Don’t blaspheme in this (pottery shop)

- Bro after Bitch called her a dumb bitch at a pottery shop

[dream-dyke]

bi girls and lesbians are FRIENDSSSSS. we’re FRIENDSSS fuck you

[bitchandbro]

We’re also girlfriends

[bitchandbro]

So many problems would be solved if parents would just knock on their kids’ fucking doors before coming into their rooms.

[bitchandbro]

MY FELLOW GAYS, THE STRAIGHTS™ ARE AT IT AGAIN.

As a pansexual woman, I sometimes have sex with people with penises... this sometimes results in pregnancy scares. However, this will go down in history as the DUMBEST thing a straight guy has said to me when the condom broke:

“Oh we can just open another condom with spermicidal lube and put that shit up there with a turkey baster”

EXCUSE ME SIR??? I have many, many questions, many of which involve your intellect and level of sex education (granted, I can’t expect much from the American education system), but come on... what logical person would actually think that would work?

[queenofthefaces]

[savastasia]

How are disabled and interracial illegal???

[anarchohellenism]

Interracial marriage was outlawed for the longest time, and disabled people lose government benefits when they get married so they cannot have reassurance that they will continue to LIVE if they get married.

[rxbiteme]

Story time: my mom is white, dad is black. They’ve been together twenty four years, married for twenty three. When my parents were dating they did it on the low TO KEEP MY DAD SAFE.

My mom’s parents said “We don’t care who you love.” At that point she’d only ever brought home white guys. She brought my dad home-her mother called her a nigger lover and damned the relationship as much as possible. Her father grew around his prejudices after I was born but never apologized, just wasn’t a blatant fuck.

The day she introduced my father to her family was the last time she spoke to her mother for over twenty years. When I was getting sick and she called and asked her mother and grandmother if anyone in the family had anything strange happen similar what I was going through they told her “it’s because you married a black man. You made your bed, you lie in it.”

Cops pulled them over all the time and asked my mom IF SHE WAS OKAY AND IF SHE NEEDED HELP BECAUSE MY FATHER-A BLACK MAN-WAS DRIVING A 100 POUND WHITE WOMAN AROUND. HE WAS HARRASSED AND THREATED WITH ARREST.

My father ended up getting into a fight in self defence because some entitled hick decided he didn’t like seeing a black man and white woman in the bar together. Thankfully other patrons helped my father but he still couldn’t go to the er for his injuries. My mom patched him up and they were terrified the cops would take him away.

THEIR BEST FRIEND GOT LICENSED TO MARRY THEM SO THEY COULD ACTUALLY TIE THE KNOT BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WOULD AND CITED JIM CROW ERA LAW AS TO WHY.

When shopping with just me my father wouldn’t hold my hand if there was a group around. Why? I’m far lighter than him and people had stopped and asked him “whose child is that?” Or “little girl where’s your parents?” and were stunned when I grinned and pointed at my dad and proudly proclaimed “my daddy’s right here.” You know where else mixed kids couldn’t hold their parents hands? Apartheid South Africa. We live in fucking FLORIDA.

So yeah. Some history for you.

[kari-izumi]

This post was made in October 2018. The above poster’s parents met in 1994. We were a generation removed from the Civil Rights movement and this was happening.

[marzipanandminutiae]

when my parents got married in 1979, they had to check to make sure they could legally do it at their intended venue

why?

my mom has epilepsy, and in the late 19th-early 20th centuries, several states passed laws banning people with epilepsy- among other disabilities -from marrying

(luckily the state in question had removed the law from the books, but just the fact that it was a concern is appalling)

[themodernsouthernpolytheist]

And it’s SO important to remember these things. People on tumblr often somewhat remember life before Hodges v. Obergefell, but many were kids. And that was just 4 years ago. Loving v. Virginia, the case that allowed interracial marriage, was argued in 1967. My mom was 9. She’s a Boomer and I’m a Millennial. This was NOT that long ago. But by not framing it like that, it’s easy for people for whom it’s always been law to not realize how recent it was.

[lmaonade]

lesbians are always right. if your lesbian friends tells you some shit that’s good info 

[im-god-now-fight-me-deactivated]

“i’ve got a date with destiny and it ain’t gonna end with a kiss” is such a raw-ass quote i can’t believe it came from a phineas and ferb episode about hunting a giant metal whale with harpoons made of toilet plungers.

[dream-dyke]

bi girls and lesbians are FRIENDSSSSS. we’re FRIENDSSS fuck you

[ice-block]

Remember when someone on tumblr would post a rhetorical question like “I wonder why all us neurodivergent people love the rain so much” and someone would make up some garbage like “well you see rain carries negative particles (which is why you get depressed if you drink rainwater) and since neurodivergent people are depressed the negative particles feel natural to them uwu” and everyone would be like “thanks science side of tumblr”

[helenamayhathaway]

Listen, you gotta be real nice to retail workers these next few weeks, not JUST because they’re humans who deserve respect but also because their store has turned on the Christmas music.

[kabaks]

take a shot every time some bitchass homophobic creator says “no this same gender relationship is not gay because its DEEPER than what the gays are capable of. we all know gay people are not really human lol”

[kabaks]

im really disgusted when the FUCK will these cowardly motherfuckers use their right to remain fucking silent like shut up. shut up about non romantic relationships being deeper shut UP stop masking your blatant homophobia and just be QUIET

[veggieheist]

My friend sent this to me

And it brightened my evening.

But then twenty minutes later he sent me this

And I just

My brain can't handle this much serotonin

[lesbianrey]

me: why do i have tinnitus

also me trying to maximize serotonin release w every song that slaps:

[catasters]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Should I get my friends together to jump rope with someone’s small intestine? (Don’t ask who’s organ it is)

my thought process was:

wtf is WRONG wi–

wait would it even be long enough to–

no no nope i am not gonna goo– 

…*googles it*

fuck you op. fuck yourself sideways and lubeless you decaying fucking gourd fruit 

[let-them-eat-rakes]

also remember that they wiggle into place like eels

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

huh i genuinely thought we’d hit rock bottom but u just had to grab the fuckin shovel huh

[bitchandbro]

“I sold pot brownies to buy fake titties from wish.com”

-A girl in my dorm