#drunk karkat

[rainbownoodles659]

So someone was RP'ing drunk Karkat.....

CG: ALL HAIL TE MAGIC CONCH!!!!!!!1!!

EB: are you ok...?

[introsquirrel]

i turned off my computer last night in frustration for it being a royal turd and apparently i just ragequit it

so today i open up a blank word document and it says, "would you like to restore draft?" and i'm like, sure, let's see what i did last night

here it is:

"DEAR ASSHOLE,

IF YOU ARE READING THIS, THAT MEANS THAT I AM NOW DEEMED WHAT THE POPULAR MEDIA WOULD REFER TO AS "BLASTED" AND I AM PROBABLY EMBARRASSING MYSELF ENOUGH TO GET MY OWN VIRAL FOLLOWING ON YOUTUBE AS "THAT LOSER WITH THE OBNOXIOUS LAUGH, LOOK AT HIM CHORKLE LIKE HE NEEDS MEDICAL ATTENTION." AS YOU'RE PROBABLY EXPERIENCING RIGHT NOW, DRUNK ME IS GOING TO TRY TO CONVINCE YOU THAT HE CANNOT SLEEP AND THAT HE IS AN IMMORTAL WHO DOESN'T NEED THESE THINGS CALLED REM CYCLES THAT EVERYONE'S RAVING ABOUT. DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, HE'S A FUCKING IDIOT. THE REASON HE DOESN'T WANT TO SLEEP IS BECAUSE I GET NIGHTMARES ON ALCOHOL. LIKE, IF YOU WITNESSED WHAT I WITNESSED IN MY SLEEP YOU'D PROBABLY COMMIT ME TO THE NEAREST PSYCH WARD AND SACRIFICE ME TO THE GHOSTS OF THE DISTURBED THAT LINGER THERE. ANYWAY, MAKE HIM SLEEP. HE NEEDS IT AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET OVER A HANGOVER IF I'M NOT GROSSLY SOBBING WHILE VOMITING INTO THE GAPER.

ALSO, FUCK YOU FOR LETTING ME GET BLACKOUT DRUNK YOU IRRESPONSIBLE GREASY BULGEKNOT. FUCK YOU AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT TOUCHING ME INAPPROPRIATELY. I HAVE FRIENDS. THESE FRIENDS HAVE CHAINSAWS AND SCIENCE WANDS. YOU THINK ABOUT THAT WHILE YOU'RE JERKING YOURSELF OFF TONIGHT PERVERT.

THE BEST WAY TO GET DRUNK ME TO SLEEP IS TO TELL HIM TO LAY ON A FLAT SURFACE AND STARGAZE. HE WILL TELL YOU WHAT SECRETS YOUR CEILING WHISPERS INTO HIS GANDER BULBS. AS I SAY, HE'S A MORON. HE WILL TRY TO CONVINCE YOU THAT YOU NEED TO LIE WITH HIM AND MAKE WHOOSH NOISES SO HE CAN GET AN ACCURATE READING. DON'T ASK, I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE.

SEE YOU IN THE MORNING, AND THE BUCKET YOU WILL INEVITABLE PLACE BESIDE ME BETTER BE FUCKING **EMPTY** GOT IT?

GOOD."

Apparently this was in his phone. And he'd trained his drunk self to show it to people.

i'm so very glad i opened this draft, you have no idea

[ashkdrunkstuck-blog]

CG: HE IS GOING ALONE AND FUCKING DEAL WITH IT.

CG: NOW I WILL RETURN TO THE BAR AND DRINK A BIT MORE WITH GAMZEE

CG: I NEED TO KEEP AN EYE ON THAT MOTHERFUCKER ANYWAY.

[ashkdrunkstuck-blog]

CG: SO LIKE, A DANCE OR SOME SHIT.

CG: EXCUSE MY HORRIBLE HEADACHE AND THE FACT THAT I AM A TERRIBLE DANCER.

CG: WHERE THE FUCK IS ERIDAN?

---

Yule ball Representative: Karkat- Dance Request

So yeah, since my ask blog is full of drunkies I decided to pick for the yuleball.

Drunk!Karkat Vantas is going to be the one.

So if you want to dance with him, drop me an ask.

And if you want a Dance or song in specific with Him,

Dont be afraid and tell me, I dont mind or bite.

[soliderpallaton]