#drunk tim

[bigmanst0ker]

Boss just amde a your mom joke, the world is endign

[dragontamer05]

☠ Sorry I can't help, but be curious about what Timaeus will say^^;

“Ur really pretty you know that. So did you like our music? Hermos can be kind of an idiot sometimes but he’s a great drummer, you know. Dun ever let em sing though cause he can’t. Did I mention ur reaally pretty.”

@aurorachan

[awhitehead17]

I love your writing! For the writing prompt, can I request either 11. Tattoo or 83. Confetti?

Thank you so much! With this one I’ve gone with tattoo as I’ve already done confetti before and since you haven’t given me any characters I’ve chosen to do Tim and Jason for this. Hope you enjoy! :D

Why him? 

Out of all the people at that goddamn party why was it him that gets stuck babysitting a drunk off his ass, unable to stand Tim. 

The kid had latched onto him and before Jason could get rid of him Bruce had seen how wiped out the kid was and demanded (not asked) Jason take him home and put him to bed. They were all attending some big charity event type thing and somehow, for whatever reason, Tim has gotten drunk to the point where he makes no sense and can’t stand or walk on his own. 

Normally Jason would be having a blast at seeing Tim off his rocker but having to actually deal with him is spoiling his fun. Turns out Tim is a very affectionate and very clingy drunk. 

Anyway, at this moment in time Jason is hauling Tim’s ass down through Gotham’s streets trying to get him to their closet safe house. He would have taken him to the Manor but by the time they call a taxi and arrive at the Manor it would just overall be quicker to walk to the safehouse instead. The sooner Tim gets into bed, the better. 

As they make their way down the street, Tim was constantly babbling about who knows what but the main thing is that Tim was walking along (more accurately stumbling along) with him and not resisting. 

It actually wasn’t until they were one corner away from the safe house entrance that Tim resists against him with a loud gasp like he’s just come up with the most brilliant idea ever.

From where Tim was trying to stop walking Jason glares down at him and tugs his arm even harder than before, “Tim let’s go, we’re almost there.”

Tim ignores him and carries on resisting against him, this time hitting Jason with one of his hands repeatedly, “Jason! Jason! I got an idea!” 

Jason grabs the offending appendage to stop the hitting. He stops them from moving altogether and stares down at Tim in question. He is kind of curious to what drunk Tim has come up with. 

“What’s that then Timbo?” Jason questions. “Getting to bed and going to sleep?”

“Noooo…” Tim gives him a look like he’s stupid for suggesting such a thing. “Let’s get a tattoo!” 

Jason blinks at him wondering if he heard the kid right. Apparently he must have been staring for to long because Tim starts hitting him again, this time with his other hand. 

“Let’s get a tattoo! We could even get matching ones!”

Jason blinks again, because yeah, he did hear him right the first time. There’s a pause between them as Jason looks down at Tim with a bewildered expression and as Tim looks up at him with a hopeful one. 

Jason couldn’t help but burst out laughing then and starts dragging Tim back down the street. “Oh baby bird, that is brilliant! Bruce would absolutely flip his shit if any one of us got a tattoo.” 

Thankfully Tim is no longer resisting to being pulled down the street and is stumbling alongside him once again but he was looking at Jason with a disappointed frown.

“Who cares about him, it’s our bodies. We should get to do what we want to them.” 

Jason laughs again, completely blown away by what he was hearing. “Believe it or not Tim, you do for a fact care about what daddy dearest thinks. Don’t deny it, you do. Getting a tattoo is a bad idea.” 

Tim makes a noise in protest and Jason ignores in favour of turning the corner they have approached and starts leading him towards the safehouse entrance. Managing to keep a hold of Tim he’s able to unlock the safe house, get through all the security and set it all back up again before dragging Tim to the bedroom. 

As Jason pushes Tim down on the bed and starts to strip him from the suit he was wearing Tim starts speaking again. “I really want to get a tattoo Jason, I think you should get one too. We could get matching ones like a little robin or something. Like something meaningful.” 

Jason sends him a look, “Baby bird, getting a tattoo on your is a horrible idea, especially considering what we do as our nightly activities. Your sober self would agree with me here.” 

“But I want one!” Tim whines pathetically. 

Jason shoves him underneath the covers and watches as Tim curls up around the pillow at the head of the bed. “I’m sure you do. Think about it when your sober and make a rational decision then.”

Tim mutters something incoherently into the pillow and Jason rolls his eyes. With Tim finally in bed he leaves the room and keeps the door open so he could hear if the kid wakes up at all and goes to the kitchen to cook himself some supper before calling it a night himself. He snorts remembering the walk here and the whole conversation, a tattoo, what an idiot.

[changing-my-username]

Sober me was correct. 4.0% ciders really are just shandies

[changing-my-username]

Laptop is a fucking joke. "9.4 mb available". We both know that's bollocks, you have at least 5 gb available. Cheeky cunt

[changing-my-username]

These football songs are too positive. "We're gonna score one more than you." Absolute bollocks. Where's the depression? Where's the "we're gonna score one less than you"?! That's real Britain

[changing-my-username]

A blonde lady asked me if was alright tonight. Ma'am, I am drinking alone in my 30's in a pub in Shropshire, do I look alright?!

[changing-my-username]

This phone is a pile of shit btw