#drunk typing

[cryptophasiac]

my main problem is every time i go out to party i think this is so gabe saporta pilled

[trickywalrus]

♭ ღ ϟ

ღ for an affectionate textϟ for a drunk text♭ for an angry text

Okay...let’s try to make a Drunk, angry, affectionate text here

Xin: Daugh53te4Xin: Why r u diung a semon man?Xin: Hes actiily a dwmon! Yoi can fo do much better rhan thatXin: Im trllng u tgos only bvuz i live you. Dump him or u srnt invited to Snowdown ghis year.

[butterflyinthewell]

I am so not sober right now. But the party was fun. I kind of emotionally exploded all over John (choir director) and discovered he understands where I’m coming from with my feelings. He was so sweet and understanding and he just let me talk because he could see that I needed to.

I apologize if there are typos, I can’t feel my fingertips right now because I am still kinda drunk. I drank way too much because I am so stressed out. I am actually soberer than I was earlier. The ,tips of my extremities are are still kind of numb and tingly. Do not get in my condition and drive.

[heistcrew]

all of you leaving cuz of the nsfw ban outed yourselves as horny

[mxsentienthouseplant]

Hello, yes

drunk akum here

had about half a bottle of wine.

Time to fucking bang this shit out 

(heh bang)

and edit in the morning

now is the time to send me random questions if you’re bored

[daykinking]

I guess I dirn tneed to .

Fully re2ite my pinned lol casuei did that and blacked out andfofog avoid it

[darkstarswitch]

Okay. so, I'm drunk

Thank you to everyone that has stuck with me. Y'all are suckers...I mean y'all are dedicated. One of my closest friends just left and he does not have a girlfriend! He's handsome, intelligent, has a weird sense of humor, is hard working and is looking for his place in life. (Do you have any idea how hard it is to type when you are drunk and cannot see the keys?!) so, I told him that this could be our YouTube channel...Me and my sir trying to find our friend a decent girlfriend! My friend laughed, I laughed...but why not. Oh yeah...the reason it doesn't work is because I cannot keep up with doing a YouTube channel. I would love to see him with a woman that could hang with us. I will admit that I am weird. My sir is weird, and my friend is weird and if any woman can handle that, well, then, you my dear have earned a spot by our fire.

I'm drunk and hungry. I have someone else on my mind. My sir is passed out besides me, and our friend just left. Seriously, would ANYONE actually tune in to see the crap that goes on in our lives?! In all actuality, yes. Yes, they would. Seriously. Jenna Marbles got YouTube rich from doing stupid stuff even though her first videos were makeup tutorials. At least I think they were. Sorry Jenna. My sir followed you way before I even knew about you.

I have lost time. In all actuality, I have not been paying attention. Some documentaries about the Amityville Horror has been playing in the background and we have not been paying much attention to it. I have hiccups, I can't see straight. On this note...goodnight, my friends!

[natsukomaiko]

How to celebrate your newfound freedom:

-get piss drunk off champagne, wine, and vodka on a Wednesday night

-play the fuck out of Mario party with your housemate

-drive the long way home because fuck the highway

-fuck work in the morning, that's why ibuprofen was invented

-throw your bra in a corner of your room with reckless abandon

- drunk text all your friends how grateful you are for them

- laugh, loudly, for no reason other than to feel the pure unbridled joy you've repressed for years

- scroll tinder because you can who fucking cares

- ghost the asshole who sent you a dick pic on the day of your divorce hearing

- put yourself out there to the cutie with the button nose

- text your best friends and past lovers how much you still love them to brighten their day

- watch your partner's stream and send all the positive vibes you can to break their loosing streak

- post the texts and letters your family sent you in encouragement of your decisions on Instagram

- change your name and rejoice in being part of your family again

- put your trauma in a jar and let it be

To everyone who's been there for me these past few months, who helped me discover myself and figure my way through the shit, thank you. To those who wiped the dirt off my eyes and showed me where I really was and where I could be, thank you. To those who gave me the support I needed when I didn't think I deserved it, thank you. To those who cheered me on and helped carry me through, thank you.

From my journal in March:

"Can I rebuild myself when I unravel

Will you help catch what spills out

Could we even catch it all

What will remain of me

When I come out the other side

Will I ever come out on that side

Stumbling, broken, exhausted

And will you be among those

To catch me

again"