SBI Home Alone AU
Merry christmas! Here are some drabbles of an AU i brainrotted while watching this movie with my family this holiday
enjoy!
so,
SBI is going on a trip, because Phil is a great dad who loves his sons, they’re going to Florida for Christmas and that is that. He pack’s up the car, he yells for his sons, he's gets in the driver’s seat and he's ready to go to the airport for a tropical christmas goddamnit Will I swear to god if you complain about the time one MORE TIME-
Of course, the flight is at like 4am. Because Why Not. And Dadza is Tired TM, so he's trusting his boys to get their shit in the car.
His only thoughts upon leaving: coffee, drive, Florida, cool.
None of the Craft’s like mornings, they get to the airport, they get through secuirty, they're boarding the plane. The energy is off, its 3:30am, they're just doing their best to survive the crowded airport. Security and things are a little wild, whatever, they get through.
Phil turns periodically, doing a headcount of his 3 boys.
Tall and brunette. Check.
Tall and pink. Check.
Tall and - wait, where was tall and blonde?
Phil panics for just a moment, before he sees a blonde tuft peek out from behind Wil’s shoulder, he’s wearing a purple hoodie, he’s right there, and he lets himself relax.
This continues on all the way to the gate, and somehow, miraculously, they arrive just in time to board.
The Craft family joins the single file line, they each hand the hostess their tickets and they’re on their way.
Finally, they’ve boarded the plane
Phil booked 6 seats for the four of them because they're all tall bastards who need the extra space, two entire rows just for the 4 Craft’s.
Techno sits, Phil slides in after him, Wilbur is moving into the row behind them.
Phil and Techno are already reaching for eye masks, while Wilbur is digging through his carry on for his earbuds.
Earbuds in hand, Wil sits, he instinctively turns to smirk at Tommy, knowing how annoyed he’d be at not getting the window seat
When he realizes:
Tommy is not getting into the seat next to him, which means,
Tommy could be stuck in an airport terminal, lost,
Tommy could be in a cheesy airport gift shop, forgotten,
Tommy could have fallen out of the plane while they were boarding-
Where could he be? Phil had been keeping an eye on them all, right? Oh god, did they leave him in the bathroom? Where the hell is Tommy?
He reaches for Phil’s shoulder, shaking the already half-asleep man.
“Wha- Wil what the fuck, it’s four o’clock in the morning go to -”
“Where is Tommy?”
That shut up Phil’s complaining pretty quickly.
Cue frantic discussion between the three of them as to when they last saw him, Phil looking around frantically, until he sees a tuft of blond hair towards the back of the plane.
Phil is almost relieved, until the blond turns and Phil sees his purple hoodie and oh christ that is not Tommy how long has that not been Tommy -
And then, what feels like mere seconds later to Wil’s exhaustion-addled mind, the plane takes off
Without Tommy.
Little do they know, Tommy is asleep at home, snuggled up with his stuffed cow, dreaming of whatever the fuck he dreams of, oblivious to the situation his family has put him in.
Later, Tommy is waking up at a reasonable 9am on a Saturday to a strangely quiet, albeit messy, house.
Everyone's suitcases are gone, Tommy is incredibly confused, and in all of his ~14 year old genius he decides that they've simply vanished into thin air. Obviously. Which is fine, because they were all bitches anyways (especially Wilbur, honestly, fuck that guy, amiright)
SO he spends the day doing shit he should not be doing, touching Wilbur's guitar and Techno's fencing equipment and Phil's prized miniature model of an underwater sea temple.
He’s fine, really, he’s pretty sure he’s not even going to miss them that much.
Meanwhile, the rest of his family is frantically trying to get back to Tommy, Wilbur especially, how the hell could they have just ditched him, Phil is a bad father, oh god, oh no, oh god- (he and Tommy probably also had some stupid fight he’d currently beating himself up over)
It's christmas, flights are booked, Phil is going full Karen on some poor ticket clerk, and then Wilbur bumps into a group of rather interesting people who are traveling by bus (IE Jack, Niki and Fundy), headed towards where SBI lives, so naturally Wilbur decides to hitch a ride with them
There is only room for one, so Phil is like "we'll keep trying to get a flight, you get back to Tommy"
And Wilbur goes off on his adventure with his new friends
Back in SBI's neighborhood, a strange string of robberies have been occuring
No one sees the perpetrator enter or exit, almost as though they're teleporting in and out of the house.
Police are wary because the items being stolen are oddly random. They have no idea what these thieves are planning, most of the things they take aren’t even that valuable.
All they know about the thieves is that one is freakishly tall and the other is oddly short
So, while our dear Tommy is home alone (and without a smartphone, this is the 90s) he hears a noise at the back of the house.
He's kinda dumb, sure, but he's seen the papers, he knows his area has been targeted by burglars
So naturally, he looks for the source of the sound.
Cue a very tall masked figure (halfway climbing through an expertly picked window), seeing Tommy and immediately diving back out of said window and high tailing it away.
Tommy decides that since his family is gone and he is now, officially, the biggest man in the house, it is his job to keep their residence safe.
He sets up the fake dinner party and spends probably too long talking to the cardboard cut out of the queen he put in the window.
The burglars lay off, but the next night they tried again, only this time Tommy was waiting for them.
Tall bitch steps on an ornament under the window and the guy is once again running for the hills, Tommy is cackling, these guys are stupid.
Tommy, in all his great wisdom, decides that this means war.
So he booby traps his entire fucking house.
To the nines.
And then waits.
(Wilbur has become quite good friends with the bus people, Techno and Phil are chilling in a hotel waiting for a flight)
That night, he hears two voices coming from the back door, and instead of just the one really tall figure, he sees a shorter guy too
Cue booby trap chase sequence
Short thief keeps making incredibly graphic threats while tall thief is just trying to steal shit (eventually his goal is just to get out of this, this kid is fucking insane)
Short thief is getting more murderous by the second.
(Also, both of their faces are completely covered, Tall Thief with a mask and sunglasses and Short Thief with a ski mask)
They fight all night, tall guy gets hit with all of the booby traps because short guy triggers them and then runs.
Tommy finally has them caught.
He pulls off their masks scooby doo style and has a moment of "what the fuck, you are children, hi, why are you robbing me"
Short Thief is pissed, Tall Thief is terrified and Tommy has so many questions.
Tall Guy says “fuck it, so we're very poor and we ran away from an orphanage and we've been stealing to survive, also I am Ranboo and this is Tubbo”
and Tubbo is pissed that Ranboo told annoying blonde dude anything, but they're kinda stuck now
Ranboo is certain Crazy Guy is gonna call the cops, Tubbo is ready to bite things, the tension is real.
However Tommy's gears are turning and he's looking at these kids that he just has a lot of fun torturing and he makes a decision.
These kids are freezing, the only thing the tried to take was a radio and food.
So he offers an olive branch.
He had a ton of fun tormenting them, but it’s Christmas and his family vanished into thin air and he’d rather not decorate the christmas tree alone.
(At this point, Tommy’s ready to admit that he maybe misses his family, A little bit. Sort of.)
So they stay. Ranboo tries to make them dinner but after the fourth mention of putting spaghetti in ham honestly ranboo its ham please put the spaghetti away-
The trio put up and decorated the Craft’s tree, they wrap things they found around the house to give to one another, they watch cheesy movies, Tommy likes these guys, and they like him when he’s not trying to kill them.
The house is kinda trashed, and now that they know Crazy Blonde Guy is actually nice, the young thieves feel kind of guilty (read: Ranboo feels guilty and is bothering Tubbo about it), so they all help clean up the disaster they made.
The night’s been disastrous, but it’s been a bonding experience to say the least. Tubbo and Ranboo have full stomachs for the first time in a long time, and Tommy’s happy he’s not alone.
When Wilbur gets home on christmas morning, it’s to a strangely tidy house (especially considering that Tommy had been alone and that kid is a walking tornado)
Wil is calling Tommy's name, running up to his room, but Tommy isn't in his bed.
He starts running around frantically looking for Tommy when he hears shuffling from Phil's room.
Where he finds three teenagers, two of which he does not recognize, one of whom is covered in bruises(?), all sleeping on Phil's massively large double king bed
(they wouldn't all fit on Tommy's, and naturally they couldn’t all sleep alone; the windows are broken and its cold Tubbo cmon)
Wilbur lets out a sigh of relief, pulls the covers over the boys and resigns himself to asking about it when they wake up. Niki, Jack and Fundy are in the living room, because they’re all besties now and they’re gonna spend Christmas together.
Phil and Techno get home shortly after Wilbur, they make sure Tommy is okay and they meet the boys’ new friends.
When the boys wake up they'll explain what happened (and the broken window), the guest room will become a bedroom and the robberies on their street stop suddenly. Strange.
The End