Hey, I need some help with my gender. So, I'm a female biologically, I'm sexually attracted to only women. Im comfortable either she/her or they/them pronouns. Thing is, i dont care about my genitals, but I hate being feminine. I'm not trans, but I love to look like a guy, but I'm totally fine with my female genitals??
First, try not to assign gender to your body, even if you are fine with it. I’ll assume you are a perisex (non-intersex) person who was assigned female at birth (AFAB) being cissexist, but keep in mind the assumptions of assigned female = “biologically female” and vagina = “female genitals” hurt anyone who isn’t cis and perisex, be it by making excuses to misgender people or by treating people as anomalies to be corrected because the way they are born is deemed wrong by society.
Next thing is, you may be a cis woman even if you hate femininity, wear clothes usually sold at the “men’s section” and don’t mind they/them pronouns. Your identity is your own, and if you decide non-cis labels don’t fit you, that’s ok too. You may want to look up “gender non-conforming”.
But, I’ll assume that, since you came here wanting help with your gender, you aren’t looking for reassurance that you can still be cis, but rather for labels that might fit you if you are not.
Nongender: A gender that is most accurately described by what it isn’t, not by what it is.(As in, you could say you are nonboy and nonfeminine or something.)Nonpuer or Nonvir: Someone who is not male at all in any way, shape, or form, but feels a strong connection to masculinity within their gender. Nonpuer is the young form and Nonvir is the older form, as, similarly to the term "enby", many find "boy" (puer means boy in Latin) infantilizing.Pomogender: A gender where one denies or does not fit any labels for any particular gender. For example, someone who knows they're not cis, but is not interested, or can't specify what their gender(s) are.
Proxvir: Masculine gender similar to boy, but on a separate plane and off to itself.Xirl: Someone who identifies in some way as a nonbinary girl or nonbinary girl-adjacent. Someone who identifies with some part of woman/girlhood but who wants a more nonbinary and neutral sounding word because they aren’t entirely girls or don't want to be associated with the typical ideas brought up by the word “girl.”
Libramasculine: A gender identity that is mostly agender, but has a connection to masculinity. Based on the zodiac sign Libra.
Ambonec: Gender identity in which one identifies as a combination of male and female, but also identifies as neither gender.
Antigender or Ungender: A gender identity that can only be understood as the opposite of another gender – for example, an antiboy would be the opposite of male.
Mingender: Umbrella term for all genders masculine in nature. Also a term to refer to a gender that isn't fully defined but definitely masculine, or a gender in which masculinity is its defining feature (but the gender is not binary male). May simply be used as "min", ie. "my gender is min".
Dubgender: Means that you cannot trust that an existing gender identity label will fit you perfectly well, which means that, despite being a good label, a dubboy doesn’t really trust that the label of “boy” will be entirely accurate, and a dubgirl is a little iffy about the label of “girl” as well.
Demigender: A gender identity that feels partially like one gender and (maybe) partially like some other (usually non-identified nonbinary) gender. So, for instance, someone can be a demiboy, and feel partially like a boy but partially not.The demi label may be placed in front of any other gender label. It is most frequently seen as demigirl or demiboy, but can also be used with nonbinary genders and can be used with more than two genders (someone can be demigirl, demiboy, and deminonbinary).
Those are some that /could/ fit, but I can’t really be much specific because a lot of the things you said could be interpreted as several things. For instance:
Bottom dysphoria (feeling the need to change genitalia), or even physical dysphoria (feeling the need to change something in your body to be gendered differently) in general isn’t really necessary to not be cis; I know people who don’t feel dysphoric but transition to be able to be recognized as their gender more easily, or that never felt bad about their body but just felt better upon transitioning.Also, a lot of nonbinary people don’t feel dysphoria because there’s no way they could change their body to something that would reflect their gender.
A lot of people can like dressing masculine: that could mean you have a masculine gender, but you can also be a girl or have no gender or have a gender that’s not male or female at all and like to dress masculine. It may also be a way to express you are non-cis in general if you are usually assumed to be a girl since childhood, even if your gender is close to girl (xirl, juxera, demigirl).
It’s possible to be comfortable with your assigned pronouns (I’m going to assume she/her) and not be cis; some people are ok with any pronoun, some are just used to those and see no need to correct people.
There’s a lot you may want to think about, but if you want further help with your gender, I recommend thinking about the following issues (as an AFAB nonbinary person myself):
Are you okay with being referred to as a girl, woman, and maybe associated titles (queen, princess, madam, sister, etc.)?
Would you feel better/would it feel right if people referred to you as a boy, man, male, and maybe associated titles (king, prince, mister, brother, dude, etc.)?
What if people referred to you only with words without gender association?
Is your dislike of feminine things because you don’t want to be associated with girls? Or is it just a personal preference, maybe because you don’t think pink and tight clothes look nice on you?
Is your preference of masculine things related to wanting to being associated with boys? Or is it just a personal preference, maybe because the clothes are more comfortable or look nicer?
Is your preference for all of those things fluid?
Do you think those things mentioned above may be influenced by neurodivergence, race or other factor? If yes, do you think these factors make your gender different from those who don’t have the same experiences as you?
Excluding genitalia (which is rarely visible anyways), would you feel better with another kind of body, regardless of what you feel with the current one?
~ Tath