every now and then i see those "tell them how you feel bc you only have this life" and i gotta say i agree bc I've done it multiple times, i have no fear in telling people about my feelings and being honest if i miss them in my life because yes people deserve to know people deserve love and being cared for.
but THEN i have this friend which i really like having in my life even tho we stayed the last year apart from each other because i was an idiot to them, and there's so much i want to say to him but i know he wouldn't give a fuck and while i like to being honest i know when could it be a bad choice to express it. so i simply keep tons of feelings locked and everytime i talk to him i fear I'll explode bc im tired of holding myself i wish i could just SAY IT and let him know that he's such an amazing friend and i that i just wanted to see him and hug him and being around him but i can't. i can't. bc things would still be the same. i just need to accept that people change, i changed, HE changed. he's indifferent to me now, nd our friendship kinda died. i tried many things to make us close again but he doesn't care abt it.
