#dungeonsndramas

[dungeons-n-dramas]

Wizard players be like #2

DM: The artefact you're holding is showing you the direction to the next secret temple, but of course you don't know its exact location—

Wizard: We do, actually.

DM: No you don't. It only shows you the DIRECTION. Like a compass.

Wizard: *takes out the realm map* Here. If we draw a straight line in the direction it's showing, and if we travel off the route a little, and then draw another straight line according to the artefact, the intersection of the two lines will tell us exactly where the temple is located.

DM: ... I hate you so much, take an inspiration.

[dungeons-n-dramas]

Here’s the homebrew training system for D&D 5e that we’re using in our campaign. Some content may differ from PHB since I use my own worldbuilding & lore. Feel free to share your suggestions!

Credits:

This reddit post that have been altered & elaborated by me, the DM.

Kleoite for the lovely illustration on the last page. ❤

[dungeons-n-dramas]

Wizard players be like

DM: Okay make your attack.

Player: *takes out miter ruler, puts it on checkerboard*

DM: What the fuck is that for?

Player: To arrange the perfect angle.

DM: ...

Player: And it's easier to calculate the range...

[dungeons-n-dramas]

Wizard players be like #3

DM: *finally explains the plot with a very complex lore that she's been working on for a week, after party completes a huge chapter of the campaign.*

Wizard: ...

DM: .

Wizard: ...

DM: .

Wizard: A-

DM: Don't you fucking dare pointing out anymore plot hole or you're out.

[dungeons-n-dramas]

How to play: Knowledge cleric

Party visited a trinket shop containing many useless magic items. The shopkeeper refused to explain what the items do, in order to be able to sell them.

Cleric: I cast Identify on all of the items.

DM: You don't have that many spell slots-

Cleric: I cast them as ritual.

DM: ... You can certainly try?

---

Cleric: Listen here. If you don't want to see me in your shop for the next 2 hours and 50 minutes, tell me what these items do right now.

Shopkeeper: *considers* ... No?

*2 hours 50 minutes later*

DM: You just spent two hours and fifty minutes identifying all the magic items in the shop... and you bought a simple rock.

Cleric: Yes.

DM: ??? Then what was the point?

Cleric: I like knowing things.

[dungeons-n-dramas]

That's why a DM would make a good kindergarden teacher

The party was walking through a bazaar with all kinds of sea food, and the rogue's fingers were itching.

Rogue: I want to steal an octopus.

Cleric: Just WHEN WILL YOU STOP.

DM: You know the rules, roll a sleight of hand.

Rogue: *succeeds the roll* Now, I want to smash it to cleric's face.

DM: Oh, here we go... Make an attack roll against cleric's AC?

Cleric: BUT-

Rogue: *nat 20*

DM: You threw it so well that its tentacles are entangled around cleric's head. Sorry cleric, but it's all over your face and it's stuck.

While the rogue was laughing her ass off, cleric miserably struggled to get rid of the wet, stinky sea product. With the help of wizard, they finally managed to get it off.

Wizard: Can we PLEASE move on with the plot...

DM: Yeah, the crisis is over. What do you do next?

Cleric: I throw the octopus back at rogue's face.

DM & Wizard: *muffled screaming*

[dungeons-n-dramas]

More custom dice by our dice maker friend! This set is a gift for the wizard. ✨ If you’re interested in his work, check out his other sets for sale on Etsy!

[dungeons-n-dramas]

DnD Shorts #3

This is the story of how we stopped the session for 3 hours to prevent two players from killing each other's characters.

The party was heading to a cursed valley so, they decided to take a long rest to spend the night before they go.

The Party: Let's order some food and talk to the other adventurers if they know anything.

Bard: I want to seduce the inn keeper.

DM: Uhm, she has a wedding ring on her finger.

Bard: I want to seduce the inn keeper.

DM: Uhm...okay. First role play, then charisma check.

Bard: *tells a heroic story, flirts, then rolls 24*

Bard slept with the inn keeper and in the morning, he took her wedding ring which she put on the nightstand. He returned to the inn.

DM: The inn keeper's husband is behind the counter, slicing meat. Your friends are having breakfast.

Bard: I approach to the husband, put the ring on the counter in front of him with a smirk on my face.

DM: ... He freaks out with anger. He comes to face you.

Bard: I stab him with my sword.

The Party:

DM:

The Party:

DM: Make an attack roll.

Bard: *rolls 19*

DM: You killed the husband by piercing his chest with your sword...

Fighter: Okay enough I attack the bard.