trying on a metaphor
todays bird
oozey mess
Claire Keane
occasionally subtle
Cosimo Galluzzi
wallacepolsom
will byers stan first human second
DEAR READER
KIROKAZE
Origami Around
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
ellievsbear
JBB: An Artblog!
d e v o n
@theartofmadeline
⁂
shark vs the universe
styofa doing anything
Kiana Khansmith
seen from Qatar
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from India
seen from Netherlands
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Argentina
seen from United States
@dungeons-n-dramas
Wizard players be like #3
DM: *finally explains the plot with a very complex lore that she's been working on for a week, after party completes a huge chapter of the campaign.*
Wizard: ...
DM: .
Wizard: ...
DM: .
Wizard: A-
DM: Don't you fucking dare pointing out anymore plot hole or you're out.
More custom dice by our dice maker friend! This set is a gift for the wizard. ✨ If you’re interested in his work, check out his other sets for sale on Etsy!
That's why a DM would make a good kindergarden teacher
The party was walking through a bazaar with all kinds of sea food, and the rogue's fingers were itching.
Rogue: I want to steal an octopus.
Cleric: Just WHEN WILL YOU STOP.
DM: You know the rules, roll a sleight of hand.
Rogue: *succeeds the roll* Now, I want to smash it to cleric's face.
DM: Oh, here we go... Make an attack roll against cleric's AC?
Cleric: BUT-
Rogue: *nat 20*
DM: You threw it so well that its tentacles are entangled around cleric's head. Sorry cleric, but it's all over your face and it's stuck.
While the rogue was laughing her ass off, cleric miserably struggled to get rid of the wet, stinky sea product. With the help of wizard, they finally managed to get it off.
Wizard: Can we PLEASE move on with the plot...
DM: Yeah, the crisis is over. What do you do next?
Cleric: I throw the octopus back at rogue's face.
DM & Wizard: *muffled screaming*
Here’s the homebrew training system for D&D 5e that we’re using in our campaign. Some content may differ from PHB since I use my own worldbuilding & lore. Feel free to share your suggestions!
Credits:
This reddit post that have been altered & elaborated by me, the DM.
Kleoite for the lovely illustration on the last page. ❤
How to play: Wizard without spell slots
Bard: *enters the building to knock down the BBEG’s engineer*
Cleric: *enters the building to help bard and to take cover*
Rogue: *also enters the building so that cleric can heal her*
DM: Alright, since wizard is the only one who's outside, the BBEG runs towards him to make two claw att-
Wizard: Can I use my reaction?
DM: Like... Shield? I thought you were out of spell slo-
Wizard: I want to scream as it approaches me.
DM: !? You want to scream as the 20ft tall clockwork monster runs towards you?
Wizard: Yes.
DM: ... Okay. Describe your scream.
Wizard: *https://youtu.be/PwOYuyhPiZY*
When party is good but dice are not
The rogue and the ranger were on a stealth mission to rescue the ranger's brother who was held prisoner by some gnomes. They tracked down the gnome gang and finally found their campsite at night.
DM: You can see the brother along with the other prisoners. All chained by their wrists.
Rogue and Ranger: *make an extremely complicated plan which takes them 2 hours irl, for rescuing the prisoners silently & without having to hurt anyone at all*
DM: Okay, you are all set. Roll a stealth check.
Rogue: *rolls too low to put the plan into action, but high enough to somehow stay in stealth*
DM: So your super-complex plan has failed. You need to improvise immediately or the gnomes will notice you!
*later*
DM: You managed to save the brother...
Rogue and Ranger: Hurray! *highfive*
DM: ...by only burning all the tents, causing injuries on the prisoners... and killing the entire gnome gang.
GIVE ME BACK MY MILKSHAEK
(yes dm allowed to have milkshakes)
cleric took her milkshaek.
Custom dice!
A friend started making dice at home. He already sold his first set recently! We admire his work a lot~
This custom dice set was made by him as a gift to the DM. ❤
Wizard players be like #2
DM: The artefact you're holding is showing you the direction to the next secret temple, but of course you don't know its exact location—
Wizard: We do, actually.
DM: No you don't. It only shows you the DIRECTION. Like a compass.
Wizard: *takes out the realm map* Here. If we draw a straight line in the direction it's showing, and if we travel off the route a little, and then draw another straight line according to the artefact, the intersection of the two lines will tell us exactly where the temple is located.
DM: ... I hate you so much, take an inspiration.
DnD Shorts #6
The rogue and the lawful good cleric went into an exotic companion shop. The only reason cleric went in was to keep an eye on the rogue. While they were looking around, a smol black cat climbed on his shoe. Cleric loved it so much but unfortunately, it had hell of a fancy price. At that moment he saw the smirk on the rogue's face.
Rogue: Wanna steal it? I could distract the shopkeeper for you.
Cleric: This IS WRONG.
Cat: *mlem*
Cleric: Oh no...
DM: Wisdom Save, please.
Cleric: Uuuhhhh... *rolls a big NAT 1*
DM: You decided that stealing the cat actually might not be a bad idea.
Cleric: OH GOD.
After stealing the cat, he was immediately cursed by his deity. For an entire week he forgot very basic actions like how to chew, swallow, blink, grab things, etc. for short period of times.
The biggest scandal was for the only other guy of the party, who had to hold the cleric's dick for him when he forgot how to pee.
Why you should think twice when you ask for homebrew traits.
As a DM who encourages her players to come up with interesting homebrew character concepts, I didn't hesitate to agree when my player asked if her wizard's Mage Hand could have a little personality of itself. Now, it is one of my favourite NPCs to tease with players.
Mage Hand: *pops up out of control, ruins the wizard’s perfectly shaped mustache and vanishes*
Mage Hand: *slaps ass to encourage people*
Mage Hand: *steals booze from taverns because likes alcohol, but can’t drink, so just carries the bottle around*
Mage Hand: *falls in love with the wizard PC’s superior, grows a secret relationship with her and eventually things go sexual-*
Player: OK tell me how do I get rid of this spectral motherfucker.
Trust issues...
The mischief rogue comes with two cups of chocolate milkshake while taking a sip from one of them.
Rogue: *offers the untouched milkshake to the cleric*
Cleric: I’ll take the other one.
Meet: Zulf the Wizard
Zulfur Gaylord | 26 | Male | Human | Lawful Good
The problem-solver. A real panic type of guy but has brains to step in the right moment of crisis.
His Mage Hand -name’s Fiddle- was possessed by the soul of a dead wizard. He has his own mind and opinions but obeys the caster’s commands... Most of the time.
He has a snake as his Arcane Focus.
He is a member of Ash Seals, which is basically the medieval police force of the realm but includes casters only.
Artwork & Character by Kleoite
Lore: The Calendar
The Balance has to be maintained and last for eternity. As a devotion, each year consists of a Cycle of Rise and a Cycle of Fall.
Cycles start and end with Cella, The Life or Volac, The Death just like The Existence started with them. Each month between is dedicated to a god from The First Pantheon of Chaos and named after their deities. Only White of Life and Black of Death last for two months in a row, indicating the shift between the cycles.
Each month lasts for three weeks, each of the three is also dedicated to a minor god from The Second Pantheon of Chaos.
How to play: Knowledge cleric
Party visited a trinket shop containing many useless magic items. The shopkeeper refused to explain what the items do, in order to be able to sell them.
Cleric: I cast Identify on all of the items.
DM: You don't have that many spell slots-
Cleric: I cast them as ritual.
DM: ... You can certainly try?
---
Cleric: Listen here. If you don't want to see me in your shop for the next 2 hours and 50 minutes, tell me what these items do right now.
Shopkeeper: *considers* ... No?
*2 hours 50 minutes later*
DM: You just spent two hours and fifty minutes identifying all the magic items in the shop... and you bought a simple rock.
Cleric: Yes.
DM: ??? Then what was the point?
Cleric: I like knowing things.
Said the worried player
DM: I really hope you all like this next session, because I had lots of fun preparing it.
Player: I can see why we absolutely won't be having fun then.
How to play: Bard
The party was trying to secretly infiltrate a small town under siege. They've melted down a small gap on the wall surrounding the town just enough for them to pass.
Wizard: Guys, I'm closing the gap with Minor Illu-
Cleric: I found some gardening tools in the shed.
Bard: Grab them all and lets cover this shit up.
*LATER*
Bard: Voilà.
DM: *sighs* You know the stack you morons did there with those gardening tools looks so wobbly and ridiculous and also probably suspicious because you rolled low on sleight of hand, right?
Bard: Ok. You know this is called modern arts, right?
