#dunzoprintad

[better-telugu-copy]

Dunzo Daily- Adarsh Bharateeya - some suggestions to make the copy better

Original Text - My suggestion- Why? 

[better-telugu-copy]

Dunzo telugu print ad- some suggestions

Dunzo is known for their copywriting and the amount of effort they put into their ads. Unfortunately and as guessed, that expertise is just limited to English and Hindi. When it came to localization, they did seem to have taken the Google Translate route. 

I have 2 pieces of feedback on their copy 

First one

In the sentence, “ఇప్పుడు ఇంక ఫ్రిడ్జ్ తో ఉపయోగం ఏముంది” , instead of “ఉపయోగం” they should have used the word “పని”. 

“ఇప్పుడు ఇంక ఫ్రిడ్జ్ తో  పని ఏముంది” . 

Other word suggestion to replace ఉపయోగం is అవసరం . 

“ఇప్పుడు ఇంక ఫ్రిడ్జ్  అవసరం ఏముంది” 

Second One

In both the places above, they used the phrase “ విస్తృత శ్రేణి “ which is the right word to convey the meaning “wide range” , but that phrase really doesn’t go well with rest of the words in the sentences 

విస్తృత శ్రేణి వస్తువులపై అదనపు తగ్గింపు పొందండి ( Translates to : Get additional discounts on a wide range of items)

విస్తృత శ్రేణి కేటగిరీల నుంచి ఎన్నుకోండి( Translates to : Choose from a wide range of categories). 

The correct approach would be to rephrase the sentences as 

లక్షల కొద్దీ వస్తువులపై అదనపు తగ్గింపు పొందండి (Translates to :Get extra discount on lakhs  of items, it quantifies the wide range, i am not sure if they will be Ok with quantification of items , but it is much more readable and pleasing) . Also the word “వస్తువు” translates to object, rather they should be using “product” which translates to “ఉత్పత్తి”  . So final suggested one looks like “లక్షల కొద్దీ ఉత్పత్తులపై అదనపు తగ్గింపు పొందండి”

వందల కొద్దీ కేటగిరీల నుంచి ఎన్నుకోండి ( Translates to :Choose from hundreds of categories, it quantifies the wide range, i am not sure if they will be Ok with quantification of categories, but it is much more readable and pleasing)