#eb 255

[bleakcreek]

“neither of us exist in this world of entertainment as our own entity” 🥺

[ladycynthiana]

"People who struggle with motivation are motivated." -Rhett McLaughlin

[ultimatenomi]

ok, Ear Biscuits this is a long rambly post so I’ll put it under a cut

ok, so I feel like I need to precursor this with the complete acknowledgement that so far I have heavily identified with the way Link presents- with what I have heard from him publicly, and the way he thinks/feels, the things that motivate him. So it is no great surprise that I will often default to his ‘side’ in a discussion, purely because my brain works in a similar way to his.

I do not hate Rhett, I do not dislike Rhett- and I don’t think he is coming from a bad place- he just thinks differently and his motivations and behaviors are different as a result- and that’s fine.

imma copy over some of my tweets from when I was listening on the bus (bold for emphasis):

I’m finding #EarBiscuits interesting to listen to- it feels like they’re on the same page but one is on the lines and one is between the lines- so super close to understanding each other

I feel like I understand what Rhett is saying- but I also know that everything Link is saying is like my brain speaking through his mouth- they get to the same place, just take different routes- or use a different equation What Link is saying right now reminds me of my own junk- it’s a hair trigger I didn’t know I had until a few years ago- I don’t like other people telling me about me- or more to the point, correcting me on what I know about myself- whether good or bad

and then someone else replied to me: Don’t you think they’re both being competitive about the same point of view being articulate in slightly different ways? Like they can’t see the woods for the the trees? To me, i feel like there’s a difference between a discussion and competition- like they’re just trying to understand each other, not trying to like... one up each other?

So, I felt like this whole conversation sort of stemmed from just like a miscommunication in how they see the world- Link had it right when he said they were on the same page but seeing it through a different lens.

Was it slightly frustrating to listen to, having the benefit of not being personally involved with the conversation? yes- but I have to remind myself that I am an observer with the luxury of not being one of the people being discussed- the stakes are low for me, and because I am removed from the discussion in that way I am able to hear better what they are trying to say to each other.

I did fib a little on my twitter in that- it does feel (to me) like Rhett was trying to ‘win’ the conversation- which again, hearing how he views the world and what drives him, makes perfect sense- whereas it felt like Link was just getting frustrated at not being understood, and then being challenged to articulate things he didn’t want to articulate.

Again, this is just how I interpreted it- audio only.

I’d love to discuss it more with someone

[rhinkipoo]

EB 255

Okay. So, overall? I think Rhett has a hard time accepting (and maybe believing) that they way he and Link operate via motivation or competition is fundamentally different. I wish Rhett could just let things be, and to stop putting words in Link’s mouth. 

It’s okay that he and Link think differently. Clearly it’s worked so far! 

Rhett’s worried about getting his equal share, while Link is making sure he can keep up. Two very different ways of viewing the world. Based on what we know about their childhoods and upbringings, I can’t say I’m surprised. 

Ramblings are below the cut...

Okay, right off the bat, Rhett feels really preemptively defensive. Full disclosure, I have not listened to the week prior either. 

Splitting up responsibilities evenly to hold accountability isn’t competitive in nature. Is Rhett suggesting this is territorial or something and conflating the two?

Rhett really thinks being creative is rooted in competition? That’s really interesting and gives more insight into his personality. 

My gut reaction right now is that Rhett’s competition is rooted in insecurity and inferiority. 

Rhett’s examples aren’t accurate. Editing a video to make sure they get equal jokes in? That’s just being a good partner? Like? I’m confused on his definition of “competition.”

This example of performances where one might have an off night and the other picks up the slack? Again, that’s not competition, that’s being a good partner.

OH MY GOD RHETT LET LINK SPEAK.

What world is Rhett living in when suits he can choose from is a competition with Link? The fuck?

So far, everything Rhett’s presenting as a competition Link debunks with being a good partner. 

Rhett took Link’s “I look at things through a non-competitive lens” as “you’re judging me for being superficial.” Good grief. 

GOOD LINK. CALL RHETT OUT ON HIS DEFINITION BECAUSE IT’S INACCURATE.

The bit about Link getting a one-off character? And Rhett thinking “what about me?” Oooooof. Not a good look. I get wanting to keep things as close to 50-50 as possible, but that attitude could absolutely compromise the project your working on. It screams of selfishness and insecurity and comes off as whining. ...Even if it’s better for Link to play a part (or two), Rhett couldn’t handle that. He’d need to take one of them. This is frustrating. 

I don’t know if Rhett understands how supportive partnerships work? Like, as long as things ultimately are 50-50 in the long run, that’s all that should matter. If it’s 40-60 one day, and then 65-35 the next? That’s okay. 

“We don’t have the same drive because we don’t have the same chemical make-up.” YES EXACTLY LINK. 

Shut up, Rhett. Let him talk. Good grief. 

Of course everyone has competitive at a fundamental level. Even if it’s with yourself. That’s not something new. But the way we each define it is important and personal, so trying to define it for someone else isn’t a good look. 

I think it comes down to Link having more humility than Rhett. 

“Everyone wants to be important.” I’m not sure that’s the best way to say this, Rhett. It’s too general. 

I wonder if conversation was one that needed to happen at all? Yes, it feels intimate, but it also feels unnecessary?

Comparison vs. competition. Yes!

I think a lot of Rhett’s “what ifs” would never happen? 

I LOVE Link’s commentary on the Song Biscuits story. He wanted to write the verses together with Rhett and their guest, where as Rhett wanted to write the best thing he could for himself too keep up. 

Can we retire the phrases “personal advocate” and “advocate for yourself”?

Rhett really cares about how others perceive him. It’s nothing new, but it’s glaringly obvious here. 

Trying not to screw up vs. Trying to win

That’s a core difference between the two. 

Claiming to not be competitive or not be as passionate as someone else doesn’t mean they are unable or unwilling to admit it. That’s such a conceited way of thinking. Get your head out of your ass, dude. Our brains are different. UGH. (Sorry)

Motivated might be a better word for how Rhett’s feeling about all of this. 

[soho-x]

Alright, y’all. I’m ready to be emotionally devastated by the end of this.

[hitmewithit-neal]

“We’ve both got equally good hearts” 😭😭

[recsineffect]

How to Win Friends and Influence People (Illustrated): Dale Carnegie's all time International Best Selling Self-Help Books Ever Published.

Shared via Kindle. Description: ♥♥How to Win Friends and Influence People♥♥ is one of the best selling self-help books ever published. ♥How to Win Friends and Influence People♥ is a self-help book written by ★ Dale Carnegie★, published in 1936. Over 30 mill...

Rhett’s rec (and very much not Link’s rec) in episode 255 is a book he was reading at the time of recording the episode--How To Win Friends And Influence People.

🎶and isn’t it ironic...don’t you think?🎶

[ladycynthiana]

I actually really enjoyed the Ear Biscuit and what I heard was Rhett trying really hard to express what he felt was true and try to figure out what he was missing from Link. Yes, Rhett did most of the talking, but I didn't see him as the bad guy in the conversation... He was trying to understand Link and encourage Link to think positively about an aspect of himself that Link clearly does struggle with seeing positively. I think they came to a good conclusion. Rhett admits he wasn't entirely right about what he assumed was going on in Link's head and accepts that the lenses they view competition through are different. It just takes a while to get there!