I created a little Edge Fluff for @mellamew because she’s a great friend and it’s her birthday today! I hope you enjoy it mella, happy birthday!
Edge and Cat hc can be found here, and the pictures that go with said ficlet can be found here! all by @vividlylost who was also the beta reader for the ficlet <3
You were bored. Like, seriously bored. How anyone could be this bored was beyond you. All your friends were too far away to go out and do things normal people do, like gush over the latest chapter in that fanfic you all liked while at the mall, or rant about your newfound hatred of peaches while painting each other’s nails and watching cheesy movies. Yes, you saw right, peaches! They wronged you in that way they looked uncannily like a rear end. So naughty.
Sitting up in your bed to check the soul-sucking social sites you frequent and see nothing of note has occurred for quite a while, a feat you deem impressive. Suddenly your phone starts ringing across the room, so you just flop on the floor from the bed with a “oof!” and roll to it, picking the annoying contraption up and answering it.
“Human escort service, we service all manner of people be it human, monster, or former Captain of the Royal Guard.” You answer with a teasing lilt to your voice.
“I MUST HAVE THE WRONG---WAIT A MOMENT, IS THIS A JAPE? YOU ALMOST FOOLED ME, BUT I, THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS CANNOT HAVE THE WOOL PULLED OVER MY EYE SOCKETS SO EASILY!” Papyrus says in a slightly embarrassed and rushed tone. You were sure you were going to fool him this time.
“Ha, you got me Papyrus. Tis I, the short and bored human! Whatever have you called me for on this fine summer afternoon?”
Papyrus huffs over the phone and then clears his non-existent throat, which you have come to learn is an indicator he’s about to reveal something he deems very interesting. “I KNEW YOU WOULD BE BORED TODAY, AND AS SUCH HAVE CREATED AN OUTDOOR ACTIVITY I AM POSITIVE YOU WILL ENJOY. NOW, PLEASE DRESS IN CLOTHES YOU ARE COMFORTABLE IN BECOMING SLIGHTLY MESSY AND I SHALL BE AT YOUR DOOR IN TEN MINUTES SHARP. SEE YOU SOON, HUMAN!” He promptly hangs up and you’re left wondering what sort of shenanigans of terror he’s going to have you running through this time.
With ten minutes to become presentable, though, you’re rushing to slip on a pair of jeans and a tank top. Then you nearly trip over your shoes situated in the middle of the room, discarded there last night in a haze of sleepiness.
Fully clothed and with four minutes to compose yourself; easy-peasy. You dance over to the small bathroom and furiously brush those pearly whites while also brushing your hair, something you’ve perfected over the time you’ve known Papyrus.
With one-minute to spare you’re forced to just tie your hair up in a messy ponytail, as you dash into the main area looking any and everywhere for your purse. Under that side table? No. Maybe the kitchen counter has it? No. You spot it hanging on the coat rack for some reason just as there are three concise knocks on the door to your apartment, and you quickly snatch your purse up as you open the door.
“H-hey Pap! On time, just like you said you would be! Ready to go?” You say with perhaps too much enthusiasm, grabbing onto his arm, locking your door, and walking in a random direction.
“……DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHERE WE’RE GOING?” Papyrus says with a certain gruffness to his voice, knowing full well you do not know where you’re going.
You stop and think for a moment, then turn to him. “Nah. I was just walking in a direction and hoping it was the correct choice for our little adventure. Lead on, dear Captain!” You take his hand and raise it in the air, while passersby look at you oddly.
He shakes his head at you and groans, but brings you along, hand-holding and all, to the large park nearby. In the middle of the park is a very large picnic blanket, complete with a cute little basket that has...holes in it? All-in-all, it was an odd sight to see.
“So……you wanna tell me what this is all about? Not gonna run me through another one of your challenges you deem soothing for the soul, right?” You sass. Papyrus just rolls his eye lights and brings you closer to the container, urging you sit on the blanket with him. Ok, maybe not a crazy challenge? He would have been pulling equipment out willy nilly and strapping it on you.
“I Can Assure You That This Is Not Another One Of My ‘Crazy Challenges’ You Will Be Experiencing Today.” He announces not as loudly as before. “Now, For The Main Activity! Sit Here And Just Relax. You Shall Know Why Soon Enough, Nyeh Heh Heh.”
Papyrus turns and blocks off your view of the basket, and you trust him enough to just close your eyes and revel in the feel of the sunshine on your skin.
…What? You look at Papyrus, but he’s still turned away and you can’t see quite what he’s doing.
There it was again! That sounded exactly like a kitten. Papyrus turns around and there is a litter of kittens hanging from his arms, scrabbling for purchase amongst his turtleneck sleeves.
“Oh my Gosh! Lookit the cute little kitties! Is this what my edgy boy has been doing all day? Rounding up poor innocent kittens in his scheme for making his datemate feel better?” You gently scoop up one of the kittens into your arms, snuggling it against your face.
“I Did Not Do Anything Nefarious In Order to Lead These Fanged Felines Here! I Simply Asked A Human Veterinarian For A…Favor. Yes, That’s What It Is Called Here On The Surface,” is the response you hear from beyond the mass of fluff climbing his arms, making you giggle quietly into the kitten’s fur.
A couple kittens decide to abandon their quest at climbing Mount Papyrus to investigate what the other moving object in the vicinity is, and you were now sprawled on your back with kittens making a bed of your stomach, chest, and thighs. Suffice to say, you felt happier than you have in a long while, and Papyrus seemed to notice, if the slight nod to himself is any indication.
You doze off, a combination of the sun’s warmth and kitten purrs vibrating through your body lulling you to sleep.
Papyrus takes this opportunity to relax a bit and and let his “terrible” facade drop, observing the scene with fondness. He may have snuck a picture of you, but you’ll never know unless he sends it to you of course. He spends this time letting the kittens use him as a climbing tower, enjoying the ministrations of one specific feline, which was all black except for white patterns along their stomach that vaguely could be thought of as skeletal like patterns
“Feline, Do Not—” is what wakes you up after who knows how long, the sun a bit lower than before and some kittens having vacated your body in favor of the tower than is Papyrus. “—That Is Not A Proper Lounging Spot! Oh For…..Fine, You May Stay There Until I Say So, Devious Fanged Feline.”
The sight that greets you is too precious to bear. Papyrus is sitting cross legged on the blanket like before but with numerous kittens perched on various spots among his body. What takes the cake though, is the kitten that has found its home in the scarf bunched against his neck, dozing silently.
He seems content to stay as still as a statue, not noticing you are awake until you make a high pitched “awww”.
“DO NOT ‘AW’ ME! I AM NOT DOING ANYTHING CUTE! THESE FELINES HAVE SIMPLY BESTED ME IN COMBAT, AND SO I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO BOW TO THEIR WHIMS.” At the outburst most of the kittens scatter to your lap, the exception being the one settled in his scarf. It seems that little one has claimed Papyrus as his own.
Seeing this Papyrus blushes red and stammers; caught off guard once again.
You giggle and take a picture, hiding it from sight. “That one seems pretty attached to you. Wanna take him home?” She watched with interest, throwing some toys back and forth for the others to interact with. She was definitely revitalized after a day out and about with this little surprise.
Papyrus stilled even more, if that were even possible. “N-NO! SANS POSITIVELY DESPISES CATS WITH A BURNING PASSION. I AM AFRAID IT WOULD NEVER WORK OUT.” He glances down to the kitten sleeping in his scarf and gently picks it up, gaining a protesting meow in return. "LISTEN DATEMATE, I INSIST YOU TAKE THIS SMALL FELINE. I CAN NOT ALWAYS BE THERE, BUT THIS SMALL FANGED FELINE WILL MOST CERTAINLY GROW INTO A FEARSOME PROTECTOR FOR WHEN I CAN'T. I SHALL FILL OUT THE PAPERWORK FOR ITS ADOPTION." The kitten takes this moment to try and bite the hand that is holding it, but the dull fangs do nothing against his bone.
“SEE? THE FELINE IS ALREADY TRYING TO LEARN HOW TO FIGHT! PERHAPS I SHOULD GIVE IT A FEW POINTERS ON HOW TO PROPERLY LATCH ONTO AN ENEMY FOR THE BEST AMOUNT OF DAMAGE….” He ponders this for a moment, holding the kitten out to you to take.
You take your new kitten from him and hold it close, squinting up at him in the process. “No teaching the kitty to harass the neighbors. Final Decision.”
“YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY NO FUN. ‘DON’T BUILD TRAPS TO PROTECT MY APARTMENT PAPYRUS, DON’T IMPROVE ANY OF MY KITCHEN EQUIPMENT TO MAKE IT EVEN BETTER THAN BEFORE PAPYRUS.’ WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER?!” He gripes but relents, gathering the kittens and herding them into the basket they were in before, cleaning up the picnic area he set up before your arrival.
“COME DATEMATE, I SHALL ESCORT YOU HOME AND THEN GO OUT TO BUY ITEMS OUR—I MEAN YOUR NEW FELINE COULD POSSIBLY NEED.” With your kitten secured in your arms Papyrus squishes you close to his side, staying that close the entire way back to your apartment.
When you step up to your door and unlock it Papyrus turns you around and gives you a skeletal kiss to the forehead, the audible “MWUAH” inevitably following it. “I HOPE YOU ENJOYED OUR TIME TOGETHER TODAY, DATEMATE. IF YOU EVER NEED CHEERING UP AGAIN, KNOW I AM ALWAYS WILLING TO CRUSH THOSE PESKY NEGATIVE EMOTIONS FOR YOU. OR BRING YOU ANOTHER FELINE. YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY FELINES.” He walks off after that heart warming speech to gather the required supplies at the store and finalize the adoption of your new found friend, leaving you to snuggle your shared kitten with Papyrus. Looks like nothing can stay wrong for long when you’re around him.
