Actual Wednesday edition for once! There's been no tag game going round today, but I'm fucking starting one, so there.
Have a chunk of my current new wip, Whitechapel Ed/Miles, set after s04e04! transcript under the cut as usual~
No pressure tagging with an invite for art wip shares too if applicable; @silverview @canyouliftmeup @eemamminy-art @80aidy80 @wintersoulwitch @dangerliesbeforeyou & @fell-bullet 💚
Ed chewed his lip a moment, ordering his thoughts. "I have. A method of therapy often employed for those with debilitating phobias or mental illnesses such as post traumatic stress disorder or issues with anxiety." He forced himself to follow that line of thought instead of getting sucked into the memories again. "What exactly are you suggesting, Miles? Because I'm not sure I would want to entertain the idea of that paper mill all over again…"
"No, no! Nothing like that!" Miles' eyes lit up with that compelling fire of his, and Ed found himself captivated. "It's just. Well, okay I'm not gonna pussyfoot around it. That bastard Diggory had you trussed up like a turkey at Christmas. I saw the hardware he had you in with my own two eyes, and I've seen how jumpy you are whenever anyone mentions an arrest or has their cuffs out on the table. It's not like we can avoid the cuffs forever, seeing as how you work in a police station, so. Exposure therapy."
Ed went cold all over. His vision dimmed at the edges, pinpointing narrowly inwards until all he could see was the flash of scotch in his glass tinged red like the light at that hellish mill. His breath fluttered in his chest like a caged beast, and he could feel the press of steel fencing against his bare shoulders, cold and cold and—
"Hey now." Miles' hand squeezed his, and Ed came back to the present under its rough warmth. "It's okay. Shouldn't have said anything — forget I mentioned it."
"No!" Ed blurted out before he could think better of it. "No, I think— well. Let's face it, Miles. I basically had half a panic attack just at the very mention of what happened." He laughed ruefully, heart still going. Apparently a regular occurrence this evening. "I don't want— why don't you tell me your idea?"
"Only if you drink some more scotch first. You've gone white as a sheet." Miles squeezed his hand again then let it go, leaving Ed suddenly bereft of its warmth.
He did as he was told, swallowing down the last of the scotch and relishing the burn. Miles poured him another measure and topped up his own glass, then sat back in his seat.
"Okay, good. Right. So, all that being said: the idea."
Ed laced the fingers of both hands around his glass and took a few deep, steadying breaths in and out. The panic was still there, hovering in the background like a dreadful spectre of his weakness, but he willed himself to focus on Miles' voice. On the glass in his hands and the taste of scotch on his tongue.
"Go on."
"Now, don't go asking where I got these from, because I ain't telling, but—" Miles pulled something out from his pocket and set it on the table, "—there. Exposure therapy."
It was a pair of black leather cuffs, about three inches thick and with a brushed silver buckle and d-shaped ring fixed onto the leather, and Ed couldn't take his eyes off them. Off Miles' fingers, resting against the hardware.
"Now, just in case you get the wrong idea, I'm not about to sit here and suggest I tie you up and leave you or whatever you might be thinking. It's all about the little bits, apparently. Building up tolerance."
"Building up tolerance," Ed repeated, eyes still on the cuffs. He could almost feel Miles' fingers in the dark.
"Just a couple of minutes with one, at first. Take it off any time you need to. And I'd be right here with you the whole time."
It was like Miles couldn't stem the tide of his words now he'd found them, and something about the way he kept on talking, kept on reassuring, brought Ed back into the present with a rush of air.
"You're suggesting restraining me," he said slowly, quietly. "As a way to overcome this weakness of mine."
"Not even as far as that! Not at first, anyway. Just one cuff around your wrist, not attached to anything, nothing like that." Miles ran his finger across the edge of the curled pair of cuffs, and Ed nodded before he could second guess himself, swallowed sharply.
"Alright," he said, mouth incredibly dry. "What harm can it do?" He did not let his thoughts go down that line, just focused on watching Miles' fingers against the leather. On that memory in the darkness. He supposed it was therapy, of a kind. Not something he'd entertained the thought of since… well, since Morgan. One way to cut short any ideas of self-improvement, wasn't it?
"I'm not gonna answer that." Miles smiled and ducked his head to catch Ed's eye. "Had enough Dutch courage?"
"I fear even the rest of that bottle wouldn't be enough Dutch courage, Miles. But nonetheless, I will persevere."
"Alright. Okay, good."
Ed reached out and took both cuffs in one hand, feeling the weight of them. The supple leather was buttery soft and he could smell it just in his hand.
Title: we drown through the night
Series: Hold Back the Night, part 2
Fandom: Whitechapel
Ship: Ed/Miles, Joe/Miles
Tags: Explicit, Bondage, Masturbation, Nightmares, Eventual Ed/Joe/Miles, post s04e05
Summary: How was Ed supposed to face Miles after what they'd done? How was Miles supposed to let Buchan avoid him without doing something about it?
a/n: I hope u like miserable guilty wanking! >:3c Thank you as ever to @80aidy80 and @autisticwriterblog for the eternal cheerleading and excitement! 💚💚
There will be a short break in this series while i work on exchange assignments, but please rest assured there will be more to come!
Title: Carry on Breathing
Series: Hold Back the Night, pt1
Fandom: Whitechapel (TV)
Ship: Ed Buchan/Ray Miles
Tags: Mature, Pre-Slash, post S04e05, Bondage
Summary: After Ed's ordeal at the hands of Oliver Diggory, even Miles notices that not all is right with him. Perhaps uncharacteristically, he offers his own brand of help.
a/n: I don't actually remember writing this. Once the sprinto bot started rolling, I blacked out as the spirit of Ed/Miles possessed my mortal body again.
Thank you to my beloved partners in this Whitechapel Ship Madness, @80aidy80 and @autisticwriterblog for the cheerleading!! MWAH MWAH 💚
This is the first part of a planned out series for these two, which will likely include eventual Ed/Miles/Joe - for now, please read this with the assumption that Joe/Miles is also a thing (because it is in my mind i will not be swayed on this front i will die on this hill [with feeling] hahaha fuck)
Series and fic title taken from this song I Need to Carry on Breathing by blackcarburning, because it's so perfect for themmm
Ofc I should definitely be sleeping right now but instead it's Ed/Miles Hours in the dms with @80aidy80 again and GOD FUCKING BLESS!!!!
For the consideration of the masses: Miles helping Ed get over panic attacks relating to being tied up (this thought span entirely off @autisticwriterblog 's excellent Ed Whump Idea of him being pranked by being handcuffed by the others when napping at his desk)!!! Exposure therapy!!! Carefully managed by Miles!!!!! Who is excellent as we've seen at talking Joe down when he's having a moment, so it's very transferable to Ed!!!!!
man, it's really amazing how much it helps my productivity to have a fic plotted out in advance lmao - 3 sprints today for a total of 1520 words taking the wip to 4k, wheee
just started the final section which is Miles' POV - it's gonna be longer than the previous 3 sections, but i'm very excited to work on it more :DDD problem is i get going and then i don't wanna stop cos i'm in the middle of a juicy character interaction bit and oughhh....... miles and ed...... *fist clench* them......
[ ☂️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they crave touch or fear it ?
it seems to me that Ed leads a very lonely life - outside from his quiz nights, his book stuff and his outings with Mother, he doesn't seem to have much in the way of a friendship that would lean into touch, and i think it's prolly been this way for a long time now so i'm absolutely HUGELY on the train that he craves touch something rotten!!!
like, does anyone ever hug him?! NO. he's down there in his archive all on his own for the most part, then he goes home to his lonely home, still on his own... 😭😭😭 so yeah, he craves it like he craves affection, and i think he'd likely think himself a very sad and pathetic man for it, so he gets all up in his head but then Joe or Miles touch him and he just fucking melts, oughhh
[ 🌧️ ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a pain they refuse to heal from ?
well, yes absolutely - his guilt over those girls dying clearly takes its toll on him even through to s4 and after what happens to Morgan, i can't see him getting over it any time soon. i think also he wants to feel bad about it, he thinks he deserves the pain and the guilt, so he's also not so eager to try and heal from it either (thinking about his convo with Joe where he says Joe doesn't give him the answer he's looking for about this, knowing he'll have to learn live with it doesn't feel like healing either).
i do think in his rough way, Miles would help him start to get back on that path of healing, because he's just very pragmatic and experienced, and he knows that you can't let the job get in your head or it'll ruin you. i feel like that might be more helpful for him than Joe's frankness (not just saying this cos i'm on the EdMiles train something rotten I PROMISE LOL)
[ 🍃 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they feel like they belong ?
NO!!!!! ANGRYCRY EMOTE!!!!! 😭😭😭 AND THE REST OF THE TEAM BEING ARSEHOLES TO HIM DOESN'T HELP!!!!! i feel like there's times where he was beginning to feel like maybe he does belong, but then there's a comment from Mansell or Kent, or he remembers the shit with Riley and then it all comes crashing back down again and he's ashamed and embarrassed that he ever thought he could belong in the first place 😭😭😭😭
ofc Miles catches wind of this, especially after he starts to get more protective (and a bit possessive) of Ed and he puts paid to that straight away in that fucking gruff, sincere way of his (ough). he'd ALSO have a hard word with Joe i think at this point, just to bring it to his attention and to be like "listen, don't be harsh with him, I know, I know I've changed my tune but I'm being serious" and then after that, Joe continues to bring Ed into their investigations and gives him encouragement and just tries to build him up a bit.
and then they're all going home and he's working with Miles to just thoroughly and completely blow Ed's back out until he can't help but know he belongs, at least with them, and that's all that matters 🥰🥰
because it's been foreverrr and i miss doing them, so!
i'm not sure who's working on exchange things they can't share, so i'll just tag a few people BUT the spirit of my WIP Wednesdays is that they're for anyone! so please join in and tag me, and i shall duly come and circlejerk ur work :DDD
for my part, i'm hoping to get this posted in the next few days, but for now, please have a chunk of my Whitechapel wip - the sequel to Carry on Breathing, which is my Ed/Miles(/Joe) series~ full text below the cut as usual!
Miles saw Buchan's halt, frozen like a rabbit in headlights, hands midway through putting teabags into two mugs. "Did you?"
"Yeah. Were you hoping I'd forgotten?"
Buchan laughed, a short, sharp sound, and his shoulders curled in like he was making himself smaller. "I hadn't thought you'd forget. More that you might want to forget."
He spooned sugar into both mugs then filled them up with boiling water, resting a teaspoon across the top of one as he went to get milk from the fridge. He took longer than he needed to adding milk, looked like he was gathering himself, then put the milk away and turned to the table, both mugs in hand.
"Now why would I want that? It was my idea." Miles unscrewed the lid of the single malt, then topped off both teas as Buchan set them down.
"Yes, well, regrets are perfectly understandable in situations like this. I wouldn't want you to feel beholden to me." He wrapped both hands round his mug and stared into the steam, studiously ignoring Miles' gaze.
"Good job I don't then, isn't it." Miles tilted his head and watched Buchan. He hadn't shaved in a few days at least; he was looking skinny; he had bags under his eyes to rival Miles' own; and that divot between his eyebrows was deep enough to make him look almost gaunt. Troubled.
Understandable, really, considering everything that'd happened to the guy.
"You're talking bollocks, by the way." Miles took a sip of his tea, enjoying the too-hot scald of it underscored by the whisky. "I don't feel beholden to you, and I don't have any regrets. I think you're scared."
Buchan looked up at him then, sharp, eyes wide.
Miles ploughed on. "I think you're scared of being cuffed again, scared to have another panic attack in front of me. You don't want anyone to see it, I get it. But you ought to know, I didn't mention a thing to Joe about what we did, and not to anyone else either. It's no one else's business, what we do in here, behind closed doors." He jabbed at the table. "It's your business, and mine, and I want—"
Fuck, what did he want? Nothing he could say out loud, not to those scared blue eyes.
"I wanna help, that's all." Bit weak, but it'd do. And it was true. "Felt like it did help, at least a bit, so it'd be a shame to not carry on."
Ed's eyes were on him, and Miles watched over the rim of his mug as he took another drink.
"It did," Ed said, words so quiet they were barely vocal. "I think it did help. I just—" He swallowed and blew on his tea, both hands curved around the mug like he needed the heat to give him courage. "The nightmares, they're— well, they're no better. Worse, if anything. And—" His cheeks went red and he bit his bottom lip, making it invitingly red and wet for a moment.
"Listen, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. This can be all business, no need to make a whole performance about it."
Ed's face fell, but he recovered. "I think I'd rather it not be just business, if it's all the same to you."
Title: In Case You Disappear
Fandom: Whitechapel
Ship: Edward Buchan/Joseph Chandler/Ray Miles, Edward Buchan/Joseph Chandler, Joseph Chandler/Ray Miles, Edward Buchan/Ray Miles
Tags: Mature, Kisses, Double Drabble, Drabble Sequence
Summary: On safety and risks and love.
a/n: Written for both prompt #69 from the hundred kisses prompt list and also for my lovely friend @80aidy80's birthday! Happy birthday bb!!! Have some sap!! 💚
