Oct 6, 2023
egg
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egg
What to do if you find yourself prey to the Easter Bunny?
So, you’re walking down the street. It’s late, and you spot something in the corner of your eye, a well hidden egg. The egg is smooth like marble, and is heavier than you’d expect, so you decide to keep it, and now you regret it because something is following you.
She’s called the Easter Bunny, and you’ve stolen one of her eggs. Now, depending on how long you’ve had the eggs, a few things can happen.
• As always, the best advice is to simply not touch the egg, but do not take photos of it either. Gazing upon the egg is fine, but possession of it’s appearance is not meant for mortals.
• It’s always best to place the egg back in it’s position immediately after finding it. Wash your hands thoroughly or else your skin will begin to burn gradually over time, until the burning becomes unbearable and you’d rather cut off your hands than deal with the searing pain.
• If you’ve damaged the egg at all for any reason, the Easter Bunny will hunt you. If you are found by her, she will carve out your intestines and lay new eggs inside of you, hiding your body in a place where nobody will find you. Some have had limited success with tricking the Easter Bunny with a forged egg, while others have gone missing shortly after attempting it. Discretion is advised.
• If you’ve broken the egg, there is no point in following this guide anymore, as you’ve let loose something beyond the scope that anyone can help you. Praying won’t help you, nothing can help you.
• If the egg hatches on it’s own, you’ll discover nothing inside. One of two things will happen.
If you’ve cared for the egg with tender care, you will be left alone and no longer hunted by the Easter Bunny.
However, if you’ve treated the egg carelessly or with malice, your friends and family will slowly disappear one by one, in order of their closeness to you. Eventually, once everyone you have known is gone, you too will vanish.
• And, for the love of all that is holy, do not try eating the egg, either by swallowing it or otherwise. I can’t say anything more on the matter.
T R U S T M E I A M E G G
