Apr 3
Why
Someone please now explain me why it happened
Why am I doing this to myself once again
Years, it's been YEARS since I last watched this goddamn show
I arrived at that forsaken point in which Max tells Eleanor that she will never, EVER leave her, that she loves her, desperately asking her to leave together to start a new life far away from that wretched place
And there I was, delusional idiot I am, knowing perfectly what Eleanor is going to reply and how it's going to go, pleading her over and over to say YES with tears in my eyes
I don't want to read too much into it but i have the feeling this could be a telling premise for how this show is going to wreck me like a dog chewing on their favourite toy (again) 🫠
#black sails#maxanor#bsmax#eleanor guthrie#bseguthrie#eguthriemax#what madness possessed me to watch this show again#i avoided rewatching it for so long because i thought i wasn't ready to go through over all of it again#it having had such a big impact in those years in my life when i watched it#i still couldn't find another show which could give me what black sails gave me to this day#i also had mixed feelings about it for so long - maybe they're still present now - considering all it meant to me#compared to that final season which was complicated to digest and have probably not processed yet#it's been years and i probably couldn't find enough “detachment” from the show to go back to it without getting invested by the emotions#i'm not even sure why i decided i could start rewatching it now tbh - there wasn't any particular event prompting it#i thought i could handle it better now but considering how i'm already faring at the 2nd episode which is only the beginning#i wonder how i will be found later on 😅 - in a way i'm curious to find out though so i'll march forward#and see if this time i can finally finish a rewatch (which i believe i never did since the show ended)#let me tell you a story...#about a fool who is rewatching this show