#eh :d

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

WHOOOO THOSE NEW TEMPLES!!!!

CONGRATS EVERYONE WHO GOT A NEW ONE :'DDD IT'S GONNA BE AMAZING

[manuelmueller]

5 (anger) for neuller and you know who i want to say that 11 (bliss) for hömmels but maybe make it with a hint of skepticism 20 (anger) steno but like only if u want to bubba but i miss them okay i love you 💗💕

ANGER 20: “Let go of me.”

–––––

Marc hates it. He honestly, truly does.

He’s known Bernd Leno for what feels like forever, and never ever had the barely older goalkeeper not been able to make his blood boil to the point where he could hear it ringing in his ears.

There’s always been a distaste to watching him, a quiet loathing that came naturally with their rivalry, a flame that grew higher when people had started jokingly comparing them, both by their abilities as well as their looks, fiercer, more seething.

Marc has always hated being faced with Leno, and now, here they are, playing their first senior tournament for Germany together, number two and three (in an order that’s not even clear to Jogi Löw, apparently) behind one Manuel Neuer, a goalkeeping legend in his own right, and Marc hates that he has to share this experience with him.

But moreso, Marc hates how it’s not only kindred hatred he feels for the other blond, not anymore.

He has no idea when it has started, but there are feelings now. Pesky, annoying, terrible feelings that came seemingly out of nowhere – and yes, Marc is in fact pointedly ignoring the voice at the back of his mind whispering that it’s only a small journey from hatred to something else; after all, both of them are very much intense emotions.

He hates it.

Leno is eating breakfast, and it makes Marc want to stab his pancakes. Violently.

Leno is talking to Tah, smiling and gesturing, his hair unstyled and slightly curled and … yes, Marc is begrudgingly admitting it – is looking cute.

Shocking, terrifying. Entirely unwanted. Definitely not the way one should feel about their personal achnemesis. But that doesn’t change the fact that Marc does, and has probably since they boarded that flight to go to Switzerland for training camp. He’s found he started to find Leno adorable, good-looking, and god behold, he’s even caught him being sweet at times.

Not to Marc, of course. No, never to him. For him, Bernd only had icey glances, sneers and annoyed huffs. And while at first that had been welcomed, as it had been all those years, by now, Marc finds that it stings each time Leno’s smile turns into a frown when Marc enters his field of view, finds that himself wondering what it would feel like to be at the receiving end on one of those sunshine smiles instead. Heck, he’s started to wish for it, even.

God, he’s a mess. A bumbling, idiotic mess with a goddamn crush – on Leno, of all people.

Marc is pretty sure that someone up there is currently laughing at him. This could happen only to him, truly. And now he’s not only stuck with the petty, annoying outrage mixed with a good bit of jealousy and annoyance with Leno, but also struck by how pretty his eyelashes are, how much he loves it when his hair is soft after a shower. He marvels at the way Leno’s voice sounds, appreciates the way his training shirt stretches over his biceps.

Sure, Marc has always been aware that men interest him as well, but – him? Really, universe?!

But as it is, stabbing his pancake once again, until it looks like a mushy lump more than anything else, he knows that at this point, there’s nothing he can do about it.

Mario, next to him, is sending him concerned glances.

“You okay?” he asks, and Marc only grunts, almost disbelieving of what Bernd Leno’s presence has reduced him to.

Honestly, he shouldn’t even be surprised when it only gets worse once they have to turn up for training. Manuel keeps shooting him curious looks (or are they simply confused?) as if Marc’s ambivalent feelings were so obviously painted on his features that it’s a miracle that Bernd himself hasn’t picked up on it yet.

– and that’s another thing. For a few days already, Marc has been able to catch himself slipping, thinking of the idiot by his first rather than his last name. It’s such a stupid name, old-fashioned and really not for a young goalkeeper, but it suits the idiot, it really does.

Marc wants to kiss him.

Yes, he actually wants that. Yes, it scares him too. Leno has very pretty lips. Thin but delightfully pink, as if he was always chewing on them. Marc thinks of them often, and even for his annoyed, flustered brain, that thought is usually a bit too much.

Especially now, when he keeps staring at Leno’s mouth as he’s whispering to Tah once again. Manuel, on his right, elbows him into the side, quirking an eyebrow. And yeah, he should really pay attention to what Löw is saying, he knows that, but looking at Leno is just so much more interesting now; so, he keeps doing it.

It’s only three minutes later, when Löw is almost done, that it ends in disaster – Leno catches him staring.

Immediately, Marc can feel the blood rush to his cheeks as Leno musters him with scrutiny. He has to turn his head away to hide his blush – Mario, on his left, probably has noticed, but at least Marc is sure the younger could have no idea what’s actually going on; or at least, he hopes so. This is so embarrassing, he doesn’t even want to picture how it would be admitting this crush to someone.

Of course, that’s not all of it.

As soon as they return back to the goal, Manuel walking ahead with Andi Köpke, Leno next to Marc, it gets brought up again.

“What’s your deal, ter Stegen?”

Marc blanks.

“I mean,” Leno coughs awkwardly, “I know you’re weird, but you’re acting even weirder than usual.”

Marc blatantly ignores the insult, then simply shrugs. “I don’t know why you assume that’s any of your business. Newsflash: it’s not.”

He hates this. Hates that for a second, Bernd looks actually concerned about him. Hates how it makes his heart skip, that treacherous, silly heart.

“Hey,” Leno puts a hand on his arm. Violently, Marc janks it out of his grip.

“Let go of me,” he hisses, something in him shattering when he sees how Leno’s face falls, regret flooding over him like a spring tide, and for the first time in his life, he wants to apologize to him.

He doesn’t. Of course he doesn’t, not after the way they’ve treated each other for so many years, from hurling insults to ignorance to borderline fistfights  – but yet, he hopes that his eyes show his remorse plainly. 

He wants him to know.

Leno takes a deep breath. “Alright, then. Sorry for trying to care.” And with a huff, he stomps away, taking ridiculously long strides with those ridiculously long legs to catch up with Andi and Manuel.

And Marc, Marc is left behind, wishing he could reach out and lace their fingers together. Wishes he could mumble an apology and give his biggest rival a hug. He pictures what that would feel like, how it would come to be, sees them being caring towards another, supportive, bickering; and it’s then that he realizes.

He would do anything for that to become an actual possibility. And from now on, he will do anything to make it become a reality.

He likes Leno. Bernd.

And he fiercely, desperately wants him to know that – even if it’s in the face of rejection. But even more so, he hopes that the kindness the older has shown him if only for a moment … he hopes that it means that he’s not alone in this.

God, he really hopes that he isn’t.

emotional prompts – closed!

[vyvirka]

A hilarious photo of a squirrel stuck in a tree has claimed the top prize at Nikon's Comedy Wildlife Awards 2024

[paintmatsu]

If Mod Jyushi's next tattoo is a Homestuck one...

It should just say "Daddy Strider" in Comic Sans :3c -Mod Choroko

[kvlen]

Yay! Fellow Canadian! High five eh!

*high fives u*

[okisuke-blog]

Put a “Hi” in my ask & I’ll answer:

1. First impression: 2. Truth is:  3. How old do you look:  4. Have you ever made me laugh:  5. Have you ever made me mad:  6. Best feature:  7. Have I ever had a crush on you: 8. You’re my:  9. Name in my phone:  10. Should you post this too?

[annabvb]

Mathe Klausur. Tja. Schicksal.