Look At Me (KirishimaXGN!Reader)
(Warnings): 18+ Cussing, trauma, mental illness themes, dating doesn’t solve trauma!
Kirishima had been down on himself after a failed mission almost a week ago. In all the time you knew your favorite sunshine boy you managed to get a glimpse into his other side. Low confidence, over analyzing his mistakes... just generally taking issue with himself. He was your friend. Your friend that you had a massive crush on. Ever since you saw him with his hair down he made your ears feel hot and it drove you fucking crazy.
Sadly you weren't seeing much of him at all. Poor baby was hiding in his room because of a casualty. A person was trapped in a burning building and he didn't make it to them in time. It was traumatic for him, you saw it on his face on his first day back to the dorms. Now he only ever left to go to class or get food after Bakugou spammed his phone or pounded on his door. At least he had for awhile. Even that wasn't working at this point.
Even though you tried to give him his space you knew something had to change. You were worried sick. Kirishima only ever spoke to you briefly in class anymore and anytime you asked him how he was doing he would lie and then quickly change the subject. Classes ended a few hours ago, and you were in a tee shirt and a pair of stupid PJ pants Kirishima bought you for your birthday. You had to talk to him. A determined expression took over your features as you forced your leg to stop bouncing with a hand on your thigh. A deep breath left your lips as you prepared for the next move. Rising with newfound determination and forced yourself out of your room to find your friend. He was in his room. He always was.
Thankfully his dorm wasn’t far. It wasn’t until you reached your destination that you felt your newfound energy waver. Nervously shifting your weight from one foot to another you bided your time. You stared at the ground, sucking in a breath and lifting up your hand. Unfortunately you weren’t given enough time to prepare, because Kirishima just so happened to open his door. He was staring at his phone and you assumed Bakugou had been trying to get him to come eat again.
The two of you made eye contact, both startled. He had clearly been trying to avoid you for the most part. You and everyone else, so seeing you at his door was unexpected.
“Oh hey, (Y/N)! ‘There something I can help you with?”
“Uh.. well. I just haven’t seen you around much so...”
You hoped he would talk over you or something but he waited patiently while you trailed off awkwardly. Kiri looked fine besides the fact that his hair was down and he had casual clothes on. Maybe he was fine and you over-reacted?
“Fine. Bakugo made food so why don’t we just-”
There it was. He was trying to maneuver past you. You grabbed the sleeve of his white tee and stood your ground.
He looked so confused. In truth you felt bad doing this but he needed to talk about it. You weren’t going to let this get worse than it already was.
“Kirishima... please just talk to me.”
He lightly pulled his arm free from your grasp and you felt your heart sink.
“Aren’t you hungry? Maybe we can catch up over some grub?”
The blatant denial broke your heart. You felt your eyes sting. This couldn’t continue.
“I’m being serious, Kiri. Please, please just stop acting like everything is okay.”
There was a long drawn out pause as he processed your words. You watched him shrink in on himself. It almost looked like he was scared. It hurt to see him this way but he needed help, and as his friend you intended to give it to him. You barely heard what he hesitantly mumbled but you were shocked that he responded at all.
“I don’t...uhh.. know how to do anything else...”
You gently took his large hand and brought him into his room for some privacy, closing the door behind the two of you. This conversation required privacy and Kiri let you in his room whenever you wanted anyways. You plopped onto his bed and patted the spot beside yourself. It took him a second to get moving. When his legs finally allowed it he sat down next to you, keeping a respectful distance as always. You could hear how uneven his breathing was now. He sounded like he might be having a hard time getting air.
He didn’t verbally respond, simply wrapping his arms around himself protectively. You were surprised when you glanced up at his face and saw a look of pure sadness and panic. Kirishima was traumatized. Tears started to flow down his cheeks as he began to silently sob.
“Hey, c’mere big guy.” You draped an arm around his shoulder, pulling his head into the crook of your neck.
“Try to breathe, okay? In through your nose and out through your mouth.”
He weakly nodded against your shoulder, attempting to follow your instructions. You lead by example and he started to catch on. Unfortunately that didn’t last long. He started to mumble to himself.
“It’s my fault. If it were any other hero.. they would’ve made it in time. What if it was you in that building? What if I was too late then?-”
Kirishima was starting to work himself up worse. His legs were bouncing nervously, hands clasped together so tightly in his lap that his knuckles were turning white. You had to do something before he went into a severe attack.
When he lifted his head you gently took hold of his firm shoulders and maintained eye contact.
“-It wasn’t! And I wasn’t in that building. It wouldn’t have mattered who was there okay? Sometimes these things happen, it doesn’t mean it was your fault.”
“I should’ve been faster. I should’ve-”
He cut himself off with a choked sob as he began to break down in front of you. Scarlet orbs began to glare into his own lap, but your words were determined enough to grab his attention through his blurry vision.
“Kirishima I will not let you talk about yourself like that. You mean the world to me. You are brave, strong, and you have a good heart. It might not be a great time to say this but.. I really like you! More than a friend kind of like. ‘know why?”
You couldn’t believe you just told him but in truth it was now or never. He looked shocked. It seemed to still the sobs as he shook his head at you.
“ I like you because of what a good person you are! If there is something you can do you always do it. You did the most that you could. That is all that you can do at the end of the day.”
Absentmindedly you lifted a hand and swiped a tear from his cheek with your thumb. It was only after he reacted by staring at you wordlessly that you realized how un-platonic that really was.
His breathing steadied as you began to drop your hand in embarrassment. It was Kirishima’s turn to reach out. He grabbed your hand in his large one and you suddenly realized how insanely warm he is. Not just his personality, no, his actual skin. For a second he forgot how to talk. It was only when you raised your eyebrows expectantly at him that he found his voice.
You let out a dramatic sigh and Kirishima found himself chuckling, despite his raw eyes and wet cheeks. He couldn’t remember the last time he did that. Let out anything close to a laugh.
“Sorry, I know that was a lot. I just didn’t think you felt the same way.”
Kirishima gave your hand a little squeeze.
“So.. can I be your boyfriend?”
“Well sure, but only on one condition.”
He gave you an excited nod, a toothy grin appearing on his face. He looked so pretty when he was happy.
“If something is eating you up or you ever feel this way again will you talk to me? Or if not me then maybe someone else?”
“Of course I will, but only on one condition.”
You gave him a little eyeroll and quirked a brow, waiting for whatever he was going to ask.
“IfIcangiveyouakiss! It doesn’t have to be a real one or anything, whatever you’re comfortable with, really-”
You cut him off with you lips. The kiss was short and gentle, but it felt so warm you were sure you had somehow been burnt. You could tell that it relaxed him when his shoulders abruptly slumped and you broke the kiss with a giggle.
A ding interrupted you and Kiri checked his phone, his expression morphing into an amused one.
He cleared his throat, reading the pop up in Bakugo’s voice
“Where the hell are you shitty-hair? The food is getting cold! Hurry up or I’m throwing it out!”
The two of you burst into laughter. Kirishima was not only really good at Bakugo impressions, but he was also your boyfriend now. Things were looking up. He had a long way to go and dating him wasn’t going to magically get rid of his problems, but it was going to at least be a journey that you shared.
