while we're on the topic of "i don't have a formal label for it, but i suspect i am not wired quite the same as the general population": among the funniest situations i've ever been in was being on vacation with a friend who has said before that she thinks she's on the spectrum and a security guard at the art installation we were going to was trying to wink wink nudge nudge us into understanding that he was offering to let us bribe him to get us in without having to pay more and buy tickets and we both were just Not Getting It
this man was speaking in CIRCLES. he was coming up with RIDDLES THREE. he was increasingly and very obviously thrown by the fact that we were not understanding that he was trying to get a bribe. he was throwing out, "you go up there, you'll pay $100 for both, but maybe you just give me $50 and we work things out" and me AND my friend were just ??? do you sell??? discount tickets???? did someone miss their entry window and now you're just trying to sell their tickets off?? that sounds like something a museum would do, yes, do we pay here or get back in line??
because this man was an official security guard. he was wearing a uniform with the art installation's name on it. so it just did not dawn on either of us that he was trying to Break Rules. he's breaking out "you two have cash?" and getting back "i mean, some, yeah, but you guys take card here, right?"
and this went on for. A WHILE. he fully pulled us off to the side because we were not catching on quick enough and were holding up the line. he finally had to pull out, "if you two give me $50, i will walk you both in, and then you won't have to pay $100. the people at the desk will just think i scanned your tickets on your phone out here and then took you through."
just extremely funny to be part of unstoppable force (guard trying to make extra cash by taking bribes from tourists) meets immovable object (two tourists who just can't understand what he's trying to achieve here because it's not the expected script in this situation) that ended in that unstoppable force having to lay out that yeah he was proposing breaking the rules and here's how
