#eldest gruff

[drawsdenfiles]

"No murder without getting the nod first. Got it."

The Dresden Files | Jim Butcher

[dresdenfilesincorrectquotes]

Eldest Gruff with a Starbucks cup in hoof: Need ye help, friend Shield Bearer? I was passing hence for but a latte most vanilla and espied this battle unfairly number’d two ‘gainst one.

Karrin: F*cking Chicago.

[aletheia-in-the-space]

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Eldest Brother Gruff by Magda Drysiak See more on the artist's Instagram: drawing.guinies.books

I am not the author and I do not own this art. Posted with the author's permission.

[drawsdenfiles]

@zanderzargarin

[dresdenfilesincorrectquotes]

*At a Dresden cookout*

Harry: What do you got?

Eldest Gruff: I have steaks, hamburgers, and veggieburgers.  Furthermore, I have grilled the hot dog, though the quality of this meat seems.... questionable.  This I cannot recommend.  I also attempted a lobster, but the beast bested me.

Harry: I’ll have a hot dog.

Eldest Gruff: Such bravery, Two hot dogs then.

*Murphy approaches*

Eldest Gruff: And what would you like Shield Bearer? I have steaks, hamburgers, and vegg-

Murphy: Pie.  Do you have any pie?

Eldest Gruff: Aye, we have made ready such pastries. And we have done so... with vigor.

Eldest Gruff: BRING FORTH THE PIES!

*One of the Younger Gruffs burst in with an irresponsible amount of pies a thousand strong on his shoulders*

[thedeadhatter]

I Want To Make A Deal

The gruff regarded me solemnly. "Hail, young wizard." He had a deep, resonant voice, far too huge and rich for the frame it came from. "Thou knowest why I have come." "To slay me, most likely," I said. "Aye," said the gruff. "By my Queen's command and in defense of Summer's honor." "Why?" I asked him. "Why would Summer want Marcone taken by the Denarians? Why would Summer want the Archive under their control?" The gruff only stared at me for a long moment, but when he spoke I could have sworn that his voice sounded pensive. Maybe even troubled. "It is not my place to know such things-or to ask." "The gruffs are Summer's champion in this matter, aren't they?" I demanded. "If not you, then who?" "What of thee, wizard?" the gruff countered. "Hast thou asked why the wicked Queen of Winter would wish thee to prevent Marcone from being taken by those servants of the darkest shadow? Why she who embodies destruction and death would wish to protect and preserve the Archive?" "I have, actually," I said. "And what answers hast thou found?" "Gruff," I said, "I find myself largely clueless about why mortal women do what they do. It will take a wiser man than me to understand what's in a fae woman's mind." Eldest Gruff stared at me blankly for a second. Then he threw back his head and made a sound that...well, more than anything it sounded like a donkey. Hee-haw, hee-haw, hee-haw.

He was laughing. I laughed, too. I couldn't help it. The whole day had just been too much, and the laugh just felt too good. I laughed until my stomach hurt, and when the gruff saw me laughing, it only made him laugh harder-and more like a donkey-and that set me off in turn. It was a good two or three minutes before we settled down. "They tell children stories about you guys, you know," I said. "Still?" he said. I nodded. "Stories about clever little billy goats outsmarting big mean trolls until their bigger, stronger brothers come along and put the trolls in their place." The gruff grunted. He said, "We hear tales of thee, young wizard." I blinked. "You, uh?" "We too like stories about..." His eyes searched his memory for a moment before he smiled, pleased. The gesture looked pleasantly nonviolent on his face. "Underdogs." I snorted. "Well. I guess this is another one." The gruff 's smile faded. "I dislike being cast as the troll." "So change the role," I said. The gruff shook his head. "That I cannot do. I serve Summer. I serve my Queen." "But it's over," I said. "Marcone is already free. So's Ivy." "But thou art still here, upon the field of conflict," the gruff said gently. "As am I. And so the matter is not closed. And so I must fulfill my obligations-to my great regret, wizard. I have only admiration for thee, in a personal sense." I tilted my head and stared hard at him. "You say that you serve Summer and the Queen. In that order?" The gruff mirrored my gesture, his eyes questioning. I fumbled in my pocket and came out with the other thing I had grabbed back at my apartment-the little silver oak leaf pin Mister had been batting all over Little Chicago. I'd figured that they'd stopped using it to chase me, once they'd gotten tired of Mister having his catnipped way with them. The gruff 's eyes widened. "The confounding enchantment thou didst employ upon our tracking spell was most efficacious. I had hoped to ask thee how it was done." "Trade secret," I said. "But you know what came with this pin." "Indeed," he said. "You were made an Esquire of Summer, and granted a boon, but..." He shook his head. "A boon can be a matter of importance, but not one this grave. Thou canst not ask me to yield to thee in a matter of conflict between the Courts themselves." "I won't," I said. "But just so we're clear. Once both of us have left this island, the matter is closed?" "Once thou art safe again in Chicago, aye, it would be." "Then I ask for Summer to honor its pledge to me, and the debt it incurred to me when I struck at Winter's heart on its behalf." The gruff 's ears stood up, facing me. "Aye?" "I want you," I said, "to get me a doughnut. A real, genuine, Chicago doughnut. Not some glamoured doughnut. An actual one. Freshly made." The gruff 's teeth began to show as he smiled again. "Of course," I said, "you could deny me the boon I rightfully earned in blood and fire and kill me instead, thus ensuring that Summer would renege on a debt and never be able to make good on it. But I don't think that would be very good for Summer and its honor. Do you?" "Indeed not, wizard," the gruff said. "Indeed it would not be." He bowed his head to me. "Likest thou jelly within thy doughnut?" "Nay, but prithee, with sprinkles 'pon it instead," I said solemnly, "and frosting of white." "It could take some time to locate such a pastry," the gruff said seriously. I bowed my head to him. "I trust in the honor of Summer's champions that it will arrive in good time." He bowed his head in reply. "Understand, young wizard, I may not aid thee further." "You're pushing the rules enough already," I said dryly. "Believe me. I know how that is." Eldest Gruff 's golden eyes glittered. Then he lifted the staff and thumped it quietly onto the floorboards. Once again there was a pulse of green light and a surge of gentle thunder-and he was simply gone.

[it-hurts-because-it-mattered]

Likest thou jelly within thy donut?

One of the most powerful entities to show up within 10 books of a series notorious for increasingly the average power of characters dramatically each book.

[dresdenfilesconfessions]