to bicycles and a shopping cart on our way from the EMP
Was unhappily reminded of our reliance on electronics and the vulnerability of our power grid, twice this week. The first was easy to repress as I've been aware of this "one more thing" for years, and starting yet another post-apocalyptic series on my kindle was...a familiar reminder. It was the second thing I'm still thinking about.
When my phone suddenly stopped receiving a signal, I didn't think of the scenario where the North Koreans sneak a few old Russian Ilyushin jet bombers, into the US commercial traffic pattern squawking Chinese commercial airliner codes, then climbing them high and setting off nuclear bombs to create electromagnetic pulses devastating our nation's power grid.
Nope, I didn't think that because I'm not living in a constant state of terror that at any moment the world or just my world (same thing) is about to come crashing down. Yeah living in a state of denial isn't the constant address of only Trumper's. We all fend off the vagaries of life with barricades made of hope, faith, repression, nihilism, etc.
Personally, I cope mostly by...nevermind. Even though I've seemed to notice more of those Emergency Broadcast transmissions on the radio than usual, and even though, the world's most prominent Darth Vader seems to be going down in an insane egoists death spire and taking us with him, my first thought was...yeah Android Auto really sucks. It does.
It wasn't until I pulled into the parking lot of the supermarket and unplugged my phone from the car, that I realized, not only wasn't I not getting any cell signal, I wasn't getting an icon to represent a cell signal. When I tried to make a call or send a text I got the most disturbing message. "Phone not connect to a network. No number associated with this device. You can only make Emergency calls."
WTAF!!! In this day and age, when an emergency happens, you use your phone to call for help. Really when nearly anything happens you use your phone. When the emergency is - your phone is no longer a phone, I repeat, What the actual fuck?!
Not an emergency you say? Well here I was sitting in a primo parking spot on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, temp in the low 80's, sorry world, all ready to go in to get a long list of food items when I realized, I'd forgotten the list!!! Ikr? Yeah big time Emerg!!!
So, I shakily restarted the car and drove a white-knuckled fifteen minutes in heavy traffic to the Verizon store. I could think of three Verizon stores off hand. As a former member of an AF tactical communications unit, I've been conditioned to always know where all emergency egress routes are and the nearest White Castle and Verizon stores.
What? Some of you savvy preppers might ask, "Shouldn't I know where the gun stores are?' For when the sky is covered in contrails and the dead have begun to walk? Nah, I live in Indiana. You can't swing a dead zombie torso without hitting a gun shop. But MF if you've just finished a hard day of drinking and your stomach has begun to cry like Nancy Keriggan Why Why Why, a WK crave case is survival.
Anyway, as I walked in the Verizon store I noticed OMG, every single person was currently looking at a hand-held screen. Every customer and every Verizon team member. Most of the team members were looking at two screens, a tablet and a computer screen. Yeah, one EMP and I might as well have been trapped in an Escape Room!!! Okay, not a very good one as the whole front of the store is windows but... <whispers> the horror!
Quickly, a team leader approached me. To some extent I imagined what the energetic young man (Dean) might be seeing as he approached. A tallish, older man, not quite fit but not quite gone Homer Simpson, and okay he probably was just seeing customer number 286 and wondering if the geezer could remember his own phone number. So when he greeted me cheerily and asked for my phone number, I said.
Umh, I was just driving along and my phone stopped working and now it says there's no number assigned to it! Okay??? he replied.
I gave him my phone number and he said, the next rep will be with you as soon as possible.
When Terrence came over, about ten minutes later, I handed him my phone and raddled off my number. Okay, what can I help you with?
Terrence was great. He confirmed my query that sometimes people's numbers are in fact stolen (no missile contrails so) but he would just check out if my sim card was working properly...first. A new sim card later and my phone began to work. I assured Terrence when I chose to replace my phone, I'd let him know and I walked out into the day in full possession of a working phone, comfortably connected to the hivemind network. A short while later, I was in the supermarket when D texted me a photo of the grocery list I'd left on the counter. <sigh> yeah, I should have got a bigger shopping cart.