Being both a fic writer and avid reader, the whole engagement/comments thing really torns me apart sometimes.
As a writer, I will always confirm that we want the engagement and validation and feeling community! Possibly find new friends who like what we like. We always feel so overlooked compared to artists (no shame to my fellow fan artists! I'm just saying).
I started writing and post fics barely as a teen in italian, and I still talk to the friends made back then, one of them invited me to her wedding a few years ago!
I don't mean to be a hypocrite, in fact I believe I am not, but let me explain.
As a reader, I've been burned multiple times. I have this vivid memory of being super excited about a fic because it was about a pair I liked but that wasn't popular (very rare case of me enjoying a rare pair, usually I need substance to ship something), so I left this extremely excited and, tbh, very cringy teen-style (i was a teen after all) comment. You know the drill, all the excited yelling and stuff about how good it was and how happy it made me. The author replied basically belittling me, telling me to calm down (no, it wasn't in good humor, trust me). They said nothing else. I remember to this day the way it made me feel, how my enthusiasm was put down like a flamed dumped by a bucket of water.
Similar stuff happened other times as well, but that the more emblematic. I prefer silence instead (in fact I hold nothing against who doesn't reply for any reason, I know I struggle with that too sometimes).
But I am not that shallow, if it was just that I would easily still comment to my heart's content, but there's more.
I am from a different time of fandom, and if you follow me you probably saw me already complaining about the new fandom etiquette in some matters. One I don't think I mentioned yet is specifically about writing and commenting. Nowdays it's all "either you say something nice or you shut up".
It's not a bad rule on its own. I do agree that we shouldn't just endlessly insult and tear each other apart, but at the same time it feels a bit of a double standard to encourage that silence then complain about lack of engagement. Back in my days comments were called "reviews", and critical ones were much more welcomed and expected. I know it changed possibly because of the bad connotations of the word "critical" nowdays, but in reality it doesn't mean hating or insulting, but just finding flaws and helping overcoming them.
I grew up like this. I learned to write like this, starting with shitty fics that got gently criticized to help me get better. Me and others helped each other and bonded this way (see back, me at my friend's wedding).
By all means, people are allowed to say that they don't want that and don't care about bettering their skills because they're just having fun. I'm not saying everyone should do that. However, this does create a context that justifies both the silence and the request for interaction.
Basically, I don't feel like I am allowed to comment even if I want to. Because I have the tendency to point out both good and bad (I did scriptwriting school, I am particularly used to this), always gently because I want to encourage, and asking me to skip the bad is like asking me to lie. It feels like lying. You asked for my input but you also don't want it, you just want the compliments. Besides, both good and bad are related points usually so it's hard for me to keep them separated.
This is something I've been wanting to talk about for a while, because I think it's part of the reasons there's this lack of community. I miss being able to say what I think. I mean, sure there were assholes back then in their reviews, but they were considered as such. Whatever your opinion, the important part was to stay kind and polite. I have always welcomed getle critics because I always aimed at improving. Working together to make sure we fixed flaws also brought us friendships.
I'm not sure how to end this, it's just a bunch of thoughts opinions and examples from personal experiences. It's not like I'm going to destroy the next fic I read, and I will always respect the authors' requests. You're also allowed to disagree with me in general.
I suppose I wish it was the opposite: free reign to comment my opinions unless stated otherwise. But well, that's not how it is.
So, I suppose I'll keep my silence for now. But it does feel lonely.
