#elposts

[jortpendle]

somehow ended up writing 4k words today of what looks to be my most unhinged buck x bucky fic yet. this was not even an idea yesterday I don't know where it came from

[a-lonestargazer]

me: *drops a single crumb of anything*

crows: It belongs to us. gimmie. *proceed to appeare in masses*

meanwhile mum is mildly freaking out ‘cause, many-many crows. lol

[jortpendle]

Rewatching MOTA and just losing my mind again about John and that damn bicycle. Not only does he happily risk his literal eyesight to get it, but he won't give it up for all the money in the world. All the money in the world doesn't mean a thing to John when it's compared to Gale. And I just keep thinking about how John valuing Gale so much more than money must heal something so deep in Gale after a lifetime of being placed second to it by his gambling father. And John is just so happy on his way back to base, singing in the rain knowing he has a lil gift for Gale when he arrives. He loves him so much😭😭

[jortpendle]

Went on a date today and not ten minutes in, unprompted, he started talking about how strange and wrong it is for people to be writing fanfic and shipping people…truly was a test of my poker face

[jortpendle]

Some thoughts on the dynamic between Gale and Bucky when they start to realise how they feel about each other:

Gale is kind of aware of how Bucky feels about him, but he clamps all his feelings down before they get a chance to breathe. Whereas Bucky is unsure of Gale’s feelings, but doesn’t really try to fight his own. 

When Bucky meets Gale he’s pretty instantly drawn to him, but he doesn’t question why. Bucky is the type to take life as it comes, and he doesn’t overthink everything. He just knows he wants to be around Gale. He’s felt attraction towards men in the past, but he’s never had romantic feelings for men, and so he’s never felt the need to examine it too closely. For John, romantic feelings and attraction aren’t one and the same - and besides, he hasn’t really had romantic feelings for anyone, aside from very fleetingly. But as time goes on, he becomes aware that Gale means more to him than a friend -  he doesn’t necessarily acknowledge what he feels, but he doesn’t ignore it either. He very much just acts on gut instinct, and doesn’t question it too much. 

On the other hand, attraction and romantic feelings are inextricably linked for Gale. He’s had stirrings of feelings for men before, but he’s always locked those feelings deep within himself, and avoided any situations or people that evoke them. He realises faster than Bucky how deep the feelings go between them. And he tries to withdraw from John, just as he has done with every other man he’s had feelings for. He tries not to look at Bucky too much, or to say anything. But he wants. And he can't stay away.

[jortpendle]

If this isn’t Hannibal at Will I don’t know what is

[jortpendle]

Today marks one year since I first watched mota! Those gay pilots really have consumed my life ever since

[jortpendle]

My two biggest foes when I'm writing Clegan fanfic: