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I dieded almost today

Hopefully we can find out why when the blood work comes back

I suspect POTS plus anaphylaxis

#emberly rambles #anywayyyyyyyy #that was fun #I got to be carried out of the building by Big strong people #of course my issues disappeared when I got into the doctor's office #so they sent me home #and now I'm having problems again #I'm not dying #but I can't remain upright #and my brain spazzes out every once in a while #not fun #I have 8 important performances over the next 12 days I can't afford this to happen now #hopefully it goes away tomorrow

Went on the drug Adderall for the first time this week and OMG I can't daydream! This is kinda terrifying! I mean I finally did my homework and missing work but yikes! I'll save it for only when I need to do 22 things in 5 hours. My head is empty and uugh... Daydreaming is so fun but it's a distraction so I'm glad it went away but now that I'm done I want it back.

It is nice that my brain is quiet tho

#adhd #audhd #emberly rambles #Adderall #medication #I wanna write and draw #but my brain wants to work #I haven't eaten all day #but I'm not hungry

Just finished 6 assignments!!!!

Only 20 more to go

#emberly rambles #college life #school #motivation #life #hopefully I can keep this up the rest of the day #it's all overdue #so tonight is the last moment to turn it all in

You know how I almost dieded on Friday?

Now I'm in the hospital for a completely different issue that's not at all related.

Two medical curiosities within 4 days. I'm not dying at least

#emberly rambles #it's a kidney stone this time #at least that's the theory #the doc is taking forever to say anything #it honestly feels just like the cyst I had a few years ago #you know #the one I spent 12 hours ignoring before I got it checked out?#I've got good pain tolerance #I almost didn't go in to get checked today #I'm glad I did tho #the pain is getting worse by the hour

I'm starting college tomorrow!

I am nervous though, because I like my gays but I'm going to a Christian school so I don't know if there will be any people openly out that I can befriend... The LGBT+ community has always been nicer and better to me than my church community and though I will never abandon my faith, I feel like I don't really have a place there with those people. The Church is true and amazing, but the people aren't as Christlike as they claim to be. My trans atheist friends live the gospel of charity and humility and love and inclusivity better than most my church friends.

Add that to the fact that I'm closeted atm and that complicates things further

#emberly rambles #oh well #college tag #if I make more college posts

Finished my schoolwork finally, and now I'm on break for the holidays! I'm looking forward to having time to log in to the game and do fanart! Maybe this time I'll post what I draw...

#emberly rambles

Wanting to write fanfic is so much kinder than wanting to write one's own story because with fanfic, you can always be like, "ehh, don't want to write, but I'll read" whereas I can't engage in any fan content or canon content for something I have to write because I'm the only one with the story!!!! Uuuughhhhh

#emberly rambles #not lu #not loz #being a writer #writing #might change my blog to theme with my writing better #or create a sideblog where I post stuff #genuinely want to see fanart of my peeps #but I'm the only one who knows them #so i need to do my own fanart #uuugh #my writing gets worse and worse every day #it's bad when the author forgets cannon because they want to see the happy ending #i need to stick to cannon so that if anyone does end up reading my work they can have the joy of coming up with the better ending #things is i know it's a story that many people would like #i just suck at marketing #and i don't think my writing is good enough to gather attention #or to express the story #wish i could just telepathically send the story to a famous author #let them have a dream and write it as is possessed #and then i get to read it #anyway #oh well #anyone feel like chilling with me?#im bored out of my mind #open to talking LU or LOZ #or Final Fantasy #i just restored a bunch of old game systems so im replaying original games

Aaaaaaaaaa

I'm getting close to finishing the rough draft of my novel! I've been working on this for 13 years. I've been restarting, deleting, refining, and sometimes writing for that time, and now I'm actually close to being done. With that being said, does anyone have any recommendations for how I can get feedback on my work, not just grammar and stuff, but the actual content? I worry the plot is too convoluted, but I could also be overthinking, idk. Any assistance/suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

#emberly rambles #emberly's social tag #writerscommunity #writers on tumblr #autistic writer #writeblr #writers #please someone see this #ummm #beta reader #?#I wish there was a place I could post like #2 chapters at a time? And have feedback on it #wait #I could do that here....#would anyone be interested?

#emberly rambles

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