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Empathic Traits

Empathetic people often recognize intuitively when people are behaving strangely. Even if they can't explain it rationally, they have this “gut feeling”. They also recognize each other. And just as someone loves looking at beautiful people or things, they love looking into a beautiful soul. Highly empathic people - or “INFJs”, “Super Empaths”, “highly sensitive people” (whatever you may call them) are quite rare personalities (e.g. less than 1% of people have an INFJ personality structure). A person with such a personality can therefore feel quite “weird” in a world that is predominantly “different”.

An “extraordinary journey” began a few years ago - triggered by the behavior of our goddaughter. Sometimes you wonder why people behave in a certain way - and then you investigate. If you enter certain terms into Google, you will inevitably come across the term “narcissism”. You research, read and compare more - and now I'm quite sure that our goddaughter has highly narcissistic traits. A side effect of the research was the realization: I have met such people in my life before without knowing it. I now know why: narcissists like to dock with empaths. It's like so often - you go on a journey to get an answer to a question and in the process discover a lot of other things and even yourself. A lot of what I know today, especially about myself, would have saved me from heartbreak, especially in my twenties.

At that time, my wife also met S. in the gym and became friends with her. S.'s daughter is in a relationship with a well-known German speaker, hypnotist, coach and author. He hypnotizes people on stage in his shows to demonstrate how powerful our subconscious is. Using hypnosis, he “persuades” a test person standing on stage that his outstretched arm has suddenly become “petrified” and can no longer be bent. And in fact, the test person can only bend his arm again after the blockage in his head has been released. The subconscious is like a huge, stubborn „elephant“ on which the „ratio“ rides. No matter what the „ratio“ says or wants, if the „elephant“ doesn't want to go there because of negative experiences, then it won't happen. So when Freud emphasizes the “power of words“, one should believe him. They can even seduce entire peoples. I was hooked and wanted to learn more about human behavior.

The human brain is its own little universe - and from wanting to understand the “power of the subconscious” it is only a small step to wanting to understand “human personality structures”: Why do we do what we do? Why do we tick the way we tick? Professors Collin DeYoung, Lena Quilty and Jordan B. Peterson have expanded the scientifically supported “Big 5 personality model” for determining and explaining human personality structures to a 10-aspect model. S. uses this 10-aspect model to coach people in difficult times of their lives. Many of our problems have their roots in our own personality - or have to do with how the personalities of other people in our social environment affect us. I never booked a coaching appointment with S., but in many conversations over meals together I was naturally given food for thought to do my own research. As a result, I understand myself and other people's behavior better today.

I think the following characteristics describe a highly empathic person more or less quite well - although I am surely no „super empath“ (rather my wife who is much more empathetic than I am😁):

From “being self-aware” comes „inner strength“. Today, I appreciate my personality and consider it as a gift. Even if the existing models explain human personality and behavior quite well, it is probably, as with many models, only an approximation of the deep mysteries of the universe.

Mirror Touch Synesthesia (mentioned in the second video): Kandinsky had the unique ability to see colors as sounds and sounds as colors. When he looked at the following picture he „saw“ a piece of music.