So like… yall mind if I rant about having Alexithymia?
For those who don’t know, Alexithymia is a disability that makes it so you have a hard time feeling your emotions and understanding other’s’ emotions, and also because of this you have a hard time empathizing with people. Additionally apparently 1 in 5 ppl with autism have Alexithymia (such like myself).
Sometimes I find it hard to just EXIST as someone who has this dude, cuz everyone just… expects you to understand people’s emotions?? Entirely??? Like on sight???? Idk it’s weird man. It’s especially hard when people who know still expect you to be able to, even though I literally can’t??? Like tf am I supposed to do???? This all kinda led to whenever I’m trying to help ppl with issues, I always default to rationalizing because it’s kinda the only thing I can do, but I know sometimes people need more than me telling them “That’s not true!”.
Another problem is people misunderstanding what “a lack of empathy” means. Firstly, I’m not unfeeling. I still care deeply for my friends and loved ones, I just can’t cross that socio-emotional bridge, y’know? Secondly, I can still sympathize with people, which yes, they are two different things. Empathy is being able to feel other people’s feelings. Crying when someone else is sad, becoming enraged when someone’s angry etc., Sympathy is just feeling for another person’s situation.
My whole process with when someone shares bad news or something they’re going through is basically:
Person: My dog died.
Me: Ah, that’s bad, I’m sorry you’re going through that.
What was this post exactly? Idk, I guess sometimes I feel like my existence is a bit anachronistic… I’m someone who cares for people, and yet I can barely connect with anyone… feels lonely, like I’m some monster, yk?
Idk, anyways, thanks for reading these ramblings, kind stranger! I love you <3
