I hate when I'm in so much pain that I become irritable, and worse, I can't control it. I physically end up having to remove myself from the situation because I can't trust myself. Endometriosis is a special kind of hell.
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I hate when I'm in so much pain that I become irritable, and worse, I can't control it. I physically end up having to remove myself from the situation because I can't trust myself. Endometriosis is a special kind of hell.
ENDOCRINE HORMONES WITH FEMALE REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM
Lucky me got to experience my usual mysterious intensely horrible abdominal pain tonight, for the second time in a week... And omfg the saga of it all this time...
*In ambulance being taken to ER bc of excruciating endometrosis/pelvic pain*
There are two paramedics, both male.
Paramedic 1: so, what medical conditions do you have?
Me, crying in pain: "endometrosis & a chronic pain disorder"
Paramedic 2: ah, edome..tree..rotteris?? so that's like.. *prompts me for an answer even though I'm barely functioning bc of the pain*
Paramedic 1: ummm, it's like, a problem with the uterus lining..
Me, explaining whilst sobbing incoherently: "my uterine lining grows outside of my uterus, on my fallopian tubes and both my ovaries, and it hurts.. Alot."
Paramedic 1: "oh right, well before we give you any pain relief, are you pregnant right now or could be pregnant?"
Me: "No, I finished my period today."
Paramedic 1: "Are you SURE you're not pregnant though? What birth control are you on?"
Me, still crying hysterically, "I am not pregnant. And I dont take hormonal birth control.. Btw I now have pins and needles in my hands and feet"
Paramedic 2: "That's bc you're not breathing properly, you should try calming down.."
Me: ..........
Paramedic 1: "ah so yeah I guess we'll give you pain relief now , should be all good"
*me, thinking as I finally receive pain relief* "how tf do you guys have jobs lmao???"
(also, when I got to the ED and was seen my a male doctor, they offered to give me tramadol even though I told them repeatedly I can't take tramadol bc I'm on Effexor which has a major interaction and can cause serotonin syndrome... Perplexingly the Dr then offered me ibuprofen which I refused to take bc, he literally told me 15 mins beforehand that the pain may be interconnected to IBS/IBD.. So I'm thinking why tf would I take an anti inflammatory that is known to irritate the GI tract??? When I refused both meds explaining my reasons, the Dr said there's nothing else he can give me besides an anti inflammatory suppository.which again why tf would I try that when that's akin to putting ibuprofen directly into my GI tract, lmao. Then I began to cry bc the pain was returning (approx 3 hrs after being given fentanyl in the ambulance), and the Dr honestly just fobbed me off and walked away. I then started having a panic attack bc I was so frightened the pain would return again. I cried for like 20 minutes before a nurse checked up on me - their response was giving me some water and telling me that "oh gee you've worked yourself up" which was so condescending but w/e. I was still terrified and crying, and I swear I cried for an hour before the Dr came to tell me to "calm down" and gave me a spiel about how I shouldnt come to the ER if the pain returns, I should just take panadeine forte regularly and I'll be fine (lmao yeah wow great advice Dr, it's not like codeine constipates you and makes the whole IBS thing worse or anything.. ffs). He then left and I cried some more bc I felt like none of the staff cared at all about how I was feeling. I then descended into a full blown panic attack which all the staff totally ignored, to the point where it took my SO to ask the Dr to give me some diazepam to help me calm down. Eventually a nurse came in with one 5mg tablet, which I took and although I was still upset, I asked to be discharged bc at that stage it was 4.30am and I just cbf trying to get help anymore. Btw the hospital was somehow totally empty, to the point where the nurses were sharing snacks amongst themselves at their "work" stations, so tbh I couldn't see a valid reason why I was being acutely ignored given my distress. Not to be cynical but I assume the Dr and some of the nurses thought I was faking it to get pain killers or w/e, so I guess their solution was to just ignore me until I discharged myself... Personally I think this is common with invisible illnesses which makes having them all the more difficult. Btw, this all happened at Charlie Gardiners Hospital so if you have the luxury of choice don't go there. Srsly I've been at their ED three times now, and each time has been a crappy experience.
People: "why can't you keep a job"?
Me: "well buckle up cause it's story time. It's called I go into the doctor for the pain, they neglect it and say I'm fine. I'm not fine, they neglect taking care of it. I end up having to have emergency surgery AGAIN and miss ANOTHER month of work because whatever was wrong wasn't taken care of right away, got infected and now my recovery time is longer "
Thanks for listening to my Ted Talk ✌🏼
Knowing you toss and turn constantly in bed cause you're in constant pain, so you stay up all night so your boyfriend can get a goodnight sleep and you just go to bed when he leaves for work.
I just spent 7hrs in the ER but it's ok bc I was given fentanyl in the ambulance so the whole ordeal felt more like 45 minutes.
Thru the miracle of muscle relaxants and a half hour, hot magnesium sulfate bath, I was able to attend about 2.5 hrs of going out to do fun stuff with my SO and best friend. We saw a hardwire electronica event and then hung out for a bit afterwards. Not many people know this but I produce electronic music myself and might be doing more live performances in the future. Flattering enough, I spoke to a PhD in music and her husband (a producer of electronic music that I rly like), said they loved the performance I played a few weeks ago and would put in a good word for me with a manager/curator who organises these kinds of events. I felt so happy that I received this kind of encouragement and praise by such well respected and established members of electronic music in my city. It’s made me feel so much more hopeful for the future, and itd love the opportunity to not only be one of the few women electronic artists in my city but one of the few with a chronic illness.
Happy thanksgiving says your uterus as it stabs you with a knife.