Juniper's Heart, Part 2 of 3
Photographer Joni Schrantz's daughter Juniper received a heart transplant on September 17, 2014. She is curating the Your Shot assignment "The Gift of Life," inviting you to share who and what you are grateful for, and about why life is special for you.
Photography and story by Joni Schrantz
Her daughter Juniper received a heart transplant on September 17, 2014.
(9/21) “1:00AM. This is the exact time Juniper should have been wheeled back to the operating room to begin her transplant preparations. Instead the surgeon approached us, and sat down on the makeshift bed next to us and began to tell us that the donor heart we thought Juniper would be getting was no longer viable.
The news hit us like a ton of bricks. After feeling such a high all day celebrating the life we would get to share with our daughter, this was the exact opposite. We believed we would lose her, that our story would not have a happy ending. Every worst case scenario had come true thus far; we were convinced the trend would continue. Juniper would need the Berlin Heart after all, and now she was doing even worse since she had essentially gone through heart surgery earlier that day. The surgeon was extremely worried.”
(10/21) “Juniper suffered four strokes of unknown magnitude. We were told she may never walk, that she may never talk — or that she may be perfectly fine. There was simply no way of knowing. We were suddenly faced with some pretty serious ‘quality of life’ talks. It was agreed that we would wait and see if she showed a quick recovery, or if she would seem severely affected. We were already handing our child a life with a heart-transplant, could we really ask her to deal with major neurological deficits as well? We just wanted to make sure we were keeping her alive for happy times ahead, and not a life filled with pain, restrictions and chronic illness. Thankfully, the weeks that followed would show promise. She was quickly back to the resilient baby we had come to know and love.”
(11/21) “Waiting for an organ transplant is an exhausting experience. There is so much guilt associated with one’s impatient nature, when knowing the tragic circumstances behind organ donation to happen. Yet you watch your child struggle, suffer, and endure more pain than you’ll ever know, and you just want that to end for them. You want them to live a life without organ failure and all that it includes: a life outside of the hospital, without constant treatments, without pokes, without pain, without side-effects. You want to be free of the constant weight of wondering when the call will come and when your ‘normal’ life will begin — yet you know what all of this will mean for another family.
Somewhere out there was another mother whose baby’s days were numbered. Given the circumstances around most pediatric donations, she likely wouldn’t see her child’s death coming. This is the heart-breaking reality of organ donation. How could I be so impatiently selfish when somewhere out there another mother was unknowingly spending her final days, weeks or months with her child? But I was. I wanted Juniper to be okay. I wanted to know she was going to live."
(12/21) “Once Juniper stabilized and we had some time to grieve the healthy child we thought we had, we began finding acceptance with the hand she was dealt. Our days stopped being so hard; instead the days started to feel longer and longer. We tried our best to live in the moment with a lot of normal, everyday things like bath time, books and toys — instead of always thinking about when she would get HER call. What if that never happened? What if our moments in the hospital was all we would get with Juniper? I didn’t want to waste my time with her ruminating on the future when it wasn’t promised to us. We tried hard to make happy memories with her and treat her like a normal baby.”
(13/21) “We had no idea, but in a neighboring state, a mother was spending her final day with her baby. Typically, the events resulting in brain-death are traumatic, unforeseen injuries, or accidents. Simply put, the parents usually have no idea that they will lose their child. The days that follow will truly be the worst of their lives. Then, only when it’s discovered that nothing more can be done for their child medically, they are asked if they will do something selfless for another family. They are asked a question to which they will have little time to consider, which I believe makes this one decision that much more selfless and beautiful. These parents are asked to be the best versions of themselves during the lowest moments of their lives. Somewhere out there, was a mother just like me, who would soon say goodbye to her baby, just as I had been fearing for nearly seven months. But because of her love for others, she would spare me the same fate.”
(14/21) “Day 194: This was our final day on the waiting list. That afternoon, her transplant coordinator entered our hospital room just like she did every other afternoon, tears filled her eyes as she excitedly announced that a heart was available for Juniper. As much as I had built this moment up in my head, my reaction was unemotional. It didn’t feel real, and I think I was still skeptical from our first trial run. I stayed calm, but excited, and called my husband who was at work. When he arrived at the hospital, we started calling our families but decided to keep things quiet until it was truly official. Thankfully, this was no trial run. We found out around midnight that Juniper would get her heart after all.”
(15/21) “A new counting of days would begin on September 17, 2014. A count signifying the number of days Juniper has lived because of an organ donor. After waiting 6.5 months in the hospital, we finally knew our daughter would live after all. Until that moment, we didn't know if we could picture a future with our baby girl. We now knew our nightmare would be over and we'd get to take our baby home. We also knew on the other side of all this was another family whose nightmare was just beginning. They were constantly in our thoughts during the entire process. Who were they? What had happened to their child? What were they thinking and feeling at that time? Would we meet them one day so they could hear their child’s heartbeat again?”
To read part 1 of Joni's story, click HERE
To read more stories featuring people connected by the decision to say yes to the gift of life, go to The Waiting List on Facebook or Instagram. Register as an organ donor at Donate Life America
Together we will #endthewaitinglist one story at a time.
