#ene hc

[bloodsherry]

teen skk being teens together is so important to me. dazai dissociates after emptying a magazine into an enemy, and chuuya drags him home, washes the smell of gunpowder and death off him, and they play video games together.

chuuya loses a squad on a mission that goes wrong and spirals into despair (he’s doomed to lose everyone), and dazai takes him to the beach, where they roll up their pants to their knees and fool around in the water.

[bloodsherry]

isn’t corruption an act of love? chuuya gives himself completely to dazai every time he releases arahabaki, and maybe that’s why in beast, dazai makes sure chuuya never has to use corruption.

[bloodsherry]

The first time Chuuya calls Dazai “Osamu,” Dazai short-circuits. Chuuya doesn’t notice immediately, half asleep, waiting for the coffee to brew.

With the first bitter sip, and without his partner’s long arms wrapped around his waist, the realization hits him and red bursts onto his cheeks.

“Again,” Dazai whispers, shy but also with a hint of desperation.

Chuuya drowns in the intensity of his gaze.

[bloodsherry]

When Chuuya has a bad day, a really bad day, he doesn’t lock himself in his apartment with a bottle of wine; instead, he flies over the city. His mind drifts, his thoughts piling up uncontrollably, and he feels nothing.

Up there, far from everyone, he feels nothing, and that, more than anything else, numbs him. He loses himself. He isn’t Chuuya, because Chuuya, if he ever truly existed, died in a laboratory. He isn’t the boss’s right-hand man; the boss’s right-hand man doesn’t feel weak or insignificant.

He is nothing, not even Arahabaki’s vessel.

And when the world finally stops feeling heavy and suffocating, when he lets himself fall onto the roof of some building, somehow—and he doesn’t want to think too hard about why—Dazai is waiting for him. His touch doesn’t nullify him. It awakens him, and the wall Chuuya doesn’t remember building crumbles. Someday, the rubble will make him bleed.

[bloodsherry]

Dazai is a whiny brat when he has a cold. He’s unbearable, the worst patient in the world, and of course, he makes it Chuuya’s problem. He sneaks into his apartment, ransacks his closet, and wraps himself in the redhead’s blankets and clothes, littering everything with used tissues and demanding extra cuddles and hugs. Chuuya complains, but always with a small smile on his face.

[bloodsherry]

Dazai is about to crack a joke, it’s right there on the tip of his tongue, but the ring in his pocket holds it back. The weight of the words he’s been rehearsing for weeks makes his stomach churn. Chuuya is beautiful, like a natural disaster, and Dazai knows he wants to spend the rest of his life by his side, but the word “spouse” sticks in his throat, and his mouth tastes like ash.

He can’t help it. He ends up embarrassing himself by throwing up.

[bloodsherry]

Dazai likes to loll in bed, curling up under the covers and wrapping his arms and legs around Chuuya. Sometimes he buries his face in the redheaded’s back and wraps his legs around his waist. Other times, he presses him against the mattress. Chuuya complains more out of habit than real discomfort, and sometimes jokes about kicking Dazai out of bed.

Dazai leaves a trail of lazy kisses on the curve of Chuuya’s neck and shoulder. His fingers dance down Chuuya’s side and get lost under his pajama top. Chuuya laughs. A blush tinges his cheeks, and his heart races. He knows he’s not serious; Dazai is simply playing games to squeeze in a few more minutes in bed, but he indulges him.

The years have softened Dazai, and Chuuya loves to spoil him. He rests his hand on his head, tangles his fingers in his soft brown locks, and scratches his scalp. Dazai melts at the touch, letting out a low moan.

It’s domestic, and he loves it.

[bloodsherry]

When Dazai finds some notes scribbled in clumsy French, he frowns and curses his sentimental, pathetic slug under his breath, but of course the first thing he does is learn French himself. No, he doesn’t do it to help Chuuya, just to prove that he can do it better.