"i’m sorry, you know, just sorry." from moira... hehe....
amelie is alone. it’s a fact she’s grateful for but after all that time in the darkness, she wishes she’d made an effort to ask hanzo to hang around, if for a little while. she’s sitting — on the floor — not able to bring herself to sit on the couch after the talon fiasco. the weight of it still sags on her shoulders. a wince, her right shoulder still throbs. she wonders if it hurts as bad as she thinks or if it hurts this much because she’s making up for lost time. it tortures her to think on and she opts for staring at widow’s kiss, still propped where she’d put it when she stumbled in two nights ago. she hasn’t considered poking around, not even once. that’s common sense, she supposes.
she wants to sleep more. it’s impractical to do what she does: stretch out long on the floor on her left side, left arm extended out so she can rest her head on it. she’s glad she’s not privy to how cold she has to be. the fog…the quiet...whatever it is, doesn’t last. there’s something that creeps in the air and makes amelie’s muscles tighten in fear. fear, that all consuming beast she hasn’t been bound to in eons. she imagines heavy cables, body submerged in a tank full of water.
amelie pushes herself up with a quiet breath, walking fast (like a spider’s scuttle) to obtain the widow’s kiss. with its steady weight in her arms, she feels nearly at ease. when the knock on the door comes, it rattles through amelie like a gunshot. she wants to scream but doesn’t. she remembers the weight of her rifle in her hands, remembers its fire power. amelie doesn’t prod around for anything else or look through any windows. whatever is behind the door she’ll face head on. if something horrible happens to me, she thinks, then maybe i deserve it after all.
she readies herself, answering the door. it’s moira o’deorain at the end of widow’s kiss, much closer and more personally than the last time. it’s through widowmaker’s never faltering patience and discipline that the trigger doesn’t get pulled. amelie made a promise to angela. maybe being a liar could be worse than being a killer but it’s a pose that amelie can’t afford.
i’m sorry, you know, just sorry.
the apology whizzes passed amelie in favor of her paranoia. was moira followed ? it’s one thing for amelie to be at risk but wholly another for someone who helped her to be. if moira was followed, amelie will kill her on the spot no matter what she’d promised to angela. amelie levels her gun with more commitment now. she doesn’t need a scope to land a headshot.
“ you better fucking hope you weren’t followed, “ amelie hisses, chilled by the ice in her tone, “ because i’ll fucking kill you this time. “
amelie moves, pushing moira inside of the house.
i’m sorry, you know, just sorry.
anger overrides the paranoia. “ and what are you sorry for, hm ? say it. “ violet eyes go darker when she jabs moira with the end of her rifle.
“ are you sorry for lining your pockets for your research while i was an empty shell ? “ amelie’s voice remains even, quiet, “ wanting to better people with it while i was experimented on ? tortured ? having the nerve to ask how i felt ? is that what you’re sorry for ? ”
amelie walks a half circle around moira. she laughs, shoulders shaking. then a tremor runs through her.
“ do you think even that because you’re genuine … that means anything ? i hope you, and all of them, get to feel guilty for the rest of your lives. “ amelie pauses, considers. those lot are going to get the chance to feel guilty.
“ i should kill you. i want to kill you. for all the deaths i’ve endured, i think that would be a fair trade, cherie. “ amelie moves towards the glass table sitting as witness to all this, setting widow’s kiss down. there’s nothing else but an empty glass on the table.
“ but i won’t. because angela asked me not to. she thinks somehow that maybe you can change, learn something. i don’t know if you can. “
“ i just know after today, i better never see you again. because i’ll kill you moira. and if you go back to talon after this, you’re even worse than i thought. you better never let me see you again. now LEAVE. “
the last utterance is the loudest amelie has been during the whole exchange. amelie watches moira go for the door, leaving with little fanfare. amelie locks it after her, then screams. she can’t keep up with the tears as they fall.
