1/26/2026
A week. It’s been a week. I still know I’m not, yet feel I am responsible. I’m trying as hard as I can, but I have to do more, but if I do then I can’t do more. Judas is right, and I hate that. I’ll be useless if I push too hard. But this. This can’t be all I can do.
And Krill did it? Her own friend? She tricked her? Why?
…
I’m still thinking about killing. I’m trying so hard to be a better person, I’m trying to…to atone. And that doesn’t even feel close to being done. I’ve done so much. Is it ever okay to kill? They kidnapped her, they’re torturing her, and who knows what else? Does even wanting to kill them mean I’m bad? Can murder be justified? I feel awful for wanting it, and awful for thinking about it. I haven’t done anything, but I feel so shitty regardless.
…
I miss Emma.
















