It has been a long time since I've sat myself down in front of parchment... that may perhaps be a small lie. I've sat down once or twice-- perhaps three or four times? Everything ending in scribbles and tossed aside, feeling as if all that I wrote on the pages were not good enough to share with you. My last letter to you left me with heartache that I'm only in the beginnings of settling into... but I do not wish to linger on that long.
Zelda and I have been taking to reach out to the regions one at a time, find where Hyrule has thrived and where it has crumbled. She offered for me to stay behind when it was time to visit Rito Village and I would not be speaking honestly to you if I said I did not ponder on her offer. I cannot run away from our past, my regaining memories of us-- it was best for me to face them head on. While it is not easy to be step foot in the places I knew you once occupied... seeing how they changed without you there I am happy to have went. Kaneli was thrilled to see I had returned and had something he wished to gift me. The tears I withheld when he presented me with the Great Eagle Bow... the one you wielded, the one that you did not have time to obtain before fighting the blight. I wonder if you would have survived such a battle with your trusted weapon.
The bow now hangs mounted on the wall and I see it every day, too afraid to use it and ware it down with time. The tail of blue fabric that hangs from it struck a memory one night when I found myself staring at your bow. I cannot help but wonder if you remember this too? I am at odds if I wish you to or not with the great embarrassment I felt back then. Attaching a stray feather of yours to the bow you had gifted me and I was ignorant enough to not know what this meant in Rito culture. Yet even in my flustered attempted to remove it you insisted I kept it there, as comrades. That was a lie, wasn't it? You wanted me to keep because... well, I like to think you loved me too.
How I wished I had one of your feathers now. I would keep it with me always just like I did back then.
today i fought single rapier, case, buckler, and dagger against the captain, snoot (he/him), and a new fighter i’ll call smith (he/him). if you’re interested in hearing about such adventures in sca rapier swordplay, stick around! the rest is under the cut.
i did so well today! i was in the zone - two nights of good rest after a long while of not sleeping well was greatly appreciated, and payed off for sure. sir north was also present today, but as i’ve mentioned before, i don’t like to fight him.
as for things that might need work, fighting on the inside, and fighting someone with a longsword. i fought the captain - i fought case, she fought longsword - and although i got a solid couple of kills, i would like to actually be able to explain what worked and how i did it. it still feels quite foreign to me and i’d like to be able to dissect it better.
i have a lot to say for things i did well today! i enjoyed playing with so many weapons forms. fighting the captain in single sword is so, so challenging, but such a good learning process. she’s so damn quick and clever, killing me with both my own sword and her own by dropping it, catching it by the blade, and then stabbing me with it. dirty pirate tricks. i love them.
fighting case against longsword with her was very effective i’d say! once i saw she was bringing out the longsword i knew single rapier wouldn’t cut it (well, it would, but it would be ridiculously difficult). i am very pleased with those bouts. then we switched it up - i fought rapier and buckler, she fought case - and i did well there too! i very rarely play around with buckler, but i did good! it was essentially having an indestructible fist/forearm, which works well for me as i use my off hand a lot.
my bouts with snoot were so much fun! he doesn’t usually do fencing stuff but i’m so glad he did some stabbing with me today. he’s more of a heavy list fighter, so he enjoyed the challenge of the calibration difference. we both fought sword and dagger, which was delightful. still getting back in the swing of that form, so i enjoyed watching snoot and his less conventionally “rapier” fighting style.
smith had done very brief fencing in his youth but we started from the very beginning just to cover all the bases. he did so well! very good and mindful about calibration and point control, and i think he will do very well if he continues with us.
for next time i want to continue experimenting with different forms and fighting different people. i do specifically want to do a bit of longsword and - if one is available - cloak.
Jordan took a moment to catch her breath as she made it to the summit. It would have been faster to ride up on Pipa, but the old Lalafell felt the old bird needed a break and, thus, left her at the stables in Camp Bronze Lake and, armed with her axe and her "cheese knife", Jordan took to the hike.
The last time she went on this pilgrimage was several years ago, not too long after the Calamity. As soon as she was healed from the wounds she incurred at Carteneau and could get away from the rebuilding efforts, she made her way up the mountain.
As she left the relative safety of the camp, she took a look at the shoreline of Bronze Lake. Dotted along the surface of the water were the ruins of Nym. Jordan had always felt that these long abandoned structures, some still floating just on the surface, their once pristine white limestone covered in moss and age, always seemed placid and still. It figured after all: they were dead. Jordan thought she'd like to look half as serene when she went before she ventured further.
Thankfully, the pass at Zelma's run seemed clear. Normally she'd hear shuffling in the bush at the very least, but it seemed as though the usual kobold parties had taken a break or at the very least showed enough disinterest in a solitary, armed traveler without a fat caravan of goods to not bother.
Except for one. He'd been trailing her since she was barely a quarter malm through the pass. Out of the corner of her eyes, she spotted a young kobold boy, barely old enough to be part of his Order. The young kobold finally, after half a malm, jumped out in front of her, screeching.
"Leave, desist, away with you! This is our land!" the young kobold brandished a fairly well crafted sword rather clumsily
Jordan stopped, "Tch," she clicked her teeth, "I mean ye no 'arm, lad. Let me by in peace. I'm on a pilgrimage ta see the Wand’rer."
"No!" He rattled the short sword in his hand. "Lominsans are liars and not trusted. You journey in peace but carry weapons of war!"
"I'm not at right ta defend meself. Yer the one wavin' a blade about. Poorly, I might add." Jordan looked at the kobold again and gained pause. " 'ow bout I teach ye 'ow ta 'andle a weapon like an actual fighter?"
"No! You can't have, attain, acquire this blade!"
"Lad, I 'ave me own." Keeping an eye on the young man, Jordan kneeled down and pulled out a sizeable dagger from the inside of her right boot. She gripped the handle and let it rest easy in her hand, the blade up and slightly away from her.
"First off, lad, ye need ta work on yer footing. Yer bobbin' about too much and yer leavin yerself open, y'see?" She stayed still, trying to model the stance.
The kobold looked confused for a second unsure what to do. Jordan swallowed audibly, hoping the gambit would play out.
After what felt like ages, the kobold turned and tried imitating her. "In this manner, this way, this pose?" The kobols stood still, this time modeling the position.
Jordan left out a small sigh of relief and smiled, even as she shook her head, "close, but don't overextend yer arm. Ye have good reach, but if ye overextend, yer gonna be lopsided if someone came in close with a fist or a elbow to yer face. Keep yer elbow bent a bit so ye can..."
It was an hour and a half later when she finally made it though Zelma's Run into the more mountainous regions of Vylbrand. To the northwest, she could spy the smoke belching from the kobold foundries and the O'Ghomoro itself. That wasn't her concern today. In her youth, as part of the Indigo Squadron, she patrolled the mountains on the Northwest Edge of Vylbrand. These days, her job has sent her off to parts much further, most recently eastward to Ala Mihgo.
After a somewhat short hike, she reached her destination. Out of the way of any activity, the rock stood tall, at eighteen fulms, with a few jutting outcrops framing the face of the rock. Smoothed by hand, a large walking staff was carved into the rock. Moss and other signs of nature draped over the rock like a patina.
Jordan opened her eyes and looked again on the view. The same landmarks she saw from the Camp below were present on the lake. Further away and harder to note the details, but the whole was easier to grasp and the wonder of it all was still there.
Jordan sat down and closed her eyes, clapping her palms together in front of her.
She addressed the mark of Oschon, first with reverence before easing into speaking with the ease of afternoon tea, "Oh Wand’rer, let me tell ye about the places I've been since last we 'ad a chat, friend. Did'ye know there's a free city run by goblins and other freefolk? Almost got killed by dragons and then the Blue 'and, but 'twas worth it. Lovely piece of country. When I arrived, I was..."
the thumbnail looks like a very blurry figure with a hate edited on and a fleetwood mac album cover in the corner… i have no idea what to make of this
this video is a four second video of a looped clip of a dimly lit room with a featureless figure swinging their arms back and forth while against the kitchen floor plays.
the description reads:
sorry gus i fell and bled to death and amd back . Lol jay kay im .( Helllo!👋 You thinknyou know mr jarkle but ukyou DONT i KNOW HIM i MET HIM hes REAL and yueor NOT ! the real will wood . sorry will wood for taking your music and putting it in two of my videos i hope u can forgive me i gave yuo $7 in a livestream so i hope thats compensation enough . anywas support willw oods music carreeer . its not joever till its joever . i know where you livr. lby the way listen to half moon run they are . yeaehoo ! jole . help me help meim stuck in the basement help em
it’s like hies in some king of……
Uploaded March 8 2024
the thumbnail is a meme that says “i would go to active construction site if [images of sonic and the secret rings]”
it’s an eleven second video of a blurry thing that looks kind of like a shark? yelling?
description says “Hey gos”
Jon Arbuckle is ???? huh
Uploaded July 11 2024
the thumbnail is the background of the original jarkle video without anyone there
it’s a 40 second version if the original jarkle video without anyone there and without any music
the description says “okay don’t ask me for any more of this shit im OUTA HERE!!! revs up me motiercycle and makes a dust cloud”
in a response to a comment asking what the fat orange cat did to him jujiper says he eatsed him with a bunch of crying emojis
happy new Jankeeledse….FUCKIFFF
Uploaded Jan 1 2025
the thumbnail is a black and white image of shadow the hedgehog that says when guac is revenge
it’s a four second video of a blurry image of a face with audio that says “maria” in a weird deep voice and then “oh no” in an exaggerated high pitch voice
(im pretty sure these are both references to silly videos in sonic fandom?)
the description is extra incomprehensible:
it’s noew years abbayye!! abby….. thekast of is…. ITS SO FUCKING CSCARY I TRYEIED TO PLAY IT AND THE SCARYES (meteor emojis) !!!!! GEEAAAAYTTTHHH (so so many rat emojis then a salute emoji then so so may star emojis then cool emoji then hearts and meteors and oh my god jujiper please) He cums radiation jorldmmillerrrr joel killer more like!!!!! EERYOKES!!!! joelfycjmepleaseeeeeee (not me..!!!)
apparition jarkelle
Uploaded April 8 2025
the thumbnail is some miis with text that says Operation Mister Jarkle at the bottom
it’s a fifteen second video of the tomodachi life song operation robodachi with the lyrics changed and the speed edited to fluctuate
the lyrics: i pound my head against the kitchen floor help me im bleeding the title has never changed no one can stop mister jarkle
the description says THANK YOU lexi for making the fucked up song. i’ve edited
"[static] -ver- [static] -one- [static] Oh-fi-fi-fi-five oh-one two-si-si-six-oh-nine. Th-there's a- a- a base-base-base- [static] basement. All the d-d-d-doors lock from the insi-si-side. All of them. [static] The basement in this win-win-wi-windowless -"
My Nightmares and I Become Much Closer Than I Would Like
I give him a couple bucks and he hands me a bowl of corn soup. He seems to be waiting for something so I ask,
“So, how do I get to Wetaskiwin?” I fiddle with the spoon in the bowl. He doesn’t seem to be in any rush to answer my question because he stands in complete silence. It’s getting awkward so I look at the rustling field. I’m about to ask if it’s always that unnerving when he answers.
“You turn right at the edge of the drive and go straight until you hit the second road, then turn left.” He seems to be having an internal struggle between choosing to make eye-contact with me or staring at the soup in my hands.
“Okay, thanks.” I turn around and start to leave.
“Wait.” He grabs my arm. The corn around me starts waving back and forth furiously, but I can’t feel any wind. “Don’t you want to try the corn?” The field stops moving and he drops my arm.
There’s a weird feeling in my gut and I don’t want to stick around to explore it.
“Ah, I don’t really like corn. I’ll just save it and give it to my sister.”
That is the wrong thing to say.
“Please, I insist.” This seems to be very important to him because he’s moves to block my path. He rustles.
I really don’t want to try his corn now, and it’s not just because I don’t like corn.
I bring the spoon up to my lips and pretend to take a sip. “Mmmm, so good.” I say like I’m praising a four year old’s mud pie.
“Yep, this soup has definitely changed my mind about corn, so I’m going to go now.”
“No, I don’t think you are.”
Let me tell you, there is no appropriate time to watch a man dissolve into corn, but 10am on a Saturday is not it.
His skin peels back into stalks of corn. He shakes, and his clothes fall into a pile.
I don’t wait to see what kind of Goosebumps $#%! he’s about to pull, and high-tail it to the truck.
I guess I missed the unit in biology when they told us that plants could run, because when I look back, the Halloween version of Usain Bolt is right at my heels.
By sheer will-power alone, I make it back to the truck. But, Bolt’s stalky hand crams itself in-between the door of my car before I can slam it shut.
Luckily, it seems that corn stalks aren’t particularly strong, and I close it anyways with bits of plant flying up inside the car. I lock the door, and fish around for the key in my jacket pocket.
Sadly, it seems that I also missed the lecture where they tell us about the plant hive-mind as the bits of stalk stuck inside the truck coagulate together. While I’m busy swatting at one of them, what I believed to be the only one, another unlocks the door.
Nice.
The corn person grabs me with newfound strength and throws me to the ground. I think about my sister.
