#eplptfln

[eplptextsfromlastnight]

Text 024: A Fair Trade

Hela: Thor.

Hela: Brother.

Hela: You are not still upset are you?

Thor: We are not on speaking terms right now.

Hela: You cannot be mad forever.

Thor: You traded me to the enemy for a glass of wine and a cigarette!

Hela:

Hela: In my defense, I would have settled for just the wine.

[eplptextsfromlastnight]

Text 020: The Threat

Sif: LOKI LAUFEYSON I AM GOING TO KILL YOU.

Loki: You'll have to get in line.

Loki: There is a line.

Loki: You're #47.

Loki: I'm unsure of what I did to upset so many people this evening but apparently I'm on a roll.

[eplptextsfromlastnight]

[eplptextsfromlastnight]

Text 018: She Wants Me

Ororo: For the last time, no.

Scott: C'mon!

Ororo: N o.

Peter: Well that's that.

Scott: I just want to know what she thinks about me.

Jubilee: You could....ask her?

Jean: You guys do realize I'm a member of this group chat, right?

Peter: Oh shit.

Jubilee: 🤣🤣

Jean: Scott....words can't describe how cute you are.

Scott: Oh really?😉

Jean: But numbers can. 3/10.

Peter: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ororo: Roast him girl!

Jean: With that, I'm heading to bed. Talk to you guys later.

Jubilee: Scott? You there? Are you getting some aloe vera for that burn?

Scott: ...

Scott: She so wants me.

[eplptextsfromlastnight]

Text 003: Asgardian Groupchat

Nari: Alright 10s, an 11 is typing.

Eir: More like a negative 11.

Magni: First of all, I'm a 12.

Modi: How did I even get added to this?

Modi: Oh, and I'm a 15, easy.

Loki: Son, this is not how you start an important conversation.

Nari: Who said it was important?

Frigga: Should have known.

Nari: Hush.

Thor: I am a 100, boy.

Sif: When I got a phone, I was not prepared for such nonsense.

Sif: And I am a 102.

[eplptextsfromlastnight]

Text 016: The Wrong Person

Angel: Look I know you're expecting nudes but I need you to come kill this fucking spider PLEASE.

Azazel: ...Angel what.

Angel: OH MY GOD WRONG PERSON THAT WASN'T MEANT FOR YOU FUCK

Azazel: ...Would you still like for me to kill the spider.

Angel: I mean if you don't mind.

Azazel: It's no problem.

Azazel: So...you're a sexter.

Angel: Mind ya bidness.

[eplptextsfromlastnight]

Text 028: I Just Want A Sandwich

Halwyn: Guys can someone tell Rowan to cool it?

Zeke: What's up with her?

Halwyn: She had a dream I was a serial killer and now she won't let me touch any knives.

Jack: ...Did you try explaining to her that it was a dream and you're not a murderer?

Halwyn: No, I let her think it was all real I even dressed up.

Halwyn: OF COURSE I TOLD HER BUT SHE SAYS IT'S 'JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE'.

Rowan: DREAMS MEAN THINGS AND HAL CAN'T BE TRUSTED

Halwyn: I JUST WANT TO MAKE A PB&J.

Rowan: N O K N I V E S.

Zeke: If I have to hear Hal shout about sandwiches again all day I'm going to murder myself.

Jack: Same.

Halwyn: Well fine I guess I'll STARVE.

[eplptextsfromlastnight]

Text 022: Magmetus #2

Ragni: Are you still leaving Magni on read?

Admetus: No.

Admetus: I've simply started ignoring the messages altogether.

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Magni: YOU'RE TEXTING ADMETUS AREN'T YOU?

Ragni: ☑️Read at 2:21am

Magni:

Magni: REALLY?!?