i genuinely hate being an obscure kin. i’ve given up trying to find sourcemates because the one time i did, i stopped talking to them because i was scared i’d mess it up and be alone again. and now im still alone.
and on the topic of a different sourcemate that i strive to one day meet. i miss you, eleven. you mattered an insane amount to me. i devoted my loyalty to you and you solely, and now it’s come back to bite me, just like everything does. there is nothing i wouldn’t do to see you again, because the idea of being able to talk to you even a single time more keeps me going. you left me in that tower, you wanted to go and save her, and your decision was what mattered to me, because you hadn’t been able to choose the rest of your life. my wants to keep you with me didn’t matter in the face of your autonomy, so i let you have it. i selfishly regret it everyday. i miss you, eleven. and i love you too. (sorry for how vent-ish this became)
- erik, dragon quest XI
x
