Well... shit
I have been pole dancing for almost 2 years and I'm definitely not where I want to be or where I thought I would be... both talent wise and appearance. The first year I was progressing pretty fast and got in the best shape I've ever been in. Then I started teaching more and just became too busy and tired to focus on myself. I stopped taking as many classes and it sucked. Then I got a new job and started to teach less. I was almost never going to classes and it's so hard for me to motivate myself at home. Even at competition I did awesome but I could have done better and I definitely could have looked better. I finally got a pole at my house. I was slowly getting myself to practice at home more... until last night when the pole moved and I can't fix it and put it securely back in place on my own. So now I have to wait. I no longer teach at the studio I started at... I no longer have a place to go and dance whenever I want to... besides my basement. I am potentionally going to attend 2 studios in the area... maybe teach a little at one... But taking classes requires money. I love my job but I don't make a lot of money. I'm hoping people actually want to take private lessons with me because I need the extra money for sure. We are going to start putting on pole shows every few months. I hope that goes well. If it does that's an extra $100 or so that would be amazing. I have to remember I don't do this for the money though. I do this for me. I need to get myself fit and healthy. I want to be stronger. I want to compete at a higher level. I want to impress myself... and others. I need to hold myself accountable. I need to put myself out there in the world and have others rooting for me. I got this. My journey isn't over... a new one is just beginning. Off to a slow start but this will be good. I know it will. A year from now I will be so happy. I know I will... I hope. Just do what makes you happy and fuck everyone else. Do no harm but take no shit.
