A year ago today, Charlotte told me they had ‘appeared to have developed feelings for me’, and I stuck my hand in the air like a dork and told them I had a crush on them too, and then panicked in case that hadn’t been what they’d actually meant.
I knew I loved them when, in the middle of a long phone call with them, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I was smiling like a massive doofus. Or maybe it was when I told Moon that I had a weird urge to protect them, and she told me that maybe I liked them. I denied it, but it kind of stuck in my head. Maybe I did.
And oh gosh before they told me, I went on all those LGBT+ forums asking people what I was supposed to do, and I found those forums the other day and I’m so cute and nervous and fucking terrified and I just want to hug old me and tell me it’s going to be a journey, and it’ll have ups and downs, but it’s going to be brilliant, of course it is. And Charlotte’s the best part.
And when they asked to speak to me I let myself hope a little that they were going to tell me this. And I swear I could hear my heart beating, I was surprised they couldn’t hear it too. Charlotte asked me to cover my eyes, because they couldn’t speak whilst I was gazing at them so intently, and I did. I thought otherwise they must be able to see how I felt pouring out of my eyes, because I felt so obvious and I loved them so much and just sdsafefdsmklgfmdak
Then we both sort of talked for awhile because neither of us knew what to do because they hadn’t actually been expecting me to like them back and I hadn’t been expecting them to tell me. (Which is surprising because neither of us were very subtle.) And when I got home I rung them and we talked for a few hours and I can’t remember a single detail of what was said but we were dating and that was that.
SO TODAY IS A HAPPY DAY OKAY
And I love you a lot (to MACS0647-JD and back)
