summary: I basically took Isayama’s work, forced it into a romance story, and made Erwin the love interest. Commander meets cadet and they fall in love (not instantly though)
notes: very berry canonverse (but some events were modified to fit my narrative), wasn’t intended to be this long, but it all is in the details right?
content warnings: smut where it fits (or where I make it fit. Also, reader is NOT underage, so likewise, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, please.) slow burn (I really mean it. I’m not olympic diving into any form of smut for the first chapters.) no angst. I dislike angst. I would never. I could never. (Although angst can be somewhat subjective so take it with a grain of salt?)
wc: 3.7k
The Military Police headquarters loomed like a fortress of polished stone and iron bars, far too pristine for the rot festering inside.
You barely made it to the front steps before two men in crisp green uniforms blocked your way. Young. Stiff-backed. Overconfident. And very obviously enjoying themselves.
“Absolutely not,” the taller one said, planting a hand on your shoulder and shoving you back a step, just because he could. “No civilians. Commander Smith is under investigation.”
“He’s not—he didn’t—” Your breath hitched as you surged forward again. You didn’t recognize your own voice. It cracked under its own weight, thin and desperate to find an excuse to see him. “I need to see him.”
The shorter MP stepped into your path, a smirk curling his mouth like you were a joke only he understood.
“You hear that?” he said to his partner. “She needs to see him.”
His grin widened. “You a Scout, girl?”
“No—”
Not anymore.
“Then what are you?” His gaze dragged over you, slow and invasive. “His mistress?” He cocked his head. “Is he married? You don’t look like a wife.”
“Listen, I—” you tried again.
“Because if you’re either,” he drawled, leaning closer, shadows cutting his face apart beneath the sinking sun, “you oughta come forward. We’d be happy to take you in.”
The other one laughed. “Hell, we can even put you right next to him. Neighbors and everything.”
“Cute, right?” the first one added. “Romantic reunion behind bars.”
Your breath punched out of you.
And for a terrifying moment…
you actually considered it.
If that’s what it took…
If that’s what stood between you and him…
A voice inside you screamed stop, screamed that this wasn’t what he would’ve wanted, that he hadn’t burned everything down just to keep you safe for you to throw yourself into the fire after him.
But goodness, you missed him so much it hurt to stand upright. You needed to know he was alright somehow. Needed to know he was still…
“I am,” you blurted, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. If this was the price you had to pay... “I am, so just lock me up alr—”
“Hey!”
A sharp voice cut through your mistake like a blade.
“What the hell do you two think you’re doing?”
The soldiers stiffened instantly.
You knew that voice.
And so did they.
Hitch strode toward you, uniform immaculate, rank pins glinting in the dying light, far more pins than the last time you’d seen her. Her boots struck stone with the kind of authority that made men straighten before thinking. Her hand was clenched tight and angry around her bag strap.
“She’s a civilian, morons.”
“But—Officer Dreyse,” the shorter one stammered, “Commander Smith is—”
“Oh, I know exactly what Commander Smith is,” Hitch cut him off sharply. “And trust me, the last thing any of us need is you two provoking a scandal by manhandling some young woman in the street.” Her hazel eyes burned amber under the setting sun. “Unless you’re eager to receive a very special letter from Commander Dok reminding you of the oath you took to protect the people of this city.”
“No—no, ma’am.” They corrected themselves hastily, snapping to attention, eyes forward, backs straight.
Hitch let her gaze linger on them a second longer.
“That’s what I thought.”
Then she turned to you, expression softening, just barely.
There she was.
Almond eyes framed by long lashes. That familiar button nose you’d loved since your cadet days. Standing between you and disaster like she always had.
Saving you from yourself.
“Come on,” she murmured. “Let’s get you home before you do something stupid.”
You didn’t resist.
You couldn’t.
You hadn’t eaten in… a while. Days, maybe. You couldn’t remember.
Your legs finally buckled under you, and Hitch caught you just in time, looping an arm around your back.
Behind you, the MPs watched in silence now, no laughter, no bravado. Not with Hitch there. Still, when you were far enough away, their voices carried.
“Poor thing.”
“Bet she thinks he’ll want to see her.”
Something glass-sharp cracked inside your chest. Perhaps their words carried some truth…
Hitch guided you away from the headquarters, down the crowded street, out of the MPs’ sight before you completely shattered.
Night had settled over the capital like a heavy cloak, thick, oppressive, swallowing the last scraps of daylight as though the sun itself had fled the city, to never come back. Lanterns flickered along the streets, their orange glow too soft, too fragile against the dark pressing down on you.
Time was slipping through your fingers.
Every second felt stolen.
Every breath too slow.
Before he…
You didn’t let yourself finish the thought.
Your throat locked.
Your heart seized.
Your lungs stuttered for air.
And Hitch felt it.
She was a good friend.
She didn’t speak at first, just held you tighter, arm firm around your back like she feared you might shatter again.
“Hey,” she said quietly. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
But it was not okay.
You weren’t okay.
None of this was okay.
“What were you thinking?” she asked, but there was no bite in it. Only worry. “They could’ve locked you up.” She hesitated, voice lacking her characteristic spark. “And no one… no one could’ve gotten you out.”
You swallowed hard, staring at the cobblestones passing beneath your feet.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice barely a thread. “I’m sorry, Hitch, but Commander Erwin— they—”
Your voice faltered. You gathered what little strength your body had left and gripped her shoulders tight, forcing her to look at you. “If I don’t do something, they’re going to—”
Goodness.
“Hitch,” you breathed. “Please. Let me see him.” Your voice sounded so small you almost didn’t recognize it. “Just for a minute.”
She looked at you like you were a wounded animal she couldn’t save.
“I wish I could help you,” she said finally, voice softening. “Goodness, I wish I could do something. Anything.” She took a deep breath. “He’s a good man. He doesn’t deserve…this.”
“Where do they keep him?” you begged, your heart stabbed by every painful second that went by without helping him. “What have they done to him?”
Her face twisted, pain, apology, anger, defeat, all cramped behind her eyes. She opened her mouth. Closed it. Looked away toward the distant MP barracks as though the answer might magically change.
Then she exhaled shakily.
“He…” she struggled. “They beat him. Badly.”
You nodded, shards splintering behind your eyes, but you did your best to ignore the pain. You could cry blood later. But if you broke down now, in front of her, she wouldn’t tell you a thing.
“They moved him somewhere tight. No one knows where.” She spoke faster now. “They’re scared his men will come for him. Captain Levi especially.”
She let all the words spill from her mouth, so fast anybody would’ve found it difficult to understand.
But you did. Sadly you did.
Every single word.
“What are they planning to do?” you asked, forcing your voice steady, forcing yourself not to fall apart. Not yet.
She inhaled, like bracing for impact.
“They…they um. I don’t really know.”
“Hitch,” you tried again. The world a hazy mess around you.
“An audience before the king.” She surrendered, her brows furrowed, begging you not to press further.
“Hitch,” you pleaded, nails creasing her neat coat.
“Okay, okay, there’s talks of hanging him.”
Her words sliced right through the fragile composure you had left.
And then the world tilted.
You didn’t remember falling, only the blunt pain at the back of your head as darkness swallowed you whole, your body finally surrendering after days of hunger, uncertainty, and grief.
-
It was like waking from a nightmare.
You came to in a cold, burning sweat, heart hammering, breath shallow.
The ceiling above you warped and tilted, its familiar lines twisting into crooked shapes that made your already tender stomach churn. Somewhere nearby, the bell of the clock tower rang, each toll drilling straight through your skull, splitting your headache wider.
You didn’t know what hour it marked.
Morning. Evening.
You didn’t care.
You didn’t know how many days the world had gone dark. You didn’t know how Hitch had managed to drag you home, or how long you’d been lying here since your head hit the stone.
You didn’t care.
All you needed to know was whether he was still here.
Still breathing. Still with you, somewhere in this cursed, confined world you’d been born into. A world he had somehow made look beautiful.
And free.
You forced yourself up onto your elbows, the mattress dipping beneath your weight. Your head alone felt like a boulder, dense and unforgiving, and you knew lifting the rest of your body would cost you more strength than you had left.
You tried anyway.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
Your mother’s voice materialized beside you, firm, edged with quiet anger, the same tone she’d used when you were a child and had pushed yourself too far. She set the book in her hands down on your night table and rose from the chair by your bed.
“Mo—Mother, I need—”
“Shh.” She silenced you with practiced authority. “Here. Drink this. It’ll do you good.”
“Mother—” You tried to protest, but she was stronger than you now. Firm but gentle, she brought the cup to your lips anyway. The faint scent of chamomile clung to her fingers, grounding and maddening all at once.
“I need to see him,” you said hoarsely. “Where is the Commander?”
You were so tired of asking the same question. Tired of the silence that followed. Tired of feeling like a feather caught in a storm.
All you’d done was cry. Cause a scene. Collapse. Lie in bed.
What had you done to help him?
You knew that if the roles were reversed, he wouldn’t stop until you were safe. That was the kind of man he was. The kind whose absence left the world smaller. Narrower. You’d been born into the same small, caged existence. Same timeline. Same fragile life. So many people lived and died without ever meeting someone like him, taken by unforgiving illness, by peaceful sleep, by the cruel jaws of a titan. And somehow, impossibly, you had.
The realization both defeated you and set a stubborn spark alight in your chest.
You tried again, managing to swing both feet onto the floorboards before your strength gave out entirely.
Your mother rushed forward, catching you before you could fall.
“The Commander. The Commander. The Commander,” she repeated as she guided you back onto the bed, irritation slipping through. “Would you stop?”
Then her voice softened. Just a little. Just enough to make guilt prick behind your ribs.
“Please, darling.” She sighed. “What good has it done you?”
“Mother, you don’t understand—”
“Oh, darling, I do.” Her gaze held yours, steady and unwavering. “You’re in love with him. Love makes people reckless. It always has. Don’t pretend the world doesn’t understand that.”
She paused, letting the truth settle between you.
“He’s a grown man. A military commander of all things.” Her tone was calm now, too calm it was almost cold. “He doesn’t need a delicate city flower trying to save him. What could you realistically do for him? Be honest.”
Your eyes burned, raw and aching. You assumed it was from crying, though you couldn’t remember when you’d started again.
“You come home safely,” she continued, “after he went out of his way to protect you. And what’s the first thing you do?”
Her words cut, precise and merciless.
“You run straight back into the same hell he tried to spare you from.”
She leaned forward, reaching out to brush your hair back with aching tenderness, a sharp contrast to the steel she wielded with her tongue.
“Please,” she said quietly. “Talk some sense into that stubborn little head of yours.”
She wasn’t wrong. You knew that. If not even Captain Levi could help him, what chance did you have? If those guards had realized you’d been a Scout only days ago, if Hitch hadn’t intervened… where would you be now? What would become of you? Of your family?
“There’s someone here to see you,” she said suddenly, and you opened your mouth to protest but she was already moving toward the door.
“I’ll go check if he’s still waiting,” she added. “We weren’t sure you’d wake in time.” She hesitated, then glanced back at you. “Don’t do anything reckless while I’m gone, please. I’m begging you.”
Her voice echoed down the corridor as she disappeared.
You didn’t care.
There was only one person you wanted to see, and you knew he wouldn’t be walking through that door. Not now. Not ever if you didn’t think of something, and quick.
Moments later, you heard your mother’s heels again… and another set of footsteps beside them. Your throat tightened. You hoped, foolishly, that your visitor had already left.
They stopped outside your door. You heard your mother murmur something in a hushed voice, instructions, perhaps. A warning.
Then her steps faded away.
The door creaked open and a familiar face appeared in the doorway.
Leon.
He didn’t move at first. Just stood there like he wasn’t quite sure he was allowed inside your room, one hand still resting on the doorframe, the other tucked awkwardly behind his back. His hazel hair was neatly combed, too neatly, you thought. You preferred when he let the wind have its way with it. This version of him felt serious in a way that made your chest ache.
“Leon,” you breathed, your voice light as a feather. The sound of his name startled you both, so soft, so fragile, so unlike yourself. “Please. Come in.”
He smiled then. That smile you’d heard was known to melt hearts, the hesitant one, stuck between shy and confident all at once, never quite reaching its full shape. Poets always had a way of holding something back. Or so you’d heard.
He stepped inside and closed the door behind him, slow and deliberate, as if loud sounds might break you. Crossing the room, he sat where your mother had been just moments before.
“Your mother said you might still be sleeping,” he said quietly. “I— I wasn’t sure if I should wait.”
“I was hoping you’d already left,” you admitted, then winced. “I’m sorry, Leon.”
He let out a half-hearted chuckle.
“I always appreciate honesty, my lady.”
For a moment, he simply sat there, elbows resting on his knees. Neither of you spoke. But the silence wasn’t heavy. It was… compassionate. The sort that didn’t demand anything.
“How are you feeling?” he asked gently.
You almost laughed, surprising even yourself when you did.
“Are you certain you want honesty for that too?”
His lips curved, sad and fond all at once. “I walked all the way here, my lady. I think I can handle the truth.”
You exhaled. “Like I got trampled by a titan. And then the titan came back to apologize.”
“That sounds… unpleasant.”
“Very.”
He nodded solemnly, as if committing the information to memory. Then his gaze flicked briefly to the door, and he drew a steadying breath.
“Listen, my lady,” he said, lowering his voice. “I’m not sure I’m supposed to speak about this. Your mother insisted I didn’t.” A pause. “She threatened me with a ladle.”
“That sounds like her.”
“She’s terrifying,” he agreed, then softened. “But she’s been sitting with you all night.”
Your throat tightened, you were being so unfair to her.
“I didn’t know how long you’d been out,” he continued, quieter now. “I was worried about you, truly, but concern wasn’t the compass guiding my steps.” He stopped himself, rubbing the back of his neck. “But…I’m glad you’re awake.” He added quickly.
You studied him for a moment. The gentle lines of his face, the way he avoided your eyes when he was choosing his words.
“Leon,” you said quietly, “I can handle the truth.”
His gaze dropped to his hands. He turned his ring slowly, once, twice. A nervous habit, perhaps.
“Yes, I know. I just…” For the first time since he’d arrived, something in his expression shifted, not fear, not sadness, but restraint. Like he was holding something fragile behind his ribs, waiting for the right moment to set it down. “I wanted to make sure you heard this from someone who wouldn’t twist it, or hold it back from you.”
Your heart stuttered. You knew who he meant. She’d been sitting on that chair just some moments ago.
“He’s alive,” Leon said.
The world went still.
Your breath caught so sharply it hurt.
“Commander Smith,” he clarified softly. “He’s alive.”
You stared at him, unmoving. As if any sudden motion might undo the words.
“Your mother said that you thought he w—”
“But— they said— Hitch said—”
“They were going to hang him,” Leon said quietly. “That part wasn’t a lie.”
Your vision blurred.
“But they didn’t,” he continued quickly, afraid you might shatter before he finished. “Commander Pixis and Premier Zachary turned everything upside down. Exposed the false king. The whole government. It was planned, dangerous, but it worked.”
You shook your head, barely breathing. “You’re sure?”
“I know this reads like one of my novels, my lady, but I didn’t imagine it. I watched it happen,” he said. “Zachary made the announcement himself. Right here in Mitras. On the gallows.” His mouth twitched, something like awe slipping through. “They freed him. Publicly. Arrested the ministers instead.”
Your hands flew to your mouth.
Safe.
Alive.
Not swinging from a rope in some cold square.
“Leon, I—”
“I know, my lady.” He said gently, sparing you from your words.
A sound tore out of you, half sob, half laugh, and suddenly Leon’s features lost their comely shape. His forest-green eyes blurred into a smudge of color, like a painting left out in the rain.
“Oh, Leon—” Your shoulders shook, breath coming in ragged gasps, breaking apart in your chest.
He was on his feet instantly, sitting on the edge of the bed, hands hovering like he wasn’t quite sure where he was allowed to touch, if he was allowed to touch at all. Ever the gentleman. Even now.
You clutched at his sleeve, grounding yourself in wool and warmth and the undeniable truth that this moment was real. Leon wouldn’t lie. You were certain of that.
“He’s safe,” he whispered. “A little worse for wear. Hardly recognizable, if I’m honest. But nothing time won’t heal.”
You nodded, eyes burning, the room blurring around you.
“There’s more,” he added, quieter still. “He asked about you.”
Your head snapped up. “He did?”
“Yes.” A small smile. “Wanted to know if you’d made it home. If you were alright.” He hesitated. “I told him I wasn’t sure. That I’d come see you myself.”
Your chest ached in the best, worst way.
Of course, you thought. Of course that was why he hadn’t come himself. He was busy. Burdened. Pulled in a dozen directions at once. That explanation slid neatly into place, warm and comforting.
“I thought you should know,” Leon said as he stood. “Before folk start celebrating and pretending none of this ever happened.”
“Thank you,” you whispered. “For coming. For telling me.”
He hesitated, then reached out and squeezed your hand once. “Anytime.”
He was halfway to the door when he paused.
“Oh—and Orvud,” he added lightly, as if mentioning the weather. “It’s been… eventful. A rather unpleasant situation.”
Your brow furrowed faintly.
“It was handled,” Leon continued quickly, reassuring. “Messy, but contained. Just don’t go outside for now, not until they’re done cleaning. The city’s safe. Everyone is. That’s what matters.” A pause. “I’m sure it comes as no surprise, but we all have Commander Smith and the Scouts to thank for that.”
You nodded, the explanation settling neatly into place even though he had omitted most of it. It did sound like him, the Commander: charging headlong into chaos mere hours after standing on the gallows. That wasn’t surprising at all.
What was surprising was the silence that followed.
Not the next day.
Not the one after that.
Not even the week that came and went.
You heard things, of course, mostly thanks to Hitch, who came by after work almost every day, boots muddy, hair half-unpinned, bringing scraps of news like contraband. Your mother, for reasons you couldn’t quite understand, seemed hell-bent on never mentioning the Commander again. Not at breakfast. Not at dinner. Not even when you asked directly, about a knock at the door or a letter in the post. His name had become something fragile in her mouth. Something better left untouched.
So you listened to Hitch instead. And thanks to her you knew:
That he’d remained in the capital for a time.
That he’d returned briefly to the base.
That he was now stationed somewhere in Trost District, weaving together the threads of another desperate mission, something about Shiganshina, of all places. It seemed a special kind of insanity, to plan a return to a city that had become a sprawling tomb.
His idea, no doubt.
Who but a man like him would think it a 'great idea' to walk back into the jaws of the very nightmare that had started it all?"
You could picture it too easily.
You imagined him in his temporary office, sleeves rolled just enough to be improper, shoulders tense beneath his uniform as he leaned over the desk. Maps spread open where you used to smooth their corners. Documents stacked too high, annotations written in that precise, elegant hand you knew better than your own. You could almost see him pausing mid-thought, fingers pressed to his temple, eyes unfocused, not tired, never tired, just… thinking.
You wondered who stood at his side now. Who handed him reports. Who noticed when he forgot to eat.
The chair across from him, your chair, sat empty in your mind. Untouched. Gathering dust.
Waiting for you.
The memory was sharp with longing. Sweet. Painful. Like pressing your finger to a healing wound just to feel something familiar.
You waited for the letter that never came.
The restitution.
The summons.
The quiet acknowledgment that you still belonged there, at his side, helping him shoulder the weight of the world.
Days passed. Then more days. Then weeks.
And slowly, the explanation you had so carefully built for yourself, that he was busy, that he would come when he could, that this silence was temporary… began to fray at the edges.
It stopped soothing you.
And for the first time since you’d allowed yourself to hope, the quiet stretched long enough to feel like absence.
-
next chapter
Hope you enjoyed this chapter🫧 you can support my work at ko-fi/missbubblesoda
𝓖enre. angst. 𝓢ypnosis. fighting with some of the aot characters over something stupid before leaving for a mission, but never getting the time to clear it up. 𝓒𝓦 . major character death.
𝓝ote. I wrote for some of the other characters too but I can only add 10 pictures :( lmk if you want those!
--_'°~=-.--
this is so bad and probably has a gazillion spelling mistakes but I had some inspiration to write and I feel like I have starved you all for soooo long so it was about time I posted something 😓
attack on titan spoilers s1-s4, canon universe, erwin x reader, series, fluff, angst, eventual smut, character death, slight age gap, first aid reader x commander erwin, afab reader, conversations about having children, grief, depictions of death and injury.
Are you on your way home? Your shoulders look heavy. Am I being too daring? After witnessing your home be reduced to nothing but rubble during the fall of Wall Maria, you set out to train as a nurse, aiding those who find themselves hurt and need to rely on others for help. Your life is dull but you make the most out of it.
After a close call on one of their campaigns, the injured soldiers of the scout regiment are brought to the nearest hospital for treatment. The hospital you just so happen to be training at. And once you cross paths with the man in charge of the scout regiment of the military, Commander Erwin Smith, your world is changed forever.
A series which follows Erwin's love story with you over the course of Attack On Titan. From the day he first laid eyes on you, to the day he married you, to finally, the day he died with you as his final thought.
CHAPTERS
CH1: "Outside the Walls." WC: N/A
MORE COMING SOON!
31.08.25: there's truly not enough erwin smith fics in the world and thats why im writing this bc i love him so much, my next series will probably be hange, nanami, van zieks or aoi todo bc i have ideas for them >< chapter 1 soon hopefully
You: *waking up, in a medical tent lying on a cott. You see Erwin sitting beside you.* Commander..?
Erwin: Thank goodness. I was worried one of our best was fallen..
Erwin (internally): Please, I'm begging you to never scare me like that again. Yes humanity needs you, but I'm terrified of how I need you far more. Forgive me, I know I'm being selfish.. but gods above, I've never been more happy to see you wake up.
You: Must you be so cold towards me? I've been nothing but kind to you, Erwin.
Erwin: Kindness grants you no favors. You're sorely mistaken. Dismissed.
Erwin (internally) : I'm sorry. I want to let you in, I want to be close to you, more than anything. I wake up every day, waiting to see you again. I pray every night for your safety, but in order to do that, I can't let you pursue me. I won't ever be the cause of your tears, I won't allow it. I'll satiate myself with having the privilege of seeing you when I can.
You: Have you ever been in love? Or had someone special to you, Erwin?
Erwin: With my dedication to my work, I've never found the time. What about yourself?
Erwin (internally): It's you. For as long as I have known you, it's been you. You haunt me. You have weaved yourself into every part of my mind, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Tell me you feel the same. Please, I'm going mad over this.
Erwin: Have you any idea how perfect you are? Do you know how insane I am over you? I forget myself every single time you're around, and it infuriates me that you think so little of yourself.
You: Erwin.. I.. I had no idea,
Erwin (internally): Shit, I said too much. ABORT. ABORT.
You: I actually think.. I think so highly of you. And I don't mean just as my leader. I'm sorry if I'm misreading or overstepping boundaries, but..I adore you, Erwin. Endlessly.
In which, after a very close call with death, your boyfriend of many years, proposes to you…
Set during the very end of season 2, angst, language, major fluff, established relationship, mentions of blood and gore.
Sun beams illuminated the room, showing that morning had just kissed the world. You in the medical ward next to the man you loved. Sleep hadn’t found you last night as you waited and waited, and waited. Erwin smith had nearly met death just a few days ago, and there was nothing either of you could do to erase that fact. Nothing to mask the truth that your lover had lost a significant part of him. That, despite his heroics in the battle to retrieve Eren, he had been handicapped.
His right arm had been suddenly taken into the mouth of a huge titan. You remember the horrific terror you had experienced as you watched from your horse, still feeling the adrenaline rush from Erwin’s speech literally seconds before.
The nasty creature didn’t even have the slightest decency to bite the arm off for Erwin, he had to slice it off himself. You remembered your brain shifting focus as you leapt off your horse, after Erwin and that titan. Anger burned through your veins as you slashed through its nape, killing it with once vicious blow. It’s scream was bloodcurdling and you almost had to cover your ears due to the pitch.
Once you landed, you rushed to the man you so desperately love and had loved for years. His blood was spattered on the vibrant green grass in a terrifying contrast.
“Erwin!” You cried out, crouching on the thankfully soft ground.
“I need to stop the bleeding.” Erwin grunted out
“I’ve got it, but I’m going to need you to sit up so I can do it more efficiently.” You said, suddenly feeling more focused.
He followed your orders as he struggled to get his now incredibly injured body up. You held him to you as you took the lace from your left boot and tied it around his arm enough that you could see the bleeding slow.
“I need to get back in there!” Erwin proclaimed as he used your body to get his in a standing position.
“No the hell you don’t!” You snapped. “You’ve given enough!” You gestured to his right arm that was now no longer there.
“I’m the commander, my love.” Erwin spoke slowly, as he took his last remaining hand and placed it softly on your now tear stained face.
“But you’re also just a man, my man.” You cried, holding his hand to your face.
“I know, and I will always be yours. But I cannot leave these people without their commander.” He spoke in shallow breaths
“I know.” You reluctantly replied. “So I will be right there with you.” You added, placing a soft kiss onto his familiar lips.
The memory from just a day ago kept you up like no other nightmare you’d experienced. You’d seen so many people die or come close to it. You’d been witness to the most horrible creatures and slain plenty of them. But watching your love nearly being taken from this world, shook you like nothing ever has.
So, while he rested, you watched him. You made sure that he was breathing and that his pulse was steady. He still hasn’t woken up, but you didn’t want to push him, he did just lose his arm.
A few hours went by and you were still there, only now your hand was in his remaining one, making little circles on it. Hange and Levi came to check up on him a few times, but each time Erwin didn’t wake. Your heart was beginning to hurt more as you watched him.
“Erwin, honey, take your time, but know that I miss you.” You whispered softly as you kissed his cheek.
A week went by and still you waited. There were a few times that you had to leave him alone. But every time you left to shower, do some paper work, or talk to someone, you came back. You’d aways come back for him and you just hoped that he’d come back to you now.
“Y/n.” A groggy voice called out
“Hey.” You cried out feeling so incredibly happy to see those stunning blue eyes of his again.
“I- how long have I been dreaming.” He spoke making you laugh.
“Too long, but I’m glad you’re here now.” You replied as you kissed the hand you were holding. “I’ll get you some water. Can you sit up for me?” You questioned.
You helped him sit up once you realized how much he was struggling. Once he was up, you quickly grabbed the water jug and helped him take a much needed drink. He chocked a little on the water but quickly caught his breath.
“Thank you.” He whispered as he looked at his missing arm.
“Erwin, how are you feeling?” You asked even though you knew the unfortunate answer.
“I feel like I’ve been made less than.” He replied sadly, eyes not meeting yours.
“You’re not less than. You’ve had an unexpected change, but it’s nothing you can’t work around.” You reassured as you softly grabbed his face, making him look at you.
“I love you.” He spoke, placing his forehead on yours.
“I love you.” You said as you kissed him.
It was a soft and tender kiss, filled with unspoken desire and sadness. With his only arm, he pulled you into his body, deepening the kiss. You moaned softly at the action, but kept the kiss as soft as you did before. Erwin pulled away and placed his forehead back onto yours as he breathed in your scent and took in your warmth.
“You’ve been here the whole time, haven’t you?” He asked, looking at your lips.
“Of course, where else would I be?” You spoke as though it was obvious.
“Hmm. Y/n, I need to ask you something and I want you to have an open mind.” He suddenly spoke seriously.
“Of course.” You replied as you sat up straight to look at him better.
“This has been on my mind for a very long time. With recent developments, I fear I have no idea how much longer I have left.” Erwin started and you could feel yourself starting to become slightly nervous. He then grabbed your hand, which made some of that nasty feeling go away. “I have loved you for most of my life.” He whispered as you noticed tears pricking his eyes. “Y/n, will you be my wife? Will you marry me even though our lives are uncertain?” He finally spoke, looking at you with pleading eyes.
“Oh Erwin!” You cried out as you felt happy emotions overwhelm you. “Of course I will! I’ve been yours since the moment I met you.” You added, crashing your lips back on his.
You broke the kiss with a massive grin gracing your features and Erwin did the same. You then hugged him, careful not to hurt him. He hugged you back with pure desperation as he breathed you in. This world was so very cruel and the two of you had been through so much hell together. However, despite it all, you found each other. You both had found love in this strange world and no matter what else was thrown at you, you’d always have each other.
“I love you Mrs.Smith.” Erwin spoke as he kissed your cheek.
“And I love you, husband.” You replied, excited to plan your wedding with the man you so desperately loved with every fiber of your being.
Thank you so much for reading!💜 This idea came to me in the middle of the night, lol.
Please feel free to like, comment, reblog, and follow!
Click HERE to see what I’ll write for and HERE for my master-list.
•I do NOT own any characters except y/n and any OC’s•
*author note* so this story has two endings : one with levi and the other with erwin which I will be posting separately later
So i twisted some of the facts and thing about titans ok?
"this" means talking
"this" means thinking
Hope you enjoy!
"Alright... Calm down, calm down there is no reason for you to be scared, Even if you are physically a bit weak but on the brighter side... got the brains.. Besides.. That's what you've always wanted, right?"
You have always wanted to be in the survey corps Even if you were considered physically weak and even were your rank was among the lasts
But you've always had a passion for saving people
Today was the training day, which is the worst for you, why you ask?
Well... Because you'd get your ass beaten almost every day unless you snuck out the training because as i said before you are not the best in the physical... Range
The vets (erwin.. Hange.. Levi.. Mike) almost feels pity for you every time
The doctors in the infirmary are basically your best friends, you see them more than you see your comrades basically...
Today you stood in front of Max (i just made up a random name just bear with me) and that is bad
Max is like... The bear of the corps, he graduated from the top 10 and is such a big foot standing at 6'6 while you were just a (insert height), and also is known for the ass hole he is that he never hold back
You gluped "this is gonna be bad, i am definitely going to the infirmary again today"
You internally sighed "this is gonna be like.. The 3th time this week and we barely even passed half of it"
You internally groaned and watched him get into the fighting position and you did the same
"if i were able to land at least a punch or two that would be good... Probably"
And as expected.. You got your ass kicked... Again
But this time, what you didn't know is that the higher ups were also watching what was happening and happen to stumble across your... Performance
"this brat is not gonna last even 5 minutes outside the walls" levi said "you should discharge them before they become a problem to both them and the others"
"yeah.. I'll call them today to see what I can do.." erwin said after a bit of silence
"aww such a shame! She's got such a lovely brain!" hange whined
"yeah.. To be eaten by a titan" levi sarcastically said
Hange Just grumpled while mike stayed silent what you leave the Ground to go to the infirmary because apparently, that Jackass has given you some harsh bruises
At late afternoon the commander called you into his office
You walked into his office shaking of what is about to come
"come in" a muffled voice answered after you knocked on the door
You opened the door and saw commander erwin sitting behind his disk with captain levi sitting on the leather couch on the corner of the room with his hands crossed and one leg over the other
"please sit" erwin said pointing at the chair at the other end of the desk
You sat completely nervous in front of the chair
And you heart almost stopped beating after he begins speaking
He wanted to discharge you
He found you useless
You quickly responded "b–but sir! I can promise i can be of use! I–I maybe weak physically b–but i can slay a titan! I–i can even help with the injured on the battlefield!" You said trying to give your self at least a chance
You need a chance to prove yourself!
"brat you do realise that the next expedition is coming up next week right? You don't want to die next week now do you? You already passed the one from couple of weeks ago because of your ankle"
That's right.. You twisted your ankle one day before the expedition a couple of weeks ago so you could go, but this time you will! You can't also pass this one...
"b–but i won't!" "how do you know that?"
"i don't.." "but I do know obe thing.. That i am sure that i'll be of use for you, sir! Whether it be with injured, or even the hourse! A–and if you are worried about the paperwork and the letters if i died or got injured you'd have to send for my family don't worry! I–i don't have anyone waiting on me!"
"it's not the paperwork cadet, it's about your safety, we already lose enough as it is, we need more too add into the already growing pile"
It's harsh... But it's true
"b–but i promise sir! I won't be of any hinder to mission, please sir just give this chance to prove myself"
You stood up fast and put your hand over your heart while bowing down
"p-please sir! If i was of any burden or hinder to the mission, y-you can discharge me!"
After erwin though for a bit, your brain and your medical knowledge can be of you well not if you are dead
He finally sighed and agreed of letting you go the expedition on the condition that if you were a hinder to the mission you get discharged the second you come back if you even came back
The day of the expedition
Finally you were out the gates for the first time in your life
The expedition were on a place where they first were able to reach the last expedition but weren't able to go deep because guess what they also discovered.. Yup, this place is filled with titan, it was up a piece of the ground that was higher than the rest
Most who tried to go there were killed almost instantly
Aaaaaand.. We are going there! Yay!
The soldiers first went ahead and tied a robe up to that place in case there was anyone injured and they needed to get to him quickly
It was such a high place
Just then commander erwin shouted at us to start moving
The plan was for half the soldiers (including me) to go up there and try to explore the place with captain levi
We can already hear and feel the footsteps of the disgusting gigantic creatures rooming around
"Alright... Take a deep breath"
"I mean... Al you have to do is to not die and try to save as many people as possible"
"you are not ordered to fight... Which is a good thing"
You said trying to keep yourself from fainting already feeling the cool sweet on the back of your neck
"Alright.. I mean... It can't be worse than that time where a titan came and swiped almost all your team"
...
I lied..
It can be worse than that time
Because this time...
The titans really swiped all your teammates and who are not dead are severely injured..
And captain levi..
Captain levi got pushed away by an abnormal trying to save us and now he is god only knows where
"fuck..." you hear very faint whispers from underneath you
"Come on (f/n)! I know it hurts but please hold on!" You said putting more pressure on his wound
And your friend (f/n)...
He was one of the severely injured soldiers..
His stomach was bitten by a titan but he was sav–freed from its hold as captain levi killed it before he got swiped away...
He was one of the if not the only real friend you've got since you got in..
And probably the only one that believeed in you
"come on (f/n)! You can make just hold on a little longer! Don't close your eyes!"
He won't make it
You both know that too well
He has already lost so much blood and is losing even more...
It's a miracle that he is still breathing until this moment
You have to get him out of here!
The robes!
But it's too dangerous and even though it's almost sunset titans are still active and–
"(f/n)? (f/n)! No no no no no please no! "You started shaking him incase he can wake up but it's over...
You put your two fingers on his neck, checking the pulse
Nothing..
Just cold mixed pale, red and blue skin, and very empty eyes looking at the sky...
Closing them with your shaky red and brown hand from the mix of blood and mud, You see tears pouring down before you feel it
You looked back from the hole in the tree your hiding in, still can feel those disgusting things footsteps
You took in a couple of shaky breaths with your eyes filled with tears
"what is it you want from me?" You asked nothing
Drawing in a couple mlre of breaths before continuing "what is it you want with me?"
You bit your lip, sniffing a bit and wiping your nose with the back of your sleeves
"I don't understand.."
"I cant hear you"
"HELP ME!". "HELP!" "PLEASE SOMEONE!"
You snapped your head to the direction of the sound
"HEEEELLPPP!!!!"
You took a look of determination on your face
"Alright... Now i hear you.."
You took off running silently into the bushes
You have already took off your ODM gear since the gases were empty and it will only weight you down
You looked to your left and saw a couple of unconscious (possibly dead) soldiers
But wait you saw one of them moving
You looked over to see if any titans were nearby
You quickly took off to help them
"harry! It's y/n"
You quickly took a look over them
And opened your medic bag and pulled out a roll of morphine to numb the pain
He doesn't look like he is bleeding out but he is still in pain
He was probably thrown off his his horse
I have to get him down there quickly
"we gon' fix you up, you just need to keep breathing, okay?"
He just groaned in pain and nodded
You quickly gave him the morphine and pulled on his collar to drag him over to where the robes were
While you were dragging him you felt someone hold at your leg
"help.. Please.. Help me"
He had a deep gash on his chest
"don't worry!" You quickly pulled out a cloth and pressed it to his chest
He groaned from the pain, "keep putting pressure on it! Don't worry i'm coming back!" "okay"
You quickly continued your way to the robes
As much as you wanted to also take him with you both him and Harry in one go you could barely drag Harry alone
"we're at the edge, Harry"
You finally made it
You tied the robe and made it the it has two big holes not one and made him wear it
"You have to trust me now, bud"
You quickly pushed him off the edge, holding the other side of the robes and putting around a tree bunk
You hisses as the robes kept burning away at your skin and trying to hold Harry's weight and dangling him down slowly until he reached the ground
A couple of soldiers noticed him once he got down and hurried up to him
Good
You quickly came back looking for the one with the gash on his chest
Hiding behind a tree to watch out for the titans you quickly noticed something wrong
One titan he was starting off to... Light?
No it was probably fire and the fire probably came from one of the damaged ODM gear
But that's weird...
The one you were coming to save... He was obviously alive and breathing and yet he didn't make a single move to go grab him or even look at him
He was just staring into the fire and when he finally moved we both held our breath
It wasn't towards him, it was towards the fire...
That's weird..
As you waited for the titan to get as far way as concidered safe you wrote what you saw in your notebook
You quickly took off to save him and bring him to edge where you did the same thing
...
"one more.. Help me get one more"
You said breathlessly as you laid down after bringing another one to safety
The was number.. 13? 16? 25? 31? i think?
You've already lost count of how many people you have dangled off that robe to safety
You have been doing this for hours...
God.. You looked at your hands completely torn and bloody from that damn round robe
But is doesn't matter..
As long as you are saving people you don't care even if you lost both of your hands
"God, please help me get one more.."
And the whole night went on like this
"God help me get one more..."
Robes
Pain
"one more.."
Blood
Titans
"help.."
Groan of pain
No pulse
Pulse
"please help me..."
Dead
Alive
Injured
"help me get one more.."
Robes
And it goes on and on
And speaking of titans..
Ivve discovered quite a few things about them
1_ they are blind
Well.. Not blind blind but the can see better when the thing is moving or bright like fire or the smoke signals, but not all the time.. Because
2_ they can smell your fear
Technically, that probably explains why most of the people that has already given up the titans didn't bat them an eye because they didn't see them
Well.. They are theories, but i think they could be true considering how you are still alive
You wrote all those in your notebook
You want to give it to someone trustful so that if you died at least someone can know these valuable informations
The sun was begging to rise as you can see already a it's blue rays in the sky
Wow.. You already spent the whole night alive
You have to be extra careful..
Titans will start to wake up..
You had swiped almost the whole place and now started to look for captain levi
You were about to lose hope of finding him until...
"Captain!" You exclaimed quickly running over to him still cautious if titans
"brat?..."
"Captain don't worry it'll be alright..." you quickly inspected him
Broken leg.. Head injury.. And there is a blood trailed up the tree ge was leaning on
"you are... Still alive..?"
"huh.. Well i guess miracles do happen cap" you chuckled as you layed the survey corps green cloak on the ground and pulled him on to it but of course not before bandaging his injuries as best as you could
He groaned as you layed him on the cloak and was about to drag him to the edge but then you felt gigantic footsteps
You looked up to see a titan coming towards the both of you
"brat..." he said weakly and then told you to hide quickly
You ignored him and took a look around and found a little hole in the ground
You quickly dragged him to that dent in the ground
"Captain, don't worry i know what i'm doing just take a deep breath"
"Brat what are you–" you quickly threw him in the hole and covered him with dirt only leaving one eye
"don't worry, just trust me"
The titan was getting closer
You quickly took two blades and made up a fire by rubbing them harsh together and light up a stick of wood full of leaves
You held it up quickly waving it around catching the attention of the titan as it became a lot closer
You quickly threw it faraway into the abyss
You turned around back to face the titan with a stoic look on your face then close your eyes
Happy thoughts
Think of anything
Don't be scared or you are dead
You waited until the titan had passed almost stepping in you
Levi's eyes widened
How did she...?
After the titan fell you quickly ran over to him digging him out of the dirt
"how did you...?"
"I'll explain later, now just hang on"
You quickly layed him on the cloak and took off
When you reached the edge you quickly wrapped the robe around him but before
"Captain, I need you to hold on to that for me" you gave him your notebook
"I really need you to keep it safe for me, If you can just... Give to section commander hange"
"there are still people out there who needs to be saved"
He looked at you and slowly nodded
"you better... come back alive brat.."
You didn’t answer
Just gave him the notebook and lowered him down the cliff
Then went back to see if anyone was still alive
… meanwhile with the scouts few of hours ago
Erwin was sittings in his tent reviewing some maps and brainstorming ideas how to make up for what happened
The loss was unlike anything they have ever faced before
Aside from the fact that humanity’s strongest soldier ; Levi Ackerman is missing
He stopped to take a breather for a second running’s a hand through his well combed hair
Just then Hanji came bursting into the tent “Erwin!”
“What’s is it Hanji?” He says not looking away from the map,he didn’t have time for this–
“You have to see this” he looked up when he heard Hanji speak in her voice”serious” tone
That means something is important
Entering the medical tent, to say he was surprised was an understatement
He was flabbergasted
Soldiers, dozens of soldiers
Injured soldiers
Ones he has written in a paper that they were dead
Is right there in the tent getting treated
He looked at Hanji for an explanation
“They have been coming all night, someone up there is somehow surviving with the swarm of titans and even helping the injured “
“And who are they” asked Erwin
Hanji was about to answer when one injured soldier answered instead
“Y/n l/n”
Erwin immediately looked at him not believing what he said one bit
“She’s been out there helping everyone of us, I saw her with my own eyes”
Some of the still conscious soldiers agreed
“And who is she with”asked Erwin again
“No one, she is all alone”
erwin stood still for a bit not quite believing them ,
Then walked to the hill and summoned all the left soldiers
“Prepare more bandages , beds and medical supplies for the injured soldiers coming down! I want half of you to take care of the injured and the rest guarding the place in case any titans nearby!” Erwin commanded
“Erwin! Shouldn’t we send more soldiers for help?”
“I will but not now Hanji, most of the soldiers are either injured or tired , sending anyone right now will be suicide”
Hanji seemed deep in thought for a minute and then nodded
…Back to present time
“Is that…captain Levi?!” A soldier saw Levi about to be lowered down the cliff
“SECTION COMMANDER HANJI!”
The soldier immediately called for Hanji as she emerged from the tent
They immediately carried Levi to the tent to get him treated but not before he gives Hanji the notebook and whispered “alone” to her.
…back to you
After you made sure to gather everyone who’s heart was still beating ,you immediately took the last one with you and lowered yourself down the cliff where everyone gathered to see the one who saved all these soldiers
You looked back and flinched you saw everyone looking at you like you came back from the dead
… well basically you did…
Walking in between the two lines of flabbergasted people looking at you like you’ve grown a second head and lowering down the hoods of their cloaks was surly a sight for sore eyes
Especially as your steps are unstable , your clothes are battred and ripped, filled with dried blood ,dust and dried clay much like your face, with your commander waiting for you face unreadable as always but there is a glint of pride in his eyes or maybe you are just imagining things
Reaching him and standing directly in front of the commander of the scouts you don’t know what to say or expect
…silence
And then … a salute
The commander of the Scouts just saluted you followed by the other soldiers standing
Is this a dream?
Your knees are buckling from underneath you threatening to fall… which you did…
You passed out from exhaustion right into your commander’s chest
Never fall in love with the Devils (Erwin Smith x Reader)
It has been a year since the end of The Rumbling and a few years since his death. You were in a small museum that contained the heroes of Paradis.
Walking around, you saw a portrait of him. The man you once and still loved.
Erwin Smith, 13th Commander of the Survey Corps.
He looks beautiful, you thought.
You walked closer to the painting to see its full glory. You never got to say goodbye and apologize to him. You were sent to Paradis long before the titan shifters were, making you a lot older than the kids.
"I'm a traitor and I do not regret anything."
You did in fact regret everything. You regretted saying those as your last words for him. You regretted not being able to say 'I love you' to him. You regretted that you weren't able to live in a cabin with him near the sea with your 2 children. You regretted turning your back against him.
The tears surfaced up to your eyes as you stared at him longer. You broke into a quiet sob and lowered your head, not being able to look at his painted eye any longer.
"I'm sorry, my love. Please forgive me." But you knew you could never be forgiven.
His cerulean eyes stared at you as if it was alive—as if it was thinking whether it should forgive you or not. The same eyes that once looked at you with love and adoration—the same eyes that held heartbreak when you told him you didn’t love him and that everything was for the purpose of Marley.
You lifted up your head to stare at his painted figure with your teary eyes.
Oh, how you wish you could turn back time.
You could’ve lived the life you wanted with the man you love. The man who promised you a life of marriage. The man who would’ve been a great father to your children.
You start thinking that maybe your fate would’ve been different if you just stayed consistent with that one promise to yourself—the one that you broke.
