An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
“Thy body is a map, and it tells me many stories."
-
I finally finished my fic for the RandJWeek challenge at @rjficexchange! It is a sorry attempt at Elizabethan English combined with some escalawrence and some pillow talk, because my brain was unable to come up with anything else for these two secret softies. And I am really grateful to this challenge for motivating me to overcome my writer’s block and finally create an actual text!
Who said “I love you” first: technically Lorenzo used these exact words first; but Escalus’s way of demonstrating his love rarely involves saying “I love you”, so in a way he was the first to confess.
Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background: Lorenzo. Escalus’s background is a picture of his nephews (and later, it changes into a group picture with the four of them together - Mercutio, Valentine, Lorenzo and himself).
Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror: Lorenzo, the ultimate dork.
Who buys the other cheesy gifts: Escalus, even if it may seem surprising.
Who initiated the first kiss: Escalus.
Who kisses the other awake in the morning: they both do, depending on who wakes up first. But usually it’s Escalus, since he’s the early bird. xD
Who starts tickle fights: no one really, but they both get dragged into them by Mercutio. Or Valentine.
Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower: Escalus doesn’t really bother, he knows that Lorenzo won’t mind; whereas Lorenzo does ask, because Escalus is way more uptight than him when it comes to personal boundaries. xD
Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch: Lorenzo, when it’s his day off; and definitely not Escalus, since it’s a bit difficult to turn up in the middle of a hospital and bring lunch to a surgeon who’s in the middle of yet another operation (and Lorenzo is exactly that).
Who was nervous and shy on the first date: uh, they didn’t really have a proper first date, they just met up as friends from time to time... and only realised that those meeting could be considered as dates when they were well into their relationship. So there was hardly any reason to get nervous at all... which didn’t stop Lorenzo from being nervous as hell when he decided to set up a surprise date for Escalus at some point after they had confessed their love to each other. All worked out well, though! xD
Who kills/takes out the spiders: ...Lorenzo. He usually keeps them alive though. Escalus dislikes spiders and will kill them on sight, but only the small ones; and he’ll run walk away from the large ones.
Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk: Lorenzo. When Escalus gets drunk enough to lose self-control it’s usually when he’s in an extremely bad mood, and even then he just goes really quiet and moody.
Hi, I was just wondering whether there are any songs that make you think of RetJ characters or ships? And thank you btw for your wonderful blog and fics, I really appreciate them!
Hi there! ^^ Thank you for your kind words, I’m so happy you enjoy my writing and my little blog! :3 And thank you for the question!
Songs… I have a whole playlist of songs in Russian that I associate with RetJ in general, its characters, ships and my own AUs based on it. As for non-Russian ones, there are quite a few as well, let me list them for you! Warning: lots of Sting (though my heart belongs to Daniel Lavoie forever, Sting’s songs are somehow very applicable to RetJ).
Poets of the Fall - “My Dark Disquiet” for Prince Escalus.
Poets of the Fall - “Angel” for Friar Lawrence.
Sting - “Englishman in New York” for Prince Escalus.
Sting - “Fragile” for each and every pairing in the fandom and for the situation in Verona in general.
Sting - “The Secret Marriage” for tycutio, bencutio, and bentycutio.
Sting - “Lullaby to an Anxious Child” for Mercutio.
Sting - “Every Breath You Take” for Tybalt and Juliette.
Sting - “Shape of My Heart” for Escalus and der Tod in my chess!verse.
Sting - “Inside” for tycutio.
Sting - “It’s Probably Me” for bencutio and for Romeo and Mercutio’s friendship.
Of Verona - “Dark in My Imagination” for rocutio.
Louis Garrel - “Ma Mémoire Sale” for postcanon!escalawrence.
Luc Arbogast - “O Fortuna”, “Ad Mortem Festinamus” for Escalus and der Tod inmy chess!verse.
Daniel Lavoie - “Qui va là?” for Mercutio who is thinking/hallucinating about Queen Mab pursuing him.
Daniel Lavoie - “Bamboula” for Verona in general. I haven’t found it on YouTube, so there is a link to the lyrics.
Daniel Lavoie - “Je n'y suis pour personne” for postcanon Benvolio. Same, only the lyrics here.
Daniel Lavoie - “Coeur de pomme” for Prince Escalus. Same, only lyrics. Sorry.
Panic! At The Disco - “Don’t Threaten Me With a Good Time“ for the montacrew.
Tom Odell - “Another Love” for Benvolio/La Muette (la-volio).
This is not the end of the list, believe me! I have many other songs I could name, but I don’t want to wear you out. If you want more songs, just send me another message and I’ll do it. ^^
Upd.: also all these songs are awesome and wholesome and dramatic and I definitely recommend them to everyone, even if you are not into RetJ. Poets of the Fall and Daniel Lavoie are my special favourites!
tycutio and escalawrence for the ship meme please ♥
Thank you! 💜
Tycutio: I don’t really ship it (due to some unpleasant personal experience I had several months ago, which was not fun)- or, actually, I do, but only as part of bentycutio. But I’ll try to answer this to the best of my abilities!
who hogs the duvet: Mercutio.
who texts/rings to check how their day is going: Tybalt.
who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts: Mercutio.
who gets up first in the morning: Tybalt.
who suggests new things in bed: MERCUTIO I mean like can there be any doubt about that.
who cries at movies: no one (actually it’s Tybalt, but it’s a rare occasion and he’ll never admit it).
who gives unprompted massages: Mercutio. But it doesn’t mean he’s good at them.
who fusses over the other when they’re sick: Tyyyyybalt. Mercutio too, but it’s a more worried and panicky sort of fuss.
who gets jealous easiest: both are disasters in this regard.
who has the most embarrassing taste in music: Mercutio. His playlist is a mix of EVERYTHING. Fun fact: Tybalt’s playlist is alphabetized.
who collects something unusual: Tybalt collects guitar picks even though he doesn’t play the guitar.
who takes the longest to get ready: Mercutio. Because he doesn’t give a damn about being late.
who is the most tidy and organised: TYBALT. He is pedantic and organised and Mercutio is the opposite of that.
who gets most excited about the holidays: both equally, but Mercutio’s excitement is a bit more… noticeable. xD
who is the big spoon/little spoon: Tybs is the big spoon.
who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports: Tybalt.
who starts the most arguments: Mercutio.
who suggests that they buy a pet: Mercutio doesn’t suggest buying a pet. One morning Tybalt wakes up and the pet is just sort of already there.
what couple traditions they have: no idea.
what tv shows they watch together: I have no idea because I’m no specialist in TV shows, but I think Mercutio would be an avid fan of B99, and Tybalt would be surprisingly into Big Bang Theory.
what other couple they hang out with: Romeo&Juliet; Benvolio&Muette (that is, if it’s not bentycutio); Rosaline & her girlfiend.
how they spend time together as a couple: you mean, when they’re not having sex? xD Well, Tybalt is a busy guy (he works etc), so when he’s free they prefer to just chill at home. Sometimes they go to the movies, but Tybs is fond of long walks and so that’s what they do when the weather allows. Mercutio doesn’t mind walking in the rain, too, but Tybs is responsible enough to avoid it (or maybe he just knows that dealing with Mercutio-with-a-cold is one hell of a task xD).
who made the first move: Tybalt. He was drunk, too.
who brings flowers home: Tybalt, when the mood hits him. Which happens even less often than crying at movies.
who is the best cook: Tybalt. Mercutio is awesome at making coffee though.
Escalawrence: THANK YOU FOR ASKING ABOUT THEM and sorry in advance, I’m going to call Lawrence Lorenzo, I’m too used to it by now. xD
who hogs the duvet: Lorenzo.
who texts/rings to check how their day is going: both do. Only through texting though, because both are busy af and respect that.
who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts: Lorenzo. Escalus is more traditional (or just lacks imagination) but he tries.
who gets up first in the morning: Escalus. Even on weekends, days off and holidays. Lorenzo is so used to it by now that it doesn’t affect his deep slumber in the slightest.
who suggests new things in bed: both, but it depends on what sort of things those are.
who cries at movies: neither. Lorenzo makes sassy comments and Escalus shushes him.
who gives unprompted massages: Lorenzo. He’s damn good at that, too.
who fusses over the other when they’re sick: Lorenzo is a gd doctor, he doesn’t fuss. He doesn’t. HE DOESN’T OKAY …actually it’s Escalus. Lorenzo may be worried but he’s in control. When he gets sick though, Escalus is like “I know what to do but omg omg omg whaT DO I DO”.
who gets jealous easiest: neither. They trust each other so deeply that jealousy is not an option.
who has the most embarrassing taste in music: Lorenzo is never embarrassed about his taste in music, but Escalus honestly thinks some of his choices deserve a facepalm and a set of earplugs.
who collects something unusual: Lorenzo collects small tomes of poetry (and puts leaves and flowers in them).
who takes the longest to get ready: they’re both pretty organised and good at sticking to their schedule. But Escalus’s job requires that he look more than presentable, so naturally he spends more time getting ready and making sure everything looks as it should.
who is the most tidy and organised: Escalus, for sure.
who gets most excited about the holidays: Lorenzo (and Escalus too, but he keeps his emotions in check).
who is the big spoon/little spoon: Escalus is the little spoon. Yes.
who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports: Escalus when it comes to chess.
who starts the most arguments: they don’t really have arguments, so neither.
who suggests that they buy a pet: they need no pets, they already have Mercutio, Valentine and several other problematic teens to look after Lorenzo does.
what couple traditions they have: they play chess together regularly.
what tv shows they watch together: all sorts of ridiculous romcoms.
what other couple they hang out with: none. They don’t really like to make h\their relationship public like that, since both of them have to deal with lots of people at work. So their relationship is just for the two of them, no one else is required.
how they spend time together as a couple: they don’t have much free time to spend together, so when they do get it, they basically just stay at home together, all snug and comfy, just talking and stuff. And yep, they spend a lot of time on, ahem, amorous activities of all sorts.
who made the first move: in the canon setting it was Escalus, in the modern AU it was Lorenzo. I can describe both situations separately if you like - just let me know! ^^
who brings flowers home: Lorenzo. And then he puts them in his poetry books to dry.
who is the best cook: Lorenzo. Escalus is spectacularly bad at cooking and no one knows how his nephews survived being raised by him without starving to death. But, just like his nephew, Escalus is a born coffee-maker (guess who taught Mercutio how to make coffee? Yep).
I hope you enjoyed these! I. for my part, loved answering them :3 Don’t hesitate to ask me for comments/explanations/details if you want or need any!
Genre: Hanahaki AU
Fandom: Romeo Et Juliette
Ship: escalawrence
Co-author: @shadowofqueenmab
Link to AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18804946
It is winter when the friar first develops a persistent dry cough that feels like there is a naughty cat trying to claw its way out of his throat. But the winds are cold and the rains are long, and Lorenzo doesn't worry too much, deciding that he must have simply sat in the draught for too long.
So he continues with his usual routine, which, by this time, looks a bit different from that of a normal priest's. Every Wednesday he visits the Prince of Verona in his library and spends a pleasant evening, talking to him and sipping mulled wine; this has been their favourite pastime for almost a year now. Besides, Lorenzo, skilled as he is in healing and the like, spends many evenings working on developing a cure for a peculiar illness that has been plaguing Verona for quite some time already. No one is sure who brought it into the city and just when exactly it happened, but it's been several decades at least.
People call it the Flower Plague and fear it - quite fairly so, for Verona is a city torn by hatred and folly, and unrequited love is not a stranger to it. But never before has unrequited love equalled death... at least not until the Flower Plague came.
Lorenzo tries everything, but his medicines and potions can only numb the pain for a bit, and they certainly don't heal. He even tries to use the flowers that the sick people cough up, hoping that maybe fighting fire with fire could help...
He is not afraid of catching the disease himself: after all, he is not in love with anyone, is he? So there is absolutely no risk.
Or so he believes.
His belief shatters one winter morning when he wakes up to an unusually sharp coughing fit that soon subsides, leaving a small, soft violet petal in its wake.
Lorenzo crushes the petal in his hand and closes his eyes.
Later, he sets to work with renewed vigour, for the smell of the crushed petal and the colour and the shape of it send him to the library of the monastery. And indeed, after leafing impatiently through several old tomes, he stumbles upon - not even a recipe, just a tiny paragraph and a sketch of a flower that might just be exactly what Lorenzo needs for the medicine that he seeks to develop.
Having failed to find more information on the subject, he copies the paragraph and hurries home, not yet daring to hope. And a week later Verona is filled with rumours that friar Lorenzo has found a cure for the dreaded Flower Plague.
The rumours are soon proved to be true: those who have only begun to develop the symptoms are brought back to full health within a week, and those who have been suffering longer or developed the symptoms faster find it much easier to breathe, and none of them coughs up blood anymore - only flowers, and even those fits become shorter and less regular.
Verona is over the moon: finally there is nothing to fear. But no one knows just what exactly Lorenzo uses to make the cure; no one knows the cost at which it has come. No one even suspects that he suffers himself.
And Lorenzo doesn't want anyone to know. He doesn't even dare to hope that his feeling could possibly be returned; and what is more, through his own illness he can help others, so why even bother to stop it? It would be sensible to try and find the same flowers just growing somewhere in the woods, yes; but they look unfamiliar, he has never seen them anywhere, or he would know.
But Lorenzo isn't the only one in Verona who has something to hide. One evening, upon hearing his uncle's hacking cough, Mercutio enters his study, worried, without knocking, and freezes in his tracks. For there are bloodied violet flowers scattered across the table, and Escalus breathes heavily as he leans on the said table, pale and tired, one hand pressed to his mouth. He tries to smile at the sight of his nephew's shocked and frightened face, but the smile comes out a little crooked.
"Who?.." Mercutio dares to ask, not really hoping for an answer. The Prince waves his hand dismissively.
"Unimportant. Don't worry about it."
Mercutio knows better than to argue; but he also knows the Flower Plague when he sees it, and knows that it kills. So the next day, there is a tiny bottle of medicine in front of Escalus, on the very table where the flowers had been.
Time goes by, and the Prince's condition improves, for Mercutio brings him the medicine every week and makes sure that he drinks it. The coughing fits come less and less often, and by the beginning of summer Escalus is almost completely healthy... and has almost no time to care about his health, since Verona is once more filled with blood and death, fight after fight breaking out in its streets. Try as he might, he is unable to reason with his bloodthirsty subjects.
And then it's July. And there is a duel. And a funeral. And then more deaths and funerals, and then there is finally peace. And Mercutio stops bringing Escalus the medicine, Mercutio stops bringing smiles to people's faces; for he is no longer alive, and the only thing that he can now bring is bittersweet memories.
Lorenzo worries. His own illness develops very, very slowly, he is lucky; but the person Mercutio needed the medicine for might not be so lucky, and he doesn't know who that person is - Mercutio had never mentioned the name, and now Mercutio is dead, so how can he find out who needs his help?..
...he finds out soon enough, when at the end of August the Prince of Verona comes to the church for confession and he hears his wracking cough. Lorenzo doesn't need to ask: he knows the symptoms well by now, and he knows that the illness came back after a break... and he knows exactly how long that break was.
He also has no idea who the reason for the Prince's suffering is, and he dares not ask. He merely offers his help, wishing to save the person he loves from death; and Escalus accepts. Half because he doesn't want Mercutio's efforts to go to waste, half because it gives him the opportunity to see Lorenzo more often.
Their regular meetings had stopped at some point, which, to the Prince's mind, was easily explained by how much time Lorenzo was spending on his cure. Escalus doesn't wish to disturb the man's work... and oh well, the real reason he avoids Lorenzo as much as he could is that he is unwilling to make his feelings known but unable to hide them.
And yet Escalus is only human, so when the opportunity to see Lorenzo more often presents itself again, he seizes it without thinking.
So the Prince starts coming to Lorenzo for the medicine, every week, just like before. He has no idea what his visits do to the poor friar and how difficult it is for Lorenzo to hide both his feelings and his illness from him. He does notice that the friar looks more pale and gaunt than should be normal, though; but the man simply shrugs, "I work a lot." And there is really nothing else Escalus can say.
On his third visit the Prince arrives a bit earlier than usual and hears something he was not supposed to hear - that is, heavy wracking coughs reverberating behind the closed doors of Lorenzo's... cell? laboratory? Escalus knows not how to name it, and really, it's the least of his concerns right now. Frowning, he pushes the door... and freezes in his tracks, just like Mercutio several months prior.
"What..." He shakes his head and reaches out towards the table in front of him, not quite touching the flowers scattered across it. They are violet, large, still smeared with fresh blood... and they look familiar. Too familiar, actually. "But these are... Where did you get these?"
Escalus focuses his gaze on Lorenzo and realizes that the man looks... pale, yes, gaunt, yes; but he also looks frightened and is pressing his hand to his chest, as if in pain.
"My friend..." Escalus pauses, not yet daring to voice his thoughts, even though deep inside he knows them to be true. "Whom do you love so?"
But Lorenzo is unable to respond, not when he is once again doubled over, coughing like mad and almost choking on the oh-so-familiar violet flowers. Escalus moves to hand him the medicine that he spots on the table, but the friar waves him away.
"It won't..." one more flower drops to the floor. "Won't help me. Not me."
And as the coughing fit hits him again with even more force, almost like a seizure, the Prince finds that there is only one course of action that he can take now. So he simply puts the bottle with the potion back and steps closer, taking Lorenzo by the shoulders.
"If your own flowers can't heal you, maybe mine could? They look exactly the same."
And as the friar simply stares at him, shocked, uncomprehending, Escalus leans in and gently touches Lorenzo's lips with his own, desperately praying that it would help.
Lorenzo doesn't move at first, too surprised to actually do anything but just stand there; but when Escalus is already about to step back, the friar's hands grab his shoulders convulsively, and he is pulled back into the kiss. Lorenzo kisses him hungrily, desperately, like their kiss is water and Lorenzo himself is a traveler in a desert, dying of thirst. Which, to think of it, is not too far from the truth.
And, embracing him and responding to his kiss, Escalus doesn't even notice that his own ever-present pain deep inside his chest dissolves into nothing, as if it were never there, and that it suddenly becomes so much easier to breathe... Escalus notices nothing, really, save Lorenzo's closeness, his warmth, his touch; he doesn't care about the weak taste of blood on his lips. The only thing that matters is that he was not mistaken in his assumptions, that Lorenzo loves him back; the only thing he feels is overwhelming tenderness... and overwhelming relief, for now everything will be all right, Lorenzo will be fine.
It’s gonna be escalawrence for this one, because as of right now I don’t really ship tycutio without Ben ^^ (Ok, who am I trying to fool, I’m just neck deep in the escalawrence ship and… duh).
when I started shipping it if I did: almost a year ago, last spring! Fyi, I first watched RetJ last January. I started off imagining their postcanon friendship, and here I am.
my thoughts: I think it is not a ship most people are able to see as a possible one, for sure; but for me, it’s no less realistic than bencutio or tycutio. There is no such version of RetJ where I’d be unable to ship them - including musicals, screen adaptations, and theatrical performances (and that ice show too!).
What makes me happy about them: Escalus and FL fit together very nicely. They are both not that young, their actions are carefully considered and well thought through, and the fact that even their rationality and experience doesn’t stop them from falling for each other and acting upon it is mind-blowing for me. Lawrence is softer and milder and more open emotionally than Escalus, whereas the latter is much more stern and distant and controls his emotions carefully, only opening up when he’s with those he trusts - that is, his family, Lawrence included. As I imagine it, they both understand each other completely. Their relationship is not just about love, or lust, or passion - it is about trust, and friendship, and tenderness, and always being there for each other, and healing the other’s wounds, be they physical or mental, and about this warmth inside that keeps you going when nothing else can… There are no storms and conflicts between them - maybe only misunderstandings caused by something outside of their control.
What makes me sad about them: first of all, the fact that I am so far the only one in the fandom who actively ships them. I am too slow a ficwriter and there are no fics about them yet, so I am simultaneously sad that 1) it will take me a lot of time to write some, and 2) if someone else writes something about them first and beats me to it, I’ll be both glad and envious. xD Also, in the canon setting it makes me sad to imagine Escalus and Lawrence trying to cope with all the events and deaths and to support each other through it. It’s heartbreaking, and I am not sure if having each other makes it easier for them or not.
things done in fanfic that annoys me: the absence of this ship in fanfic! xD
things I look for in fanfic: the existence of this ship in fanfic! Beggars can’t be choosers, yeah. xD But also I’d really love to be the one to introduce the ship into the fandom through my own fanfiction, so maybe I’m looking for the absence of this ship in fanfic, too. Logic what logic xD
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: depends on the setting. In most cases I’d say they’re better off alone, but there’s an AU in which I ship Escalus/Mab really hard.
My happily ever after for them: canon is canceled, no one dies, especially not Mercutio (then again, if he doesn’t die then no one else does, too), they all live as a big happy weirdly shaped ridiculous fully functional family (and a bonus is if it’s a modern AU because then they don’t even need to hide their relationship that much).
who is the big spoon/little spoon: believe it or not, Escalus is the little spoon more often than not. But it can change depending on their mood and other circumstances. Usually the one who is more tired and needs more care and support is the little spoon, and it’s not a conscious decision - it just happens somehow. But the thing is that it’s Escalus who is normally the more tired and done TM so logically Lawrence assumes to\he role of the big spoon to provide comfort and stuff.
what is their favorite non-sexual activity: literally anything they can do together - Escalus doesn’t have much free time, and they have to keep their relationship secret, so anything counts. They love to discuss books they’ve read (and that’s a lot), or just talk, or walk together… In a modern AU, which gives them more freedom and the ability to actually live together, it’s relaxing after work, just doing nothing in particular or doing random minor activities but staying together. Actually, even cleaning the apartment can be fun when they do it together (because they compete who finishes their part of the task first. Big babies, that’s all they are, really. xD).
So before I begin: I headcanon that Escalus (aka Bartolomeo della Scala, same thing) lives with his nephews (who are still kids), and when Lawrence comes into the picture and escalawrence becomes a thing, the couple just kinda has two kids to deal with from the very outset. Romance be damned, it’s married life for them. In a way. xD
Which one of them:
Spikes the eggnog? - Lawrence.
Hangs the stockings? - Lawrence does that for Bartolomeo and himself, while Bartolomeo does that for Merc and Val.
Leaves cookies and milk out to keep up with the Santa tradition? - Bartolomeo. That’s a habit, he’s been raising two unruly boys for years and so he knows all about Christmas traditions. BECAUSE TO KEEP THOSE TWO OCCUPIED, ANYTHING GOES.
“Accidentally” throws away the fruitcake - Escalus.
Goes overboard on the whipped cream? - no one. Ok maybe the boys.
Is the inevitable Christmas Grinch? - Escalus. Only him.
Wakes up first on Christmas? - Escalus. He just wakes up first all the time.
Rolls their eyes as the same cheesy carol plays in the stores for the millionth time? - Escalus, while Lawrence laughs at his annoyance fondly.
Starts playing Christmas music the day after Halloween? - Lawrence. He’s the troll.
Decorates the Christmas tree? - they do it together. With the boys, too. Imagine the chaos that ensues each goddamn time. They don’t even own any glass decorations anymore. Duh.
Who wears the ugly Christmas sweaters - Laaaaaawrence my sweet pie. And makes Bartolomeo wear them too, to the latter’s (feigned) annoyance.
Picks out the holiday movies and who makes the hot cocoa - Lawrence. Bartolomeo sometimes does venture a suggestion, but he mainly resorts to criticising Lawrence’s choices. Just for the fun of it.
Starts the snowball fight - Escalus. Yep, still waters run deep.
Drags the other under the mistletoe - they both pretend that they don’t even know the mistletoe is there, but keep bumping into each other right under it. Mercutio laughs to himself - the mistletoe is actually his doing (and there are several of them, each year in a new place).
Decorates the house - they do it aaaaallllll together… chaos ensues. It’s a long, tiring, and fun process.
Hangs up the ornaments on the tree - Escalus. He IS the tallest.
Cooks Christmas dinner - Lawrence and only Lawrence. Bartolomeo shouldn’t cook, unless it’s sandwiches for lunch. Preferably his own lunch. No one knows how his nephews survived eating his food for several years. But that’s all according to Lawrence, and Bartolomeo himself couldn’t possibly agree with these monstrous lies, thank you very much.
Invites the other to sing a Christmas duet - surprisingly enough, it’s Bartolomeo. The man is full of surprises, and he also sings really, really well.
Has any holiday traditions - well, both follow all the common traditions… but shall we count Lawrence’s fortune cookies as his very own lil Christmas tradition? (They only contain jokes and puns instead of actual prophecies).
Who would start a food fight during baking - Escalus, same as with snowball fights.
Would get drunk off of eggnog - Valentine xD Neither Escalus nor Lawrence get drunk on Christmas, they’re too wary of what might happen if they leave Merc and Val unsupervised. they did once, and nothing good came out of it. They know better now.
Who starts putting up decorations in October? - Lawrence. Remember the part about Halloween?
Buys the advent calendars? - LaWrEnCe.
Places mistletoes all around the house? - as I said. it’s Mercutio. Okay, it’s actually a conspiracy between him, Val and Lawrence (who buys the mistletoes, yeah). Escalus pretends not to realise it. He’s good at pretending.
Wraps the presents for other people? - Bartolomeo, because he’s the only one with enough patience for that, bless him. But his own presents are always wrapped by Lawrence.
Puts the final star/angel on the top of the Christmas tree? - with Mercutio in da house? Seriously? Is that even a question?! …okay, it’s Val. Held up by Escalus. With Merc handing him the star and Lawrence holding the tree itself. They don’t risk it. One time Mercutio got too excited and, well, Mercutio’s excitement destroys things. Things like Christmas trees, too. So see, it’s a joint effort.
Is the one that hates eggnog? - Bartolomeo. He’ll make do with his cognac, thank you kindly.
Is the one that bakes Christmas cookies for guests? - guests? What guests? But yeah, Lawrence is the baker.
Sends out the Christmas cards? - Escaaaalus. Correspondence, politesse and all that stuff are his domain.
Knows all the words to Twelve Days of Christmas? - Lawrence does. Bartolomeo does too, but no one needs to know that. Got it? No one.
Is the better snowman builder? - Escalus. Several years of raising two small boys tend to give you enough experience to become a proficient snowman- and snowhouse-builder, snowball-player and all that stuff.
Starts snowball fights? - we’ve already had this question, but it’s Escalus when they are alone with Lawrence and Mercutio when all four of them are present.
Is the one that wakes the other on Christmas morning by playing Christmas songs really loudly? - Lawrence. But it happens ONLY if he manages to wake up earlier than Bartolomeo, which is, let’s admit it, near impossible. (Also, Bartolomeo knows what will happen if he sleeps longer than Lawrence… and maybe that’s partially why he wakes up so early even on the Christmas morning, yeah. But that’s just a guess).
