#etto rambles

[caramelshrimp]

We have a heatwave rn and the only pets I'm not worried about are the spiders and the crickets. The shrimps are getting ziplocs with ice and lights out, the plants will have to deal with it. The bunnies have frozen towels and a frozen waterbottle. I think they finally figured out that for some mysterious reason their house is cooler sometimes but I wish they would cuddle the bottle instead of each other. At least everyone is moving and eating. And it's "only" 30 rn we're set for 40 degrees on friday qwq

Sorry bun I wish I could turn in off

[caramelshrimp]

Local parc is full of jackdaws and magpies and sometimes I just like to watch them. The jackdaws make star wars-sounds :D

[caramelshrimp]

It's been one year and 84 days since my top-surgery and I guess I could've predicted that but I forgot what wearing a binder every day feels like! Tried it on again and I can't believe how uncomfortable it is. Apparently I hated having any sort of breasts more than THAT texture. Everything is healed up now and the scars are getting lighter. Apart from when it's cold then they go purple and pull a bit. I should've probably been smarter and not smoked so soon but eh. I AM FLAT.

Pros:

-wearing fabrics is fun I have a soft flannel shirt and it is SO comfortable! And I didn't know but now the fabric actually touches my torso! Somft!

-summer is bearable now?? I can just throw on a shirt and it's a lot cooler than before

-the acne on my back nearly went away! I guess even if you wash the damn things often a binder still traps a lot of gunk and moisture

-winter and fall are cozy! I don't have to choose between being comfortable (just wearing a hoodie) and feeling okay about myself (binder and hoodie) but not really being able to relax

-sleeping is better too, boobs are gone and my brain doesn't get upset about them anymore

-showering too. It's just me

-I am more happy with my weight! The rest is just working on it as usual but the thoughts of loosing weight so my boobs would get smaller are gone!

-periods are more bearable, I used to go up a cup size for a week or two which also just physically hurt

-my ribs stopped hurting

-my posture got better and I feel a lot less stiff all the time (shoulders! Damn!)

-binder doesn't press on my stomach anymore when sitting down

-i can wear nice outfits like a button-down and a vest even when it's warmer

-breathing not constricted at all

-i went swimming in the ocean and walked across a camping ground shirtless and wore deep-cut shirts

-from the moment I saw my chest after surgery to now it has just felt right! Like I looked at myself and thought yeah this ckecks out and matches the mental image i have of myself

Cons:

-Had to buy undershirts for winter cause I'm missing a layer (soft tho!)

-Nipples vaguely uneven but ey my chest feels like a part of me now

-scar tissue needs massaging which is both annoying and necessary. Not doing it results in a feeling like TV static

-i've worn a binder for so long (and most people don't analyze other people's chests so much) that the difference is only really obvious to me? Feels a bit odd sometimes that I took such a nice big step and it's basically invisible lol

-sometimes a bunny runs over my chest and manages to use the scar tissue as a traction point. Especially scary when I was healing but now it's just annoying

I can't believe it took me over 6 years to finally do this. Shout-out to my mum for going from my child is not trans to booking the appointment and visiting me in the hospital ❤️ I would've taken me even longer without that support

[caramelshrimp]

Ich bin ja nie so ganz sicher was ich sagen soll, wenn Kinder mir "Emo" hinterherschreien. Glückwunsch, Sehtest bestanden?

[caramelshrimp]

Ich @ Brotteig: DANN GEH DOCH

[caramelshrimp]

So bin jetzt offiziell raus ausm Beruf, wurde fröhlich gefeuert (Geld wohl knapp, scheiße so als einzige Person im Betrieb ohne Kündigungsschutz). Jobsuche der letzte Bumms, KI überall und ich geb mir das nicht mehr und bewerb mich jetzt 10 Jahre zu alt als Gärtner-Azubi und meinen Namen hab ich auch noch nicht geändert gekriegt, geschweige denn an meinem Hormonhaushalt geschraubt aber immerhin

Wenn ich kein Häkchen setz in deren blöden Formular krieg ich eine kleine Auswahl an Anreden. Ich nehm was ich kriegen kann und zumindest hab ich jetzt Zeit für die Tolkientage was zu basteln. Aber Manno was ein Jahr. Mal ganz abgesehen vom generellen Weltgeschehen.

ACHJA UND WENN JEMAND IDEEN HAT FÜR EINEN MÄNNER-NAMEN MIT "H" BITTE HIER EINREICHEN. Ich hab seit ungefähr 15 Jahren einen Spitznamen aber der taugt nicht für den Perso qwq

[caramelshrimp]

There's a fucking car in my friend's house what a year >:c

[caramelshrimp]

Just did one of the Tests for the application for the zookeeper apprenticeship. First was uploading everything then a test on language and math and social skills (i passed that one!). Now I live in fear. I am so so bad at timed questions. Forgot dsungarian hamsters changed their fur color. Forgot what the tapir feet were called. I just hope i got enough right to get to the Interview I really really want this qwq if I pass this, anyone got anytips for the Interview? I have done job Interviews before but was always able to point to my qualifications in that field (Media design). How do I put "I really love animals and Aquariums in particular" in smart words without it sounding like " i Luv animal I dont know anymore than that"