《 ※ 》 A YAWN OF HIS OWN immediately follows after hers. Contagious. His body slumps entirely into the couch, dark irises are then veiled, shrouded in darkness when eyelids close over. Did he believe in reincarnation ? He supposes it’s more of an idea he hopes to be true. Since every time someone asks him, the red head responds with wanting to come back as a dog since they live the good life. ❝ Well, I don’t believe it, no, but I wouldn’t shove the notion aside underneath a rug or something. ❞ Granted, he’s seen things. Heard things that were far more questionable and bizarre that the simplicity of reincarnation ( not that reincarnation was simple, probably ). ❝ But you know me, won’t believe it until I see it kind of deal. Besides, it’s not like we’re supposed to know that we’ve been reincarnated or anything right, if presumed we were. ❞
“i jus’ wanted t’know ‘cos the thought popped up in my mind. there’s this drama.. it’s called legend of the blue sea.. there’s this mermaid or somethin’-- she falls in love with a human but the human is unable to ‘cos of their worlds so she erases his memory by kissin’ him. they both die but reincarnate t’love each other again..” hyejung shrugs her shoulders. would it be stupid to think of something so she could wish for a better life when reincarnated? but what if her reincarnated life had the same shitty father, one with a different face and a different name? “i don’t necessarily believe in it, but i can. y’know? if that made sense.”
“It’s fun to move to a new place. It’s an adventure.”
Studio Ghibli Sentence Meme
Received from: @eunceleeStatus: Accepting!
A new place. A new environment. A new location deemed fit to start anew.
Seoah has thought of the possibility. Whether to move out from her current apartment and move in elsewhere. It is a way, rather radical, to trap memories and let them fade over time. Though the soloist isn’t quite fond of forgetting what was once valuable to her stubborn heart which refused to let go of anything despite the damage and consequences the past potentially has.
Such a distorted way to take care of oneself, she’ll tell herself with a scowl. However, it has always been like that. For as long as she remembers.
❝I won’t refuse an adventure.❞She turns to the other so her smile can be visible. ❝It’s a bit like venturing the unknown. There’s a thrill to it, but I think it is ten times better with someone than alone. At least, if something happens, I won’t have to panic and run like a headless chicken.❞ She laughs at the comparison she just made.❝Okay, that was not the image I was going for.❞
《 ※ 》 IN RETROSPECT, Sangcheol should have probably — no he should have eaten something before prepping to teach the dance class later that evening. Without much thought, after his full-time job at the graphic design studio, he immediately darted to the Beatnix Dance Studio without considering that perhaps he should eat before teaching a class. In his defense, he was just excited to be able to teach a younger generation of dancers again. Having been missing in action from the studio for quite some time, to be able to come back, on top of teaching younger children a dance routine, he couldn’t resist the excitement that was boiling in his blood, shooting adrenaline through his blood stream. Sangcheol was running on fumes by the time Eunjin arrived, yet he still came out of the studio and greeted her at the door before motioning for her to come inside. The way she questioned him in that very stern motherly voice of hers, almost made him cower, an apologetic expression etched on his features as he sheepishly gazes up at her with a hand rubbing the nape of his neck.
❝ Er — I ate . . . earlier ? A little bit. ❞ He wasn’t lying — just — it wasn’t exactly the FULL truth. He probably made her worry enough by asking her to bring him food of some sort since he was feeling a little light-headed from all the dance he had done prior to her coming.
❝ Really, though, thank you. ❞ Dark irises lift up to meet with hers, an apologetic smile curling on his lips as if to say sorry for making her come all the way out here from — where was she coming from again. Those same deep brown pools of his are studying her get up, taking in the garbs she was donning on her smaller frame and curiosity curls at the edges of his mouth, lower lip poking out just a smidgen before his eyes cast back up to meet with her face. ❝ Eunjin-ah, where were you before coming to bring me food and saving my life ? ❞
"You could’ve called anyone for help, but you called me?"
sentence starters ‣ not accepting.
[ † ] — he feels bad for her. but only because she has to look at him ugly-crying. there couldn’t be any other way to cry, it was scientifically impossible to cry and look good. he knows, he tried staring at himself in the mirror while thinking about sad things. he was ugly.
he really wanted to see a girl being ugly on purpose.
that wasn’t why he was crying though. although that made him sad.
“ i couldn’t remember any other number. “ he tells her, in between sniffles.
he was sitting on the concrete ground, clothes torn-up and hair all over the place. he had bruises on one side of his face, his cheek painfully purple. drops of blood were spilling out of the corner of his mouth, and his knuckles were reddened, like thawed meat.
“ i just need– “ he starts, wiping his tears as carefully as possible.
“ –do you have clothes? “ this was rhetoric, of course she had.
the crying was over and the tears were gone. he didn’t seem bothered by the pain.
“ fuck, this hurts more than i anticipated. “ okay, he didn’t really say fuck, but he wanted to.
next to him was a stash of money, nicely rolled up to fit inside his pocket. that had to be at least six hundred dollars. he couldn’t stop coughing, and his breathing was uneven. he was fine, this was fine. he just came out of a restaurant after doing his best– choking took up a lot of energy. that was fine, he was going to be closed the next day anyway.
“ do you– “ cough. “ –look ugly? “ he takes a break, massaging his hands. he wanted to sleep. “ when you cry? “
[ text ]: I just brought the Spice Girls Greatest Hits.
@euncelee // ( 30 texts to send my muse )
( 💌 sms: eunjinnie 🐰) you just brought the spice girls greatest hits?( 💌 sms: eunjinnie 🐰) meaning you haVEN’T HAD IT UNTIL NOW?( 💌 sms: eunjinnie 🐰) shame on you, eunjin! 😤 ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
galaxies: what are three things you want to do before you die?
That. That was something Seo Ah hadn’t put too much thought into until it crossed her mind. It was what others would call a testimony, wouldn’t it? No, not really. She must have misunderstood. Perhaps she should view it just like any to-do list she got the habit to write just so she would feel accomplished by the end of the day. That is if she managed to strike through most of what should be done.
Truth be told, the soloist might have started that list a long time ago. She just never paid attention to it.
It started with old music sheets she found while cleaning up her apartment. Seo Ah was not much of a hoarder though she adored putting things aside in boxes. Once the time’s needed to throw them away, she would peek at their content and reminisce about the old times. Some bitter than others.
That bitterness was faint, distant, almost imperceivable. It wasn’t hurting her as much as it did in the past. A relief since she wanted to move on, to feel better. Not only for others, for them to stop worrying, but for herself.
First thing: To take care of yourself properly. To find peace with what you think, what you do and what you feel, towards yourself and towards others.
Going through her papers, Seo Ah had noticed a pattern. A little smile tugged at a corner of her lips at the sight of scribbles written on the margins. They were thoughts linked to lyrics she worked on. Whenever she needed the inspiration to continue her compositions, she would write bits of her personal life. Her memories proved to be so joyful when she first attempted to write a song. They transitioned somehow. Her songs became more heartbreaking than cheerful, making her wonder what had happened for this change to be this clear.
But of course, she knew that much. To be vocal about her misfortunes wouldn’t do any good anyway. They belonged to the past now.
Second thing: To find the right person so that you won’t rush things but also not delay them. Just find someone that you will fully open up to.
Among all things, she kept her creations in an empty box. This one would never be thrown away since they might be useful for future songs. Seo Ah didn’t lack the inspiration to write new contents, new stories, new themes, but they were days rougher than others. The number was quite impressive in comparison to the released songs she had so far. Hopefully, more would come in the future in order to acquire the reputation she desired.
Third and final thing: To leave a legacy with your songs that will transcend time and reach many people.
sunset: who is someone you thought would be in your life forever, but you no longer talk to?
Forever. A word Seo Ah ceased to believe its meaning. Unlike its definition, its longevity wasn’t quite on a par with it. The word only resonates strongly the moment it is said, written or thought, giving the impression of being eternal like it is made belief, but she saw through this trick long ago.
And she should stop playing its game after many failures.
But Seo Ah was a fool, blinded by hope. Seo Ah wanted to believe in the possibility of forever. Seo Ah desired a happily ever after, similar to fairy tales, but not quite. Reality was far from them anyway.
Positivity wasn’t good in excess, it seemed.
She hadn’t spoken a word when she heard a familiar voice, one that she recalled falling for, one that her heart used to skip a bit at the first syllable and still did. This time, faintly. She didn’t oppose to watch the entire performance nor she seemed engrossed in it. A blank stare at the screen and silence were what she could offer at that moment.
And then she smiled a bit once the song was over, turning to the other.❝They have been very popular lately. Their success is incredible. ❞She wished for his happiness to grow along with the many accomplishments his group made so far.❝It’s incredible how they are leading the kpop movement nowadays. ❞
She couldn’t afford herself to call his name. Over a year passed and vulnerability still had a strong hold on this situation. Closure never happened anyway, so her stubborn heart refused to let go completely, even now.
However, she felt somehow at ease. Not in distress, not in disarray. Her emotions weren’t over the place nor bittersweet at the sight of him on the screen. Disappointment might be the only one she felt strongly since she hadn’t talked to him since the unexpected breakup, one forced upon by both companies.
It was his smile that soothed her. That adorable bunny smile she used to admire from up close.
Ah, how things wouldn’t ever return to how they used to.
sweet dreams: are you happy?
Happy? Lately, she has been questioning herself about this emotion too. It was such a common thing to ask. From others, from those close to her. To care about someone’s well-being is a practice that none would avoid in a conversation.
Seo Ah found herself smiling as she seemed to ponder not longer than a few seconds or the other would worry about her.
❝Yes.❞ She nodded once and let out a chuckle, amused by how automatic it became to just say yes. Seo Ah meant it though. At that very moment, she was content with what had happened since she opened her eyes to a brand new day.
