#eve1978

[stevieang]

eve1978 replied to your post “@eve1978 hi!!! Ummmmm, do you have a second blog? Because someone...”

That's me babe! All my writing is on there and not on this blog, so no need to be pissed off. Thank you for looking out for me ;)

@eve1978 PHEW! I am so glad it was you! I’m glad I didn’t follow my 1st instinct to go mental on the other blog, that would have been embarrassing.  Would it be ok if I subscribed to that one, as well? What can I say, I’m addicted to your writing. - Steph

[enchantedbyhiddles]

@eve1978 replied to your post “How do I, a European, know that it’s Thanksgiving? Everything on Steam...”

Apparently Black Friday is a thing now here.

@gothfrasiercrane replied to your post “How do I, a European, know that it’s Thanksgiving? Everything on Steam...”

fuck christopher columbus. it's sale time

@cinnamonrollpavelchekov replied to your post “How do I, a European, know that it’s Thanksgiving? Everything on Steam...”

Black Friday is everywhere in the UK.

Really? The US-Americans take us over once again... First the red Santa Claus, then Halloween, now this. We are getting infiltrated. ;) At least here in Germany it only happens online. The shops are trying to get it to happen, but so far it is still very much restricted to Amazon, Steam and other online shops. :)

[abovethesmokestacks]

@eve1978 Because I never learn and I found an illustrated version and needed a reminder of just how badly this fic fucked me up??

[enchantedbyhiddles]

@eve1978 replied to your post: The Thor: Ragnarok panel at the Marvel booth is...

Maybe Tom isn’t there but Loki is ;)

That's something I think of as well. Maybe. :) Or he is meeting his secret love (aka Josh Horowitz) now that his big crush Chris found someone else (aka Taika). ;D That's at least my secret hope. (of course only if it is on film. ;D)

[enchantedbyhiddles]

@eve1978 replied to your post: Shit. Sense8 got cancelled. :/  I hate if that...

Noooooo! This last season just made me fall in love with the show even more, ugh :(

:( I admit that I liked the first season better, but I still wanted to know what exactly was going on.

[enchantedbyhiddles]

Stucky ;)

ship: ew / nonono / maybe / ship it / aww / otp / MY HEART I HARDLY SHIP ANYTHING THE WAY I DO THEM

No matter what. Those two belong together. They’ve seen everything of each other. They know their hearts and they know the things the other one doesn’t want to admit. Not even to themselves. They’ve seen each other at their lowest and they shared their happiest moments. They don’t have to talk to know what the other thinks, but then they can spent nights talking without really saying anything. Remembering events that others haven’t even read in history books. The horrors of war, that only other old veterans can share. The taste of the first stolen beer on the streets of Brooklyn and then the feeling of embarrassment when their mothers found out and chastised them. Not to mention the first hangover afterwards. They will always share a life. Now this life also consist of endless nightmares of death and friends that could not be saved. Nightmares of missed opportunities and too much weight on their shoulders. Fears that they won’t admit. Stolen glances to look after each other to make sure that the other one is truly there or to check what they hide behind the mask of trained indifference and optimism.

There are times when that ship includes sloppy kisses in dusty backyards. Fumbling when they shared a bed against the cold of the night. Jealousy for all the girls that could throw themselves at the other in a bar, because who wouldn’t try their luck on those handsome soldiers? When they couldn’t even hold hands. Endless nights longing for each other until they finally gave in to their lust. Then the heartbreak of losing each other and the heart-bursting happiness when they found each other again. Only to feel their hearts breaking all over over the missed opportunities, the missed time, and most of all, because they had to realise that the happy go lucky boy they fell in love with, doesn’t exist anymore. They are now old men in the bodies of super soldiers. They saw to much and lived too little. Doesn’t stop them from falling for each other all over again. They might not be the same they used to be, but they are together and they have so much more to win and to explore than what they lost. New opportunities, new love, and a new time, where they can be with each other and don’t have to hide.

At other times the ship doesn’t include sex. Oh no, their relationship is not depending on that. Bucky and Steve will marry women. They’ll start families and instead of spending all the time together it is limited to a night a week. Just them sharing a beer, pretending that everything is normal and they don’t live one hell of a life. Then they make some jokes about the football on tv and pretend to be like all the other guys. One shared look though and their wives know that what they don’t speak about is there. A shared life that they can’t even spent with their wives, even though they want to tell and don’t hide. Some things though can’t be explained in words. And while they love their wives with all their heart and never regret a thing. There will always be this special bond that only they share.

[enchantedbyhiddles]

eve1978 replied to your post: It’s so great to see the reactions to Logan. :D I...

I was on the edge of my seat the entire time, it was SO good!

Me too and I want to tell everyone how good it is. :D

I had a guy next to me in the cinema. Looked like your typical journalist type (I was at the premiere surrounded by journalists) and he was totally excited. Screaming, laughing, crying. Just like the rest of the cinema. It’s one of the few movies that really made me cry. A lot.

[enchantedbyhiddles]

@mischiefinthedungeons replied to your post “The thing about anxiety is that you constantly blame yourself. You...”

Very true. The same is with me too. Not so very long ago, I had to see this woman and she wanted to know why I was anxious and said it was down to shyness. Erm, I'm very sure anxiety and shyness are two separate things. I wanted to walk out of her office. She really didn't understand me at all. I don't know what's worst. I even find eye contact very troubling now and I look at something in front of me as I reply back.

*hugs* I understand you. There are days it’s better and days it’s worse and then there are days when looking someone in the eye is difficult.

@eve1978 replied to your post “The thing about anxiety is that you constantly bl me yourself. You...”

I feel this so much!

*hugs*

@teacuphiddlesfics replied to your post “The thing about anxiety is that you constantly blame yourself. You...”

All of this. I have massive anxiety when it comes to calling someone. When I had to do so earlier I was shaking the entire time. I felt sick and terrible all of yesterday just thinking about doing it and building myself to get it done. Even just waiting for someone to call me back I have so much anxiety just waiting for that moment they'll call. But trying to explain that to people is so difficult sometimes when they just see it as a simple little phone call.

*hugs* I so feel you.

I thankfully or dreadfully had jobs were calling is one of the main parts. It helps in that I have to face it and it does get easier, but it doesn’t help with all other calls. I also learned that many on the other end of the line have no clue about the call beforehand either and if it is some kind of service or so they simply want to get it done and don’t care about how much I stumble or fuck up (I don’t, it’s just that I fear I do).

And it’s still after years of doing it that I have to take a deep breath and have to mentally prepare myself. For important or just even different calls I really have to set a time that I call. I hardly sleep the night before and I’m shaking and try my best to control my voice. 

When the phone rings I have to let it ring at least two times so that I can take a deep breath and mentally tell myself what I’ll say. It sounds stupid, but these 5 seconds make all the difference. If I call someone and they answer immediately I’m shocked silent for a moment and then I start speaking and I think they think me weird and it is all downhill from there.