for the kiss ask, either jimon or queliot (or anything magicians related) and 26? ❤️❤️❤️❤️
as an apology
“I’m so sorry, Quentin,” Eliot half cried as he knelt over his wounded– friend? They were so much more than that, but he wasn’t sure how he could even begin to label it in standard earth or even Fillorian terms. Was ex-husband enough, considering they had once spent a lifetime together all in one earth day? Ex-lover, considering they had once had sex in a drunken haze (with Margo)? Or were they indeed simply the type of friends that were tied by a bond stronger than family?
“I’m so sorry,” he repeated, more to himself this time as Quentin was in and out of consciousness as Eliot tried desperately to remember a healing spell. He had taken a first aid class at Brakebills but hadn’t considered it important back then when he didn’t know how his entire world would turn upside down. How he’d face a Beast, how he’d become a King, how he’d reach the end of the universe where magic began and become possessed.
A possession that led him here, kneeling over the man that he now remembered, and someone who didn’t remember him. What kind of magician had done this to them? And why, when they were facing such dire straights?
“Who are you?” Quentin, who thought he was Brian, asked. Eliot didn’t know how to answer this, but in true dramatic and romantic fashion he desperately hoped it could be answered with a beautiful kiss.
Quentin returned the exchange of lips after only ten seconds, much to Eliot’s surprise, and when they both pulled away Eliot only barely noticed he was holding his breath so tightly that his lungs hurt. Quentin was watching him, eyes searching, and then with barely a whisper he said, “Eliot?”
“Yes! Yes, Eliot. Oh my God, you remember,” he said in relief, the back of his mind noting that if they were to end up together and happily married with children once more this would be the sort of fairy tale kiss that belonged in an even better book series than Fillory and Further. “Quentin, I’m so sorry, I was possessed and I hurt you, I didn’t mean it I swear–,”
With another kiss to make sure Quentin knew, because he had to know that Eliot would never hurt him immediately, he hoped he would remember. The healing spell that Eliot’s hands continued to try and form started to work, maybe out of emotion as well as technique, and even though the world was once again ending, Eliot thought that maybe things would be better as they faced it yet again.
Alrighty folks so strap in, here is the first round of my ace-friendly Shadowhunters fic rec list!
It’s so hard to have to navigate fics that should have a canon asexual character, always just vaguely expecting disappointment (cough Raphael). So. All of the fics on this list are ace-friendly in some way or another, whether it’s tagged/talked about or even intended by the author or not- they do NOT invalidate Raphael’s asexuality (using the definition of asexuality as not experiencing sexual attraction, irrespective of feelings toward sex. And while this list does have some aroace!Raphael, it is specifically for ace!Raphael)
This’ll cover everything from ace-friendly smut for my smut-inclined friends (meaning Raphael is not sex-repulsed in those, but still ace) to platonic/solo stuff for those of my friends who are less romance-inclined. I also threw in some headcannons of other SH characters. Let me know what you all think!
(Things not under the “smut” category do not have any written descriptions of sex to the best of my memory and brief scan-throughs, but please let me know if there’s something in the general list that should be under smut). If you’re strongly sex-repulsed please use your usual discretion. (And everyone just please read the tags in general).
One final note: keep in mind that this is just a collection of fics that are supportive of asexuality. While these are fics I personally enjoyed/read often, this list is not an endorsement of all aspects of the content (ie. the way other identities are handled, etc.) This list is meant to account for different tastes, just with the bonus relief of knowing asexuality is there.
So, here we go!
(I’m ridiculous and can’t do regular summaries; my comments on each rec- if any- are in the brackets):
Saphael (without direct mention of asexuality but still unequivocally respecting it):
The Heart of An Adventurer by DustinMcDreamy
Skyrim/Dark Ages AU: Simon is a simple tavern worker, but he wants more than his boring life. An adventurer stays the night at their Inn and Simon is enamored with both the adventurer and his wonderful life.
(so this is a lovely person who I’ve been collaborating with and they are honestly such an ally and their stories are wonderful, this one is probably my favourite but you can check out their page for other stuff)
put the boom boom into my heart by idontshaveforsher_yesyoudo
"Or maybe something like soulmates always sneeze at the same time and I cant be sure but me and this kid in my French class just sneezed at the same time are we soulmates or was it a coincidence (proceed w character trying to make themselves sneeze around said person to see what’s what)"
or, the one where simon hates his life and Mr. Immaculate Hair doesn't make it better, until he does
Forgotten at Dusk by halfmast
Simon finds Raphael wandering around Manhattan barefoot - things go downhill (uphill?) from there.
(So I think this is the only one I’ve included that’s an unfinished WIP and is also NOT explicitly laid out as asexual- because I can’t guarantee it won’t change in later chapters. It also has one chapter left and hasn’t updated in a while so if that rattles you, don’t touch. But it’s beautifully written and sweet and a neat concept, and so far doesn’t contradict asexuality!)
before I ever met you by izzyasavestheday (stilessexual)
“I’m missing something,” Simon went on, voice cracking. “I’m missing someone but no matter how hard I try I just can’t fucking remember.”
Can you find me someone to love? by domoiswatchingyou
They all have one thing in common: they are all bad at love, even when some of them love to deny it.
(Saphael and Malec AU WIP) (And I gotta say guys, I beta for this lovely person- and thus actually have a hand in writing the ace parts- and they are a wonderful individual. Asexuality not mentioned as of yet but will be upcoming).
baby, I’m not made of stone by izzyasavestheday (stilessexual)
“Did I ever tell you that we feel everything? The clan, I mean. If I focus enough, I can tell you who’s sad and who’s angry and who hasn’t been sleeping properly. I can tell you who’s been having nightmares. There are no secrets here.”
i'd spend all nine lives with you by alaricrodriguez
simon gets himself turned into a kitten and raphael can't find his fledgling
(this is just little and cute and there’s no explicit effort made to make Raph ace but I guess I’m kind of cheating since it’s from Simon’s POV and doesn’t come up at all but it’s not contradicted and I love this fic so)
echo series by izzyasavestheday (stilessexual)
“Right,” Raphael brought himself to his feet, smooth as anything. “Let’s go.”
Simon gapped up at him, “Go where?”
Raphael rolled his eyes, impressively, (like he didn’t care, like he didn’t care about Simon, but he was here and they both knew neither of them could ever stop caring no matter how much they continued to hurt one another) and heaved a spectacular sigh.
“Home.”
-
Saphael (ft. actual conversations about asexuality/the word is spoken):
Somebody out there by mckvch (RaiseYourVoice)
(Road trip fic, which is classic of course. PLEASE read the tags. Could be interpreted as demi/gray ace but I identify as just ace and it fits me just fine. This is one of the first fics I read coming into this fandom, and the first one that made me fall in love with Saphael, and it’s got an insanely special warm fuzzy place in my heart) (Also 27 chapters, so how can you complain about that???)
The acing on the cake by mckvch (RaiseYourVoice)
““Oh, come on, puns are amazing! Tell me your sexuality and I’m sure we will have at least one shirt that’ll appeal to you.” Simon patted the pile of shirts in front of him and smiled hopefully at Raphael who really wanted to disagree and tell the boy he was wasting his time here but he couldn’t bring himself to.”
(pride!fic) (this author has some of my favourite ace!Saphael fics ever, and like an endless supply of them with everything under the ace/aro umbrella)
A Lesson in Love series by Malteser24
”Simon thinks it will be difficult to adapt to their new situation - in which they don't actually hate each other - and Raphael can't imagine their date as being anything but awkward, considering how out of his depth he is when it comes to dating.Instead, they actually have a fairly good time.”
like a love song on the radio by eversall
Simon's a bartender, Raphael plays the piano, and somehow they manage to communicate to each other that yeah, they both want this.
Rock Solid Panda by OhHolyHell
(Made for pan pride day, “Raphael is actually a thoughtful softie” (and so is Simon!) (ft. ace puns))
Disasters that lead to pretty boys (are worth it) by gayinsight
"My friend is out of town and I’m supposed to be taking care of her pet fish but it died and you work at the pet store help me find one that looks the same so she won’t notice!"
(this one has a hella flirtatious Raphael making some jokes that imply sexual attraction but it doesn’t actually HAVE him experience it and it’s honestly one of the cutest, funniest little Saphael fics ever so)
if i ever had your number, i think i would use it by eversall
“You – why is your number in the Pandemonium bathroom?”
(classic meet-ugly sorta vibe)
I am a pile of bricks and you are holding a sledgehammer by LiviKate
“So when do I get tucked safely back under Raphael’s wing?”
“You won’t,” Lily said, wandering over to the other side of the room to get her own drink. “Raphael has a new fledgling now. You’re stuck with me.”
Or, when Simon isn't the newest vamp in the clan, he has a hard time sharing.
Promised It All, But You Lied by sirknightmordred
As Raphael lies in a magical coma that can't be cured, Simon thinks back to pivotal moments in their relationship.
(There IS a warning for fairly descriptive sexual assault, but it’s actually surrounded by bolded words in the story so easy to skip. And it does not attribute his ace-ness to the assault, but it’s also rep for those of us who are ace AND have negative experiences with sexual violence)
Sing me a Song by Margo_96
the one where Simon teaches Raphael's younger brother how to play the guitar and Raphael is not happy. or maybe he doesn't mind it that much
(Okay so this is one that kind of equates asexual to ‘not wanting sex,’ and Raphael does have very strong infatuation so not so much representative of romantically-fuzzy people. Hooweeverr, it’s cute af, and I like Simon’s initial reaction to the coming out, and it’s 8 chapters, so worth a read for sure)
until i’m not afraid by angelblooddemondust
(Trans!Simon (which I can’t speak to at all) ft ace!supportiveRaph (which I can)) (read the notes)
-
Saphael (ft. smut):
Head is spinning thinking ‘bout by LiviKate
Simon and Raphael enjoy their time together, even if Simon doesn't really know what to call it.
Or, gratuitous vampire sex with some ace-spectrum themes because there's not enough Asexual Raphael.
(This is a lot of blood drinking, which is not my fav, but it’s brilliant in terms of what a sex-positive ace might look like and how they experience sex- it’s from Raph’s POV, and it’s quite good overall imo. Probably my favourite ace!smut)
Just Pull me Closer by SomeWaywardDaughter
After spending an irritating patrol with Clary and Jace, Simon just wants to get back to Hotel DuMort and Raphael.
(so I’mma be honest I was in a pretty sex-repulsed mood while doing this part so I didn’t fully reread it to be sure it’s safe but it’s literally written by a self-professed ace author and I did see reference to the aceness amidst the smut so I’m pretty sure we’re good)
What is Desired by DustinMcDreamy
(I’m not going to include descriptions for smut because many of them are potentially triggering in nature for sex-repulsed friends, but this one is a dom/sub sort of thing, pretty hella kinky so buyers beware. It’s messy on the ace-front (the author started the series before Raphael came out, and had to add it retroactively) but there’s some good lines in there in particular for gray ace or demi folks who are experiencing lust for someone for the first/only time, etc.)
chasing starlight by mostlikelydefinentlymad
There was no set destination, simply one agreed upon prerogative: drive.
(So this isn’t technically smut insofar as there’s no actual explicit description of sex, it’s basically all blood drinking, but it’s a heavily implied metaphor and Raphael’s blood lust for Simon is very reminiscent of sexual attraction, so that part kind of doesn’t reflect how I feel as an ace person. BUT Raphael does not actually experience sexual attraction, the story is quite lovely, and the author is quite lovely as well, so I’d still recommend it)
Caught. by Kalifa
(Lol this is short and not super smutty either but it’s like #sexindifferentfeels all the way)
-
Raphael and Other Characters ( back to no smut):
love comes in at the eye by prettydizzeed
The first time he asks Raphael out, Raphael scoffs.
(A Raphael/Meliorn fic- and I gotta tell you I didn’t even ship these two but the characterization is beautiful and the handling of the asexuality is a dream)
maybe we're just gonna live forever, maybe heaven's a mistake by prettydizzeed
Raphael presses the pendant into his palm and looks at Magnus. “How did you become okay with it?”
Magnus gives a flourish of his hand. “After the whole ‘half demon blood, scorned by the earth as a monster’ thing, liking boys wasn't that big of a deal.” He sees Raphael's expression and adds gently, “But it's different for everyone.”
Raphael looks at his hands. Lets go of the cross. “How do I become okay with it?”
Incompatible by NotEvenThat
Raphael wants to know why their relationship works for Jace. As with everything, Jace struggles to talk about his feelings and why Raphael Santiago makes him feel so safe.
(I can’t even get over how much I love that this fic makes asexuality seem like a bonus rather than a burden in a relationship- which shouldn’t be rare, but alas)
landscapes by brightclam
(Another Raph/Meliorn, those seem to be popular! Ft. gender nonconforming Meliorn and the tags “Asexual Raphael Santiago” “i shouldn't have to tag that but some of y'all demons ignore that” which made me laugh for like 5 minutes)
-
Arospec!Raphael/Romance not Mentioned:
Make Yourself at Home by savannahrunes
Two occasions Raphael Santiago shows up at Magnus's door, each time with something quite important to say.
(This is my favourite aroace Raphael fic ever and made me cry both times I read it. Also written by an ace author) (do yourself a favour and read this even if you’re not arospec- although that goes for all of them in this category) (he is legitimately 100% aro in this)
Unnamed Soulmate AU by http://parabatri-gonebabygone.tumblr.com
(So I couldn’t trace this back to AO3 or even the author’s most recent tumblr but it’s so beautiful and I love this fic so much and the author (in my limited opinion) did an amazing job of having an aroace soulmate dynamic and gah, yes)
Four Times Raphael Santiago Was Kissed, and the One Time He Kissed First by albabutter
His mother should have had a house full of girls. Instead she ended up with him and his brothers and a rag tag crew of every teenaged hooligan in a five mile radius running through her home. She was quick to grab an ear but quicker to give a hug, and Raphael put up with it as well as could be expected. She gave hugs to the neighborhood boys and kisses to her sons, and the only silver lining was that she didn’t wear lipstick.
(honestly this is one of my favourite Raphael fics in general, and I believe the author only intended for him to be ace in this but I definitely interpret it as at least aro-spec as well if not just straight-up aroace)
When’s a monster not a monster? by scalira
“He had never heard about something like this before. You either liked the opposite sex or you lived in sin as someone who liked the same sex. But he had never heard of people just not liking any sex.He decided to just let it rest for now, pushing the worry aside till he at least graduated highschool.
But then there was a friend, and his name was David.”
(*** Warning: there is a fairly sudden mention of oral sex near the beginning. And some descriptions of violence. But this is one of my favourite ace-fics in the way that it explains what asexual attraction feels like for me, and Raph is also grey-homoromantic so bonus) (this author has lots of varying ace and demi/grayromantic/etc Raphael fics too to check out)
Carpe Noctem by UMsArchive
For decades, it seems like unlife couldn't get any better and nothing threatens to take all of that happiness away from Simon. Aside from the passing of time that slowly takes everything away from him. Almost everything.
(Listed as demiromantic, but as far as I can remember doesn’t even have kissing by the end so it should be fairly aro-friendly)
Maybe by mckvch(RaiseYourVoice)
“ Yeah, he definitely didn’t want to kiss girls, ever, but boys...not so much, either.”
(arospec Raphael with some ambiguousness about his feelings for Simon)
It's Not a Date (Unless I Pay for Dinner) by Vitamin_Me
Clary cancels their date last minute, but Simon ends up having a good time despite himself.
(So I don’t think this author really intended on having Raphael be aro or even ace, but while I’m not aro and can’t be sure, I think this fic should be pretty safe even for people who are mildly romance-repulsed. There’s definitely implications of feelings- especially from Simon- but really I interpret it as being this chill, mostly platonic, nice little fic that makes me feel pretty good when I’m sick of all the heavy romance stuff)
18. Play A Musical Instrument by GideonGraystairs
So this is just a tiny drabble amidst a sea of drabbles but I love it because it’s one of the only fics I’ve seen that’s literally JUST Raphael, reflecting, by himself. It doesn’t say he’s ace/aro anything, it just doesn’t have any romantic arc at all)
-
ace!Alec Lightwood:
Accidental Fate by allonsyarielle
There were two things Alec Lightwood knew about himself beyond a shadow of a doubt. The first was that he was gay. The second was that he does not like sex. Through a chance encounter with Magnus Bane, Alec learns about asexuality, and it opens his eyes to a new part of his identity.
(okay so this one did sort of equate asexuality with “not wanting sex” but I still included it because I think it’s a frank take on how it can feel to realize you’re asexual, and all of the negative emotions that can come with that)
Sleepovers Aren’t Just for Kids by SomeWaywardDaughter
Ace!Alec discovery his sexuality (written by an ace author)
-
Others SH headcannons:
Send My Love To Your New Lover by HornedQueenOfHell
(This one is about ace!Etta, one of Magnus’s old exes. It also does the ace=not wanting sex thing, but the author is ace-spec so it’s got some perspective for sure. And it’s written so beautifully and such a lovely concept. **Warning for ace-phobia and brief sexual harassment) (I cried the first time I read this)
El Hijo De Santa Muerte by Gzmoii
“He stepped aside, letting Guadalupe in. She walked in with a careful nod, looking around at Magnus’ loft. Magnus snapped his fingers behind his back, hiding the potions and other magical ingredients around the loft. Given that Guadalupe wasn’t a mundane, she wouldn’t be able to notice the subtle shift as everything around the room moved.
Guadalupe’s head snapped toward him, “What was that?” She asked.”
(So this actually DOES have ace!Raphael, but I’m putting it here because it also has aro!Guadalupe Santiago, which is hella rad) (22 ch and counting)
You Aren’t Broken by allonsyarielle
(Ace!Alec but also demiromantic!Magnus)
-- -- --
Alright, that’s it for now!
Hope you all got something out of this! If you are one of the authors listed here and you want your fic/name OFF the list, please message me. If you have written an ace-friendly fic that you want included, hmu and I’ll check it out.
Depending on demand, I’ll hopefully be doing updated lists every so often, as well as spin-offs (for example, I have a small but growing list of Malec fics that just so happen to have really sweet comments about asexuality, or have ace!Raphael as a minor character). If you want to request any specific type of fic, please feel free to ask me, I’ve literally got folders overflowing.
Have a lovely, ace-friendly day!
Jimon ft a Jace jealous of Simon and Raphael's friendship that he confuses for a relationship. It's not Simon's fault vampires are so physical.
ALLO FRIEND i lovelovelove physical relationships and also jealous!jace is my Baby Boi so this was a great great time it gets kinda iffy like writing wise in the middle but i pulled out the end and now i REALLY like it i hope u do too THANK UU
convince me - 3.1k
Jace has never liked vampires. Ever. Don't like the way they slink around in the shadows like cowards, or how the cloying smell of blood stick to them constantly, or how they always lie and cheat their way into situations for their gain, the selfish bastards that they are.
Yea. Jace really does not like vampires.
At first he thought it was because of his dad, and everything Valentine had told him about the Downworld and how they "need to be eliminated" because they're a "scourge upon the human race." Valentine even made Jace believe it for a little while there, but he'd always known that wasn't really it. See, the thing is that Jace didn't necessarily hate all vampires; just 99.99 percent of them.
Because then there was the issue of Simon.
Jace was quite conflicted about the way he felt about Simon. On one hand, he was a vampire and had everything that came with it in spades: the smell of death, the night walking, the total inability to fend for himself without someone else to save his ass (although that was probably left over from when he was a kidnapping-prone Mundane), but on the other hand...
He really, really liked Simon.
It had taken him a while, at first. When they first met, Simon was just another Mundane sticking his nose into places where it didn't belong, which ultimately ended up with Jace having to deal with the consequences; namely, Clary. He had firmly believed that the sooner Simon was out of his hair, the better, because then maybe he could actually focus on finding the Mortal Cup for more than 5 minutes before having to run off and save him again. But then something had changed.
Even if you held a gun to his head, Jace couldn't tell you when or why he started looking at Simon differently. Maybe it was the way he was so devoted to Clary, even when he must have known that he never stood a chance. Or, maybe it was the way his smile lit up any room he was in, or how he always seemed to know when Jace needed to be taken down a notch of the arrogance meter, or the way his eyes seemed to sparkle when he laughed -
So. Jace really liked a vampire, and he was not very happy about it. And since Simon and Clary were nearly inseparable, that meant that he had to spend a lot of time with said vampire, as well as the clan leader of Brooklyn. Raphael was a vampire Jace definitely did not like; he spoke too softly, and always with an air that seemed to convey that he knew something you didn't. Needless to say, Jace never really like being around Raphael, even if it meant him staying away from Simon.
Alec had told him that he needed Simon for some reason or another, and of course, Jace was sent to go and get him. He complained under his breath all the way there, but another part of his brain (a very, very small but very loud part) was genuinely excited about seeing him. Jace hadn't seen Simon in almost a week, because he was always off doing one thing or another for Raphael. It was starting to get a little suspicious, how much they hung around each other, but Jace had pushed it out of his mind.
When he reached the boat house, he saw that the door was slightly ajar, meaning that Simon was awake. Jace pointedly ignored how even the thought of Simon made his heart jump, and he slowly pushed his way inside -
Only to stop dead in his tracks.
Simon was there, of course, awake and fidgeting with something in his hands, but Jace couldn't see what because his view was blocked by Raphael. That's not what shocked him, however. What made him stop was they way Raphael had his hand on Simon's cheek. And Simon was smiling. Jace felt his heart drop to the bottom of his stomach, and suddenly all of the little things between Simon and Raphael made all too much sense; the casual brushes of hands against arms, the prolonged hugs, the casual way Simon slung his arm around Raphael all the damn time.
Jace swallowed thickly as he slowly made his way out of the boat house, eyes still locked on the scene before him. Just before he was completely out of sight, Jace saw Simon pull Raphael into a tight hug and it felt like all of the air in the world was being sucked out of his lungs. He didn't know whether either of them had seen him, but right now, he didn't really care. Twisting around on his heel and trying to ignore the leaden sadness in his gut, Jace started home.
Alec could get Simon if he really needed him.
.
The next few day, Jace tried to avoid Simon as well as he could. Usually, it was easy, because he spent all his time in the boat house (and probably with Rapha -), but for some reason, he was hanging around the Institute like a kid bored on summer break.
More specifically, he was hanging around Jace.
Anytime he turned a corner, Simon was there. Talking to Clary and Izzy about something or other, and yet he always stopped and turned to talk to him instead. Jace tried (really, he did) to stop the way his chest filled up every time Simon smiled at him, but he couldn't. However, then he remembered how close he was with Raphael and that usually did the trick. He always ended up mumbling some half formed response of "having to go check with Alec" or even "left something in my room", whatever it too to get him away from that dazzling smile.
The 5th time it happened to him, Jace was about ready to go up to the roof and give the universe a piece of his mind. Simon was alone in the hallway, leaning against the wood paneling and looking at his phone disinterestedly. When he heard Jace, however, his head shot up and broke into a wide smile that left Jace weak in the knees.
"Hey, Jace! Uh, I had something to ask you..." Simon says, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck nervously, but for what Jace had no idea.
"Oh, uh, Simon, now's not really a good time..." Jace trails off, trying to find a semi-decent excuse that he hadn't used last time. Simon's face fell almost imperceptibly, but it was there, and Jace hated it.
"Ah. Sorry, I guess I'll, uh. I'll catch you later then?" Simon finished, eyes darting down to study the floor but not before Jace saw something almost like disappointment in them, which was ridiculous, because Simon had Raphael and why would he be disappointed over Jace?
"Yeah, definitely. Um, later. Say hi to Raphael for me" he said quickly, the words like acid on his tongue before pushing past Simon and rushing down the hall behind him. He ducked into the first open door and sagged against the frame, trying to catch his breath but not from walking down the hall.
Every time that Jace ran into Simon after that, it was always the same: he was alone, he said he had to ask Jace something, Jace would give a half-assed excuse before ducking out. Every time, he thought that he saw Simon get a little bit more frustrated, or even sadder, but he quickly pushed it out of his mind. It was probably just his mind playing tricks on him, trying to get him to think that Simon actually liked him as well. But of course he didn't. Obviously.
.
The next day, Jace walked into the control room only to be greeted by the sick stench of blood radiating from the middle of the room. His face twisted into disgust as he walked forward and tried to get a look at the vampire who was causing it.
Man, the universe really did hate him.
He knew it was Raphael even though he couldn't see his face; no other vampire this close to the Institute wore suits like that. Simon stood next to him, shoulders relaxed and hands shoved into his back pockets, forearms stretching over Raphael's arm that's slung around his waist. Jace's throat closes up in an instant, hands balling into fists even though he knows he shouldn't be jealous. Simon is happy with Raphael; that much is obvious. But that sentiment can't stop the thoughts of Jace stalking up to them, pushing Raphael aside and claiming Simon as his from pushing to the front of his mind. That's what he wants to do. So, so desperately wants Simon to be his, and his alone.
But that is not his decision to make.
With all the strength he can muster, Jace tears his eyes away from the two in front of him and steps forward, seeing Izzy over their shoulder. He pointedly ignores both of them as he walks up to Izzy, just glad for some sort of distraction. He's barely drawn a breath to start talking to her before -
"Hey, Jace. Um, can we talk? Alone?" Simon says quietly as he taps his shoulder. Jace turns around slowly, trying to figure out a way to get out of it this time but coming up blank. He ends up just staring at Simon, lips pressed tightly together before replying with a short answer.
"Sure."
Simon's face brightens at the prospect, and flashes a quick smile at Jace before turning away and leading him into one of the many corridors. He follows slowly, anticipation building in the pit of his stomach. He'd tried to avoid this for so long, he doesn't even really have an idea as to what Simon had to ask him. Simon comes to a stop at the end of the hall and faces Jace, eyes glinting in the low light of the Institute. Jace swallows hard again, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck just so it has something to do.
"So, uh. I think you've been avoiding me? And I don't know why, and I just like - wanted to check to see if I had like, said something or done something, because if I did, I'm really sorry, but uh, yeah. Well, that's the first part -" Simon starts, making eye contact with Jace briefly before darting to the other corners of the room, hands twisting each other nervously. Jace felt a small bit of growing fear in his mind, because if he had to tell Simon the truth...
Well, he would ruin everything.
"Oh, uh. No, no, it's nothing about you. Well, it kinda is, but - no, it's not you Simon. I'm just - yeah. It's definitely not you." Jace stammers out, trying to read the confused and crestfallen look on Simon's face as something other than disappointment.
"So, if it's not me, then why? I mean, I thought we were pretty good friends." Simon says back, voice cracking a little bit on the last word.
"Sure, uh. I've just been - I've been pretty busy." Jace said halfheartedly, wincing as it even sounded made up to him, and wondering just how fake Simon thought it was. Jace watched his face tighten in confusion as he opened his mouth to try and continue - before snapping it shut and just letting out a sigh instead. Jace felt a wave of relief wash over him, because he really didn't have any idea what to say if he had asked.
"Oh. Okay. Well, uh, I guess my second question is...Um, shit. This is a lot harder than I expected it to be." Simon let out a forced laugh as he tried to lighten the situation but failing miserably. His eyes continued to dart around the corridor, not ever once landing on Jace. He couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of disappointment at that; he really liked looking at Simon's eyes.
"Ask me what?" Jace bit out, sounding a lot nastier than he had intended to. He regretted it instantly, because it made Simon sigh heavily and shove his hands deep in his pockets, like he was ashamed of what he was about to say.
“Well, ah. I was, um. I was wondering if you - would you like to get dinner with me? Sometime?”
The silence that fell between the two of them was stifling, only punctuated by Jace’s shallow breaths. His mind was rapidly trying to catch up with this turn of events, almost letting him be excited before the reality of the situation hit him fully.
“Is this some kind of joke to you?” he said bitterly, trying to stem the disappointment that rose in his chest. Was Simon serious? Why would he ask him something like that? Especially since not 20 seconds ago, he was clinging to his boyfriend like a lifeline.
“Jace, I don’t - what?”
“Are you serious? You think that you can just pretend to ask me out even though I know you can’t?”
“Jace, what are you talking about -”
“Don’t you think I see the way Raphael practically drapes himself over you? Honestly, even Magnus and Alec aren’t this clingy.” The words drip out of his mouth like acid, burning and cruel. Simon flinched backwards, face contorting into an expression of profound hurt and...confusion.
“Jace -” Simon tries to interrupt, but Jace just keeps talking over him, anger washing over him in waves and waves, flooding out of him. Simon had never been this way, has never laughed in Jace’s face about something he couldn’t have, and the fact that he was stung Jace hard and deep.
“What, Simon? What else do you want from me? Well wishes on your relationship? Dating advice? Why won’t you just leave me alone -”
“JACE.”
His mouth snapped shut, surprised at the force behind Simon’s words. Simon’s eyes burned with annoyance, and yet underneath it was just the faintest hint of excitement. He was excited about humiliating Jace? God, he’d really have to look at why he’s so helplessly in love with this guy afterwards, Jace thought savagely. Simon stared him down for a bit, throat working as if he was trying to dig the words out of his vocal chords. Jace watched anxiously, just ready for this whole thing to be over so he could go to the training room and whale on a punching bag until he felt better.
“Jace. Raphael and I aren’t dating. We’re not together, never have been.”
Jace felt his heart drop at least 3 stories as Simon finished talking. He couldn’t help his mouth dropping open, because of course they’re dating, obviously.
“But - in the boathouse -” he sputtered, trying desperately to grab at any sort of evidence he had. Simon and Raphael were always together, always touching and hugging and whatever. There’s no other explanation. Obviously.
“Oh, you saw his hand thing.” Simon said shyly, blush staining his cheekbones and he was supposed to be mad at him right now, it is not the time to be thinking about how utterly adorable he looks.
“Well, yea! I’d say that pretty strongly suggests that you are, Simon.” Jace shot back, confused at just exactly what was going on here. Simon - Raphael? They weren’t - really? So, was Simon - did he just try to ask him out?
“Jace, like a second later he slapped me.”
Jace just stared at him dumbly, and watched Simon tried to hide the happiness that flooded into his eyes at watching him. He was still trying to sort out all of the information that he’d just been given, and it was proving to be a little harder than he expected.
“Jace? So? Will you have dinner with me?” Simon asked again, louder this time, but still filled with the same nervous anxiety as the first time.
“So, just to reiterate. You and Raphael - are not a thing.” Jace repeated, squeezing his eyes shut and rubbing his temples, excitement welling up in his chest. He - he actually had a chance. As the realization hit him in the chest, his eyes flew open and landed right on to Simon, standing nervously in front of him.
“Yes. Honestly, I’m shocked that you would even think that. I mean, I definitely do not like Raphael -” Simon started with a forced laugh that became more genuine. His smile grew wider and wider as Jace looked at him for longer and longer, before he was suddenly cut off by Jace grabbing his shoulders and looking at him directly in the eyes
“So if I kiss you right now, no one would be angry.” he said quietly, throat working as he swallowed nervously at whatever Simon’s response was going to be. However, at that moment, Simon’s brain decided to switch off all rational thought, leaving him only able to shake his head jerkily. “Oh, thank fucking God.” Jace breathed out right before pressing his lips onto Simon’s
It was like a string had snapped, all of the jealousy Jace had been harboring over the past couple days suddenly evaporating into the air. He could only focus on this, and now, and how Simon felt underneath him, solid and steady. He tilted his head slightly to the right so his nose could brush past Simon’s, making it easier for him to lick his way into Simon’s mouth. Jace waited for the gasp after he swept his tongue over Simon’s bottom lip before crowding him even closer to the wall, just needing more. Simon responded in the same way, hands curling loosely into the front of Jace’s shirt and kissing back with just as much force.
They broke apart slowly, Jace’s chest moving up and down quietly with every breath he took, head never moving more than an inch apart from Simon’s. Their eyes stayed closed even after they pulled away, but only for a second, until Jace opened his again to find Simon staring intently at him, eyes bright. The sight made Jace’s chest tighten up and hands press into Simon’s side a little bit harder.
“So, can I take that as a yes?” Simon said breathlessly, one of his trademark grins stretching wide over his mouth. Jace couldn’t help it as his face did the same thing.
“I don’t know. I think you might have to convince me a little bit more.” Jace murmured into Simon’s ear, teeth grazing his earlobe a tiny bit and relishing in the small noise it pulled from the back of Simon’s throat.
“Oh. Well I think I can do that.” Simon said back, moving one of his hands from the front of Jace’s shirt to the back of his head, where he gently tugged the hair there and pulled Jace back into another kiss.
They did end up going to dinner on Friday. They went to Hunter’s Moon and Maia teased Jace for at least half an hour about how long it took him to realize that every time he looked away from Simon, Simon started to stare at him.
I was tagged by the lovely @flowercrownedraphael and,,,i’m so sorry it took me this long to do this,,,,,,
goal: tag nine people you want to know better!
relationship status: *cicadas*
favorite color: any shade of pink
last song i listened to: Be Mine by Ofenbach
top three shows: Shadowhunters, Supernatural (used to be first but Shadowhunters has truly fucked me up) and Black Sails
top three characters: mah boi Raphael Santiago, my son Jace Herondale and my beautiful problematic daughter Nihal top three ships: the Gay Vampires™ aka Saphael, Wincest and Hinakage
aaand i tag @eversall, @grayacejace, @bimonlewis, @softmagnusbane, @deliriumkitsune, @simonsnoe, @claryslays, @samspurpletoothbrush, @jaceslewis
ahhhh congrats on 2k!!!!! 💖 + @eversall, @hufflebee, @catharinaloss
thank you so much !!! love you <3
@eversall - your blog is so lovely and ur posts are A+++++ you seem like such a lovely person, rational and level-headed, and so so positive !!!! ur mobile theme is so lovely as well !!
@hufflebee - already done but have some extra love <3
@catharinaloss - already done but have some extra love <3
@softjimon - already done but have some extra love <3
asdfghjkl i love your corporate au and if u want ideas here's something based off my own workplace, for either jimon or malec (prob works better for jimon bc they're have more of a similar position): "they're installing new software and an extra monitor at my desk so I've had to move into half of your desk place and we are VERY CLOSE TOGETHER and YOU ARE MORE ATTRACTIVE THEN I THOUGHT AND - aaaaaand you're an idiot that lets his laptop overheat to the point of setting a small fire, great."
omg it’s really cool to get a message from u bc i adore ur fics so much so thank u so much omg! I love that idea so much i may have to use it in part 3
