#everyonegames

[wesschneider]

GaymerX • Year Four

Support GaymerX in our fourth year of celebrating gaming for everyone!

You’re All Backing GX4—RIGHT?

GaymerX is one of the best conventions I’ve ever been too.

It’s also the most important.

I implore you, if you haven’t already backed or at least looked at the GX4 Kickstarter, please take a few moments to consider supporting this amazing LGBTQ community extravaganza, the creators behind it, and the whirlwind of fantastic conversations surrounding it.

GaymerX Year Four will feature nearly 60,000 square feet of indie games and parties, talks and panel discussions focused on diversity and representation, and inclusive social cultures that showcase that truly #EveryoneGames.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/gaymercon/gaymerx-year-four?ref=users

Why Do We Need GaymerX?

It’s never been stated better than by Boss of Honor alumni David Gaider in this touching post...

“I get it. I really do. I come from an era where sexuality wasn't something you would consider even acknowledging in the gaming world, never mind treating as something worth representing. If you were gay, you just accepted the fact that entertainment would never show that aspect of your life as anything more than some character's dirty little secret, or a funny gag. Nobody cared about what you thought or wanted, and maybe you even believed that's the way it should be. The idea that anything else was even possible was completely foreign to you -- as it was to me when BioWare first broached the subject in Knights of the Old Republic (2003) and then Jade Empire (2005). The idea to do so certainly didn't come from me, and I was shocked when I heard we were doing it. I thought for certain the backlash would be both harsh and immediate, but that really didn't come until later...at the time, it opened up my eyes regarding what was possible. I didn't need to write stories that were solely meant for other people. I could also include some that were meant for me, or people like me. I was an intentional part of that vague group known as "the audience", not just an incidental one. It's taken a lot of time to get used to what that means. Indeed, the idea that we're at a point where groups can argue about the type of representation and how much, instead of whether it's possible to be there *at all*, really shows how far we've come.

“But I digress. My point is that, when I went to the very first GaymerX in 2013, I had some of these same thoughts myself. The idea that anyone needed a "safe space" seemed like the sort of coddling that was repellent to me, as if it was impossible to be both gay and a geek in a public space without having one's precious feelings hurt. Coming from the era I did, "deal with it" was an attitude you heard a lot, so I suppose that's what I instinctively expected from others even if I should have known better. Gay or not, I'm still a white guy who's been pretty fortunate. Not everyone has it as easy as me. So while I was interested in seeing what a "gay gaming con" had to offer, I was also wary.

“It didn't seem that different at first. Lots of cosplay, check. Lots of fan art and various indie games on display in the main hall, check.  Discussion panels with lineups, check. Excited gaggles of folks clustered in the hallways or just looking exhausted, check. There was a distinct queer theme visible throughout, from the cosplay to the art to the games, but it didn't seem THAT different from what I could see elsewhere. I'll admit to wondering what it was that someone like me could really get out of this.

“It wasn't until the second day at that first con I realized my answer. I forget exactly what had happened, but it was something Very Gay (tm), and I was so delighted I needed to gush to someone about it. The folks I'd come to the con with were elsewhere, so I turned to a pair of gents next to me and exclaimed, "Oh my God! Can you believe that?!" They were right there with me, and we babbled a bit over how you indeed wouldn't see that just anywhere. There were a few finger snaps, some laughs, and then we went on our separate ways with big grins.

“That's when it hit me: I hadn't employed the filter.

“You may not have any idea what I mean by that. You may not need "the filter". Indeed, you might be queer yourself and not even be actively aware of it, because it's always with you -- that filter which you use to constantly censor all your thoughts and feelings based on the comfort levels of everyone else around you. You have to judge where you are, what sorts of people may be there, and what's okay to talk about. What's okay to expose yourself to. Can I hold my boyfriend's hand? Can I notice the handsome man on the other side of the room without it perhaps being interpreted as an ogle and thus an affront to his masculinity? Can I shout "YASSS QUEEN" when one of my friends shows up in a fierce dress? Is that guy actually giving me a dirty look, or is it my imagination? Does that mean I should be extra careful going back to my car later? I'm not even what I would call effeminate, but this filter is something I have to constantly employ. Every day. Of my entire life. No matter where I go, even to cons full of fellow geeks.

“Except there. In that moment, I realized that I had turned to someone next to me and I was able to assume they'd also be gay -- or, if not, they'd be okay with it. It made me realize how very different it was to suddenly not need that filter...even if it was just for a brief time. Those of you asking why GaymerX is even necessary just don't understand. How could you? A "safe space" isn't coddling -- it's liberating, as in the kind of freedom you don't need because you enjoy it every day.

“Another thing I've noticed over time, as well: the people who go to GaymerX seem to be happier. I don't mean happy as in "gay" (though, sure, also that), but happy as in...they're happy for everyone *else* as much as for themselves. They're happy everyone is there. Queer communities do exist in many cities, but I'm not sure everyone has the chance to be part of them even when they're present. For many attending something like GaymerX, this may very well be their first chance to experience the idea that they're not alone anywhere that wasn't online. At every one of these cons, I've seen groups actively inviting others to join them, people embracing total strangers and forming friendships that (I hope) could last far beyond the con's end.

“It's enough to warm the cold cockles of even my jaded heart, enough to make me think these cons are worth far more than the themed discussion panels or the networking or what have you. It's about community, about awareness, about fostering healthy attitudes among geeks from all walks of life, and thus I think it absolutely has a place alongside the other cons. Maybe one day it won't be necessary, but for now I salute those who spend so much time and energy putting this together for others to enjoy (I'd name names, but I'd likely forget some folks who deserve mention and so I won't) and wish both them and GaymerX all the best in the years to come.”

Thanks for Reading! GX4 Kickstarter

[fabrickind]

Here it is: my GaymerX2 con report/review.

It's a bit long, so most of it will be under the cut.

Overall, it was a well-run con with an inclusive atmosphere and interesting panels that went more in-depth about cultural and ideological issues than most other convention panels. However, there were some issues that could be improved in terms of panel quality, inclusivity, and con organization.

The good:

- Overall really welcoming atmosphere. People weren't rude or creepy. People weren't judgmental. People were really friendly. If anything, people were too friendly, as there was a little less attention paid to respecting personal space than I would have liked. Overall, really friendly and welcoming, though.

- Cosplay scene was small, but great. Everyone seemed to love my cosplays, and everyone seemed appreciative of the work that the few cosplayers there put into their outfits. The ballgowns got an overwhelmingly positive response, two people recognized my Lady Blackpearl cosplay (I guess a queer character from an old obscure JRPG was the right choice for this con!), and I wasn't creeped on at all even in my sexy Kanaya cosplay. Everyone really loved nachttour's ballgown Aradia cosplay, which was really great. :]

- Panels were generally good. There were exceptions, but overall, the panels were great. I'll give special mention to Finding a Good Fit and Education and Understanding of Queer Lifestyles for being particularly quality panels. It's nice to see more serious panels at conventions, as I am interested in scholarly critical analysis, cultural critique, and critical and ideological theory more than I am in in-character ask panels or celebrity guest Q&A panels (typical con panel fare). 

- It was really cool that the badges had a space for preferred pronouns, though this system could have been implemented a little better (I have sent the convention an email with my suggestions).

- It was really rad to play all of the indie games set up. I was disappointed that Crystal Warrior Ke$ha was replaced by another game, but I enjoyed most everything I played. A Perfect Woman was especially fun, and the trajectory of my life was pretty accurate to my personality and good for a laugh. (I also talked with the developer for a bit, which was nice.) I didn't get to play all the games, but I enjoyed most of the ones that I did play.

- Overall, really well organized and well-run con. Things seemed to start and end on time, signage was decent (with a few exceptions detailed below), scheduling was good, programming guide was good, location was pretty nice, etc.

The bad:

- I might as well start off with my gripes about the signage, since I mentioned it just above. First of all, the gender neutral bathrooms were on different floors than were listed in the programming guide, and while there were signs around giving the new location, and I'm sure that there was a good reason for the switch, this had potential to cause some issues, especially for those who are less mobile. Not a huge deal, though, since the signage was accurate. My main problem was with the stairs -- on Saturday, there were signs telling people to use the stairs (with an implied "if able to"), and the stairs were fairly easy to find, with clearly marked entrance and exit doors. However, on Sunday, the clearly marked stairs signs were gone, and maps of the hotel were difficult to access (typically in a crowded elevator lobby), so it was difficult to find the stairs. I went towards what I thought was the stairs at one point, and was stopped by a staff member who told me to get in line for a panel rather than helping me find where I was trying to go. Not a huge deal, and if one of the biggest issues with this con was lack of signage, then I'd say it was successful.

- Along the lines of lack of signage, there was a lack of panel descriptions. Some panels had descriptions on the website, but not all did, and there was a lack of descriptions in the programming guide. This made it difficult to decide which panels to attend (especially if there were multiple interesting-sounding panels at the same time), since some of the titles were vague. (I also went to one panel that wasn't at all what I expected, and I probably would have gone to another panel at the same time had I known what it was actually going to be about, since it wasn't an area of interest of mine.)

- Panels. Yes. Most of the ones I went to ranged from excellent to decent. There was one panel, however, that was actually really problematic, to the point of being almost offensively bad. This panel focused mainly on (cis)men, with only a few side mentions of other gender identities (though did touch a little on a potential variety of masculine presentation). It also perpetuated harmful stereotypes and narratives that would, when examined for more than a few moments, would be seen for how problematic they are (there is very little wiggle room on interpretation on how one of these particular narratives could be positive, if one knows the cultural history behind it). There were other stereotypes and narratives that were put forth that are far more complicated than the panel seemed to give credit to, and it seemed to accept certain stereotypes and narratives as being an automatic and unqualified Good Thing, when the reality is much more complicated, and when some of these stereotypes can easily be interpreted either way (and that I personally interpret as harmful to perpetuate). I was shaking my head in disbelief and sometimes disgust during this particular panel. It was easily one of the most negative experiences I had at this con.

- I was really happy with the diversity in the attendees and the topics presented on the panels, and I was pleasantly surprised at the level of trans inclusivity and awareness at the panels I attended, but I feel like this could have gone a lot farther. As usual with this type of discourse, it felt like the main focus was on gay (cis)men and (straight-coded) (cis)women, with other groups making an appearance but not being as much of the focus. I attended panels by or heard mention by panelists of most sexual and gender minority groups (there was a noticeable lack of asexual and aromantic awareness though -- I didn't personally hear a single mention of these groups), but gay (cis)men and (cis)women seemed to be the assumed focus for much of the conversation I heard. There were also some moments where I felt that someone who identified as non-binary would be uncomfortable, as there were a few comments by panelists that assumed binary genders. I would like to see more awareness of different groups, and perhaps more awareness and utilization of "queer" as a political and identity category (rather than as simply a descriptor), awareness that would acknowledge that "queer" is about a plurality of non-mainstream ways of existence, and is about destabilizing the hegemonic rather than making the margins acceptable. (I realize that these are problematic [in some ways, but powerful in many others] and specific politics, and I'm not looking for this con to be about a single political movement. What I am looking for is an awareness of "queer" as strange and plural and massive and individual, rather than as massive single-identity groups. I feel that this awareness would bring in more inclusion of people who feel marginalized even by the core of the LGBTQ+ community [using that acronym rather than a more inclusive one to make a point].)

Though, I did see one booth in the exhibit hall selling asexual pride merch, and I heard that someone asked at a Bioware panel about including asexual romance in their games, so maybe I should qualify my above statement about not seeing any asexual inclusion -- but only a little. (I believe the booth with asexual pride merch was next to a booth with uncensored pornography on display -- it's an 18+ con, whatever, but it seems a bit ironic to have something so sexual displayed so close to a booth with items for a group who may be repulsed by such images, especially at a con about inclusion of all sexual identities!)

(Kind of a minor thing, but I think it speaks to the general atmosphere of inclusion at this con.)

- Speaking of panels and the types of discourse involved, I was actually really surprised at how low the level of discourse was at this convention. It was probably fine for the average convention goer, and it was certainly a higher level of discourse about these topics than at any other fandom-related convention I've attended, but for someone like myself who is steeped in cultural critical theory and in ideological analysis and deconstruction, there was surprisingly little to go off of. Some of the more interesting panels were about personal experiences being queer (and fat, and a professor, etc.) and a gamer (gaming professor, etc.), and not the panels (or parts of panels) that talked about the actual content of games. I would have liked to see panels or varying levels of discourse and on varying topics -- panels about personal experiences, panels about representation in games and the content of games, panels about ideological concerns in gaming, etc. -- rather than only hearing about representation.

Since I have some political issues with simply looking at representation (especially in the way that it seemed to be looked at in many of these panels), and because I actually really don't care all that much about pure representation as a concern, I found that a lot of this information was not at all helpful or interesting. I would have liked to have seen panels that dealt with how games interact with ideologies, or panels about critical and theoretical analysis of games, or even a panel on why "good representation" is a problematic concept and not the end-all-be-all of queer interest or issues in games. (If this con comes back at a future date, I will gladly run some of these panels, by the way.) A lot of the discourse of this con seemed to take "good representation" as an objective standard (or even a goal to attain) without really examining what "good" representation means, or what seeing oneself in a game really means, or what it means for a non-queer player to see themself in a queer character, or how "good" representation cannot exist because a character cannot be all things to all people and perfectly politically positive (to all politics, even to all subversive politics) all of the time, etc. etc. I would have liked to see more on how ideology, the game industry, etc. shapes the ways that game characters are created, and how these characters relate back to (and reinforce and/or subvert) larger discourses, and how players can take these characters and interpret them in ways never indented, etc. There tended to be a lot of assumption that there is Meaning and Truth behind representations, rather than looking for the multitude of meanings and truths and how and why these meanings exist and what potential they have. It's more an issue of not being able to look beyond a certain preoccupation to see other issues or to be able to really look at and examine the current preoccupation than it is with the preoccupation itself being bad, if that makes sense.

Even without looking at "good representation" in games, the level of discourse was still surprisingly low, with very little theoretical or really even deep personal thought or ideas behind it. Overall, the panels were good, and I felt that I got a lot out of going to this convention (I would attend again in a heartbeat), but I felt like I was a player used to hard mode who was forced to go back and play easy and normal modes. (Is reading Donna Haraway hard mode in this analogy? I think so.) It isn't that the game is bad, or that easy and normal modes aren't well-balanced for players at that level -- it's that there didn't seem to be a high enough difficulty setting for those of us who wanted it. (If I had to switch over to a school analogy, I would say that the level of discourse was probably undergraduate level -- some of it was those lower-division classes that feel like high school classes, some of it was good solid lower-division classes, and some of it was easier upper-division classes, but I'd like something that is more like a harder upper-division class or even on a graduate level. Having the option for differing levels of discourse over the course of the con would have been fantastic.)

Also, I'm not kidding about being willing to run panels. If someone from the con is reading this, hit me up. It wouldn't be my first time in a classroom-like setting or even giving a scholarly panel at a fandom-related convention. If I end up knowing about it in enough time, I'll probably even end up submitting some ideas. 

I would say that in the overall analysis, this was a really good, positive convention with a really positive atmosphere. I enjoyed all the panels I went to but that one I mentioned above. As I've said, I would gladly attend again,and even contribute to this convention, but there are some improvements that could be made. :]

this is the most political thing i've posted and probably will ever post

[lorca-the-great]

I left GaymerX2 with so much inspiration to continue the amazing conversations and community that were developed over the short 3 days. Thank you to all my fellow volunteers for being awesome (especially Team Awesome)! On my drive north I had so many epiphanies about what I want to do in my future career with utilizing video game creation within an art therapy context.

I had so much fun, met so many new friends, and learned even more. It'll take a lot more time to process all of the conversations that we were having, and I dearly hope we can continue them.

Until next time, GaymerX! (New convention name to be announced at a later date).

[nintendogaymer]

“Some people just want to go & kill shit.” –+David Gaider #NintendoGaymer @GaymerX #GX2 #GaymerX2 #EveryoneGames #NintendoGaymerX http://click-to-read-mo.re/p/8bgI/53633fcc