#evil elves

[clownaddict]

So the Druchii and the Drukhari are pretty similar because they’re both dark evil sadistic motherfuckers(literally and figuratively) who live in dark spiked spires and dress up in thorns and leather and bdsm gear who attend massive torture-orgies daily who just loooooves their slaves and their flaying chambers

The only difference is one does it for fun and the other does it for fun and necessity

See? Not complicated to differentiate at all.

[chernobog13]

This why Santa doesn't bring the elves with him on Christmas Eve.

[creepycoolxmashorror]

[reallivegeekgirl]

Okay, so in TFatWS it's established that Lord of the Rings exists. I think they refer to the movies in some way. And now I'm wondering, when the superheroes in the MCU watch the LotR movies, do they notice that all the elves look like their villains and one of them looks like Hulk's ex-girlfriend?

[rosemariecawkwell]

Extract and Promo Post: 'Candy Canes and Buckets of Blood', by Heide Goody and Iain Grant

Extract and Promo Post: ‘Candy Canes and Buckets of Blood’, by Heide Goody and Iain Grant

Blurb

Christmas is a time for families to come together.

Guin Roberts can’t think of anything worse than visiting a Christmas market with her new family. Guin is perfectly happy with own company and doesn’t want that disrupted by her wisecracking stepbrother and his earnest mum.

Their Christmas celebrations are invaded by a sleigh full of murderous elves. And it doesn’t matter if they’ve…

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[goofygoldengirl]

Do Marry Kill Evil™ Elf Edition

Arravos? 

Lotor?

 Or Malekith? 

[lilsherlockian1975]

This conversation last night between me and Mr Lil...

(First you should know what started it. All of our Christmas decorations are put away, but he managed to forget this little elf thing on the mantle...)

Me: Babe, *eyeing the elf* you forgot to put away that damn elf.

Mr Lil: *looks up* Oh, I’ll get it tomorrow.

Me: *still eyeing the elf* Have I ever told you that I hate it?

Mr Lil: What? The elf? How could you hate the elf, it’s adorable.

(okay, it’s not! it’s scary af)

Me: Well, it’s a bit... terrifying.

Mr Lil: It’s a beloved childhood memory!

Me: You never mentioned it until your grandmother gave it to you three years ago.

(fyi, his grandmother’s evil)

Mr Lil: But...

Me: It bother’s me, okay?

Mr Lil: Why?

Me: I don’t know. *eyeing the damn thing again* Sometimes I wonder if your grandma put a nanny cam in it to make sure I’m cleaning the house to her specifications? (that might explain why she hates me so much) Or, what if it’s possessed, like Chucky.

Mr Lil: *laughing* Come on, don’t be ridiculous.

Me: *I turn and take his hand* You’re right. I’m pretty sure it’s a Horcrux. A tiny bit of your grandmother’s blackened soul is living in that ungodly thing and it...it... it makes me feel like I’ll never be cheerful again.

Mr Lil: *laughing even harder until he sees my face* It’s okay, love. I’ll get rid of it, you’ll never see it again. *gets up and goes to the mantle to get the evil elf*

Me: Do you have a basilisk fang somewhere that I don’t know about?

Mr Lil: How ‘bout I just toss it into the fire pits of Mordor.

Me: You can’t mix franchises like that. The magic’s all wrong.

(and that’s my marriage in a nut shell)

[waywardkoiyouth-blog]

Evil Emotion Elves

That feeling in your chest when your trying to hard to explain something to someone who is completely beyond the capabilities of understanding you, not from ignorance but rather their own substance abuse stupidity, and your trying your hardest to explain some piece of information to them but they just don’t seem to get it. You know that feeling like your chest is being squeezed by all the evil little emotion elves inside you that like to make you as uncomfortable as possible, as often as possible.