#evolvewithshaunfury

[shaunfury]

Blackout.

In the end it was all drug induced. In some of the more poignant situations the drug may have been synthesized within my own mind. And manufactured there as well. But what is special is the ability to look at things differently under the influence of …anything. Love. Enlightenment. Marijuana. Cocaine. Acid. Happiness. Depression. Each one having a different effect on the psyche. Then one becomes obsessed with displaying them all. Or at least the ones that are deemed worthy of replicating. And they all are. Every feeling that’s ever been felt throughout the history of man is worthy of replication. Even the most painful ones. What else do we have if not feeling?

Two years later. Two years later and the experience was a cerebral one. Just like they all are. Just like they’ve always been. Nothing ever happens in real life. Yet it does serve multiple purposes. It is good. Creating rungs for which one can climb and elevate themselves to see the world a bit better. At least, from a higher vantage point. And the purpose of life is never discovered. What’s a much more satisfying journey to undertake and delve into, the purpose of oneself; made clearer only through the repetition of acts that are in line with one’s truest nature. The instinct that this decision and every decision leading up to it was the right one. No time for second guessing when you’ve got such a mission at hand. One that will take your whole life to accomplish. That mission. The one that involves a whole slew of other characters. All interwoven into your story. They are the seasoning. The spices. The flavors. They help create the feeling.

I am…I try to be, more than who I was yesterday. Open to new experiences. Documenting them. Not as important as I initially believed. Having them. That’s where the real fun is. Not knowing what’s going to happen next. Riding a wave of excitement. And when it crashes and you find yourself alone in those dark rooms with nothing but the sound of your own voice to keep you company. You welcome this strange companion as an old friend. One who you have been on countless adventures with. And at that moment you are taking a brief respite with him. Future adventures are inevitable. You look forward to them as you reminisce about the ones you have already lived through. How long life must be to be so full of memories. Useless memories that are priceless. A paradox of the only universe this species has ever known.

To build upon preexisting beliefs. To take everything that is within my power to take. To change and alter and mold the world in whatever way I see fit. To get myself into situations I can not conceive of with people I did not conjure out of my imagination. In places that existed before I did. To play. To find interest in the world around me. And to control the energy that resides within me. The energy that will take me to the perch that is my destiny to sit upon. The energy that I shall master and wield artfully, purposefully, and skillfully. This is my mission. To show the world another “slice of life”. A new style. A happy camper. Yet still so powerful.                                                                                                      – Shaun D. Fury

[shaunfury]

Strides.

Big World. Small world. Depends on who you ask. Chug chug chug. Glug glug glug. Can’t spell that word that is used to describe words sounding like the effect that the word produces. SMACK. Ono mono pea. That’s wrong. Maybe life is about getting more comfortable with the things that you can and can’t do. Like spelling that word. I can spell “Chrysanthemum”. I’ve been able to spell it since that one time I was using the bathroom at my old house. My mother referred to it as the powder room. It was directly underneath the staircase. A very small bathroom, that was scented with potpourri. Whenever someone visited the house and had to use the bathroom they would be directed to the powder room. Down the hall first door on your left. The light switch was attached to the light hanging from overhead. It was one of those dangly ones, that you had to pull to switch on and off. But there was this one time when I was urinating in the powder room. I don’t remember the context of this urination. I don’t remember what was going on before and after. I think I remember friends being over. Going somewhere afterwards. Something. I tried not to take shits in the powder room. Too cramped. Like a public stall. There was this painting of the flower positioned directly above the toilet. You could see it every time you stood in front of the thing and set your penis to purpose. The painting of the flower and it’s correct spelling directly beneath it with a little definition of what the flower was. I remember staring at the word that day choosing to break it apart and memorize it piece by piece. First I spelled “Chrys”, which is spelled just like “Chris” only with a “y”. Then “an” which is a very commonly used word in the English language. As is “the” which is the word that comes right after “an”. And lastly is “mum”. As in, “My Mum!” As in, “my mum who purchased this painting of a chrysanthemum and placed it above the toilet in the powder room to be stared at when a man came to take a piss.”

My parents didn’t fail in raising me or my brother. It’s hard to think that things could’ve worked out any differently than how they did. Life is simply not dangerous enough. What on earth were they expecting? Alphas and Betas. Leaders and followers. History documented the conquests of great men. Men who were properly motivated to rise to the task of changing the world in whatever way they saw fit. And now, society is much more complicated. Not much can be done by just one man. One human individual. Maybe he can be the driving force behind a movement...better off just being an example of intelligence expressed by living simply. The contradiction is quite glaring obviously. Fake tits still cause my head to turn. Wealth and success still exist at the forefront of my mind. Along with all the other unpolished qualities I possess reminding me of the undeniable fact: I am incomplete. But dogs chase cars right up unto the moment they catch them.

There is this frustration that resides within me. I am the dog that knows the car is not worth chasing but still commit myself to the act because it breaks up the monotony of sitting on the porch all day staring out into space. The porch will still be there upon my return. By the time that I am old and my joints are less than agreeable, the porch and I shall be lifelong friends. And perhaps I shall be less motivated to chase the big shiny objects rolling around on those thick, rubber wheels of theirs. Maybe I’ll be content to watch them pass and not stir from my perch. Or not.

I was going to conquer the world. Instead I fear that I succeeded in conquering my own head. Life is just not dangerous enough. To move just for the sake of moving. Marvelling at the act of muscles contracting and stretching.

I know none of this is real. I know. But still, I really do enjoy playing the game. For what it’s worth.

                                                                            - The Enlightened One

[shaunfury]

The building of inner circuitries, invisible to the naked eye yet felt by all who aid in its construction. To diminish with the passage of time only to be reignited at the briefest chance encounter. As long as it is willed. As long as we are willing...#TheEnlightenedOne #EvolveWithShaunFury #writing #acting #art #artists #purpose #tortoise #humanity #hollywood #hollywoodgold

[shaunfury]

A Mildly Constructive Space Explorer on Drugs.

Amphetamines. Jigsaw puzzles for the mind. Pushups for the body. Silence for the soul. Sweet silence. There’s this feeling of discomfort that’s accompanied with attending those nicer outings. The ones where you can’t get in with sweatpants on. Of course, you’re not supposed to be allowed to wear sweatpants everywhere. So there’s that. It doesn’t all have to be written down. Only the stuff that sparks creativity, or inspiration for future creativity. It’s not depressing though to find myself in a hamster wheel. Cycling over and over again, yet somehow each rotation brings me a different perspective on everything. Perspective. Beautiful. Books and other forms of content all made because of a never-ending increase of perspective.

Wisdom. Wisdom. Wisdom....Wisdom acquired from chasing a dream or passion. Discovering what is difficult and what is necessary and what hurdles one encounters running such a race. Such a marathon. My father. My brother. My mother. All living separate lives from myself. My friends. Who I am dragging along towards this destination of greatness. To be at the top of the world when it is all over. Oh one can dream. One can imagine. One can believe. A movie! A great big fantastical movie. We can get away with it. There seems to be some glaring error that I refuse to acknowledge however. There were those days spent in a small town. Working at the local diner. Flirting with the wait staff. Young and carefree. I ignored what my father said. That the only thing I was good at was working out and taking pictures of myself. “Welcome to my generation,” is what I should’ve said to my father. But I knew that was not the truth. For as many as there are vain, and self-indulgent and narcissistic, that populate this planet. There are heroes that live and breathe amongst us. Individuals who care less about showing off their best self to the rest of the world. Making themselves desirable to their designated social constructs. Their worlds. There exists the ones that simply are not interested. No fucks given. And they are happy as can be. No scoffing. No anger at the way the rest of the world thinks. Just kind of...suspicious.

A little more than a bit innocuous. Perhaps sixty percent. Then the other forty percent would have to be curiosity. There’s one thing, changing one’s own disposition to be brighter, more positive, an increase in their mental health. But more to take it further and actually change physical properties. Things that truly do exist outside of my brain. Their existence proven by the acknowledgement of thousands if not millions of other sentient creatures. Oh god. Such a desire. To alter reality in such a way. To prove oneself as the most powerful wizard in all the land. And then there is a crash of course. Because to succeed at the endeavor would also be the most humbling experience in the world. Thank god the road is long and arduous. More like tedious. More like time-consuming. More like Sisyphus! Exactly like Sisyphus. My Greek counterpart. The man who taught me how to live the happy and carefree life. No matter. Who concerns themselves with where the exceptionally talented derive their inspiration from? It just starts to feel less special than it initially did. Almost to the point where it does not warrant sharing with anyone else. A special trick of the mind to change the weight and size of a rock akin to a boulder to something more similar to a pebble. Again, it really does feel like a valuable skill to inform people of. Who wouldn’t want to make their burden lighter? But it just doesn’t work. Or maybe, it does not leave me feeling fulfilled. More so, to acquire recognition. Notoriety in the same vein of other jolly personality types that are on the tips of a very many tongue. As if that were important. Curiosity.

It all amounts to nothing in the end. A heated pool on the first floor of an expensive hotel. While your lover is off working. Making money for a corporation that provides these wonderful accommodations. Or actually “making it”. Actually making it. And the hotel room is complimentary because your name starts with an “S” and ends with a “Fury”. Either way, the pool is still heated and it feels great to dive into.

This is all just rambling. A person who thinks life is already easy wants life to be easier. Not very heroic at all. The philanthropy. The high-minded ideas of how the world could be run differently. Those are great but don’t come close to making up the essence of me. Plus there is no intellectual property on ideas unwritten. Not that I am complaining.

Reap the benefits of doing what others can’t do. Saying what others are too afraid or too timid to say. Shock the world with boldness! Show the height of freedom expressed through one happy and exuberant individual.

Waiting for a platform. Better off building it yourself. Waiting is for the birds. My name is Shaun Fury.                                                                                            -  The Enlightened One  

[shaunfury]

Mother, LA has Changed Me.

Things don’t have to be complex at all. Things can be really simple and still be enjoyable. You don’t have to consume something that changes your worldview. Or reconstructs reality in a way that was never before imagined. I’m a head guy. I’m very, very aware of my head. I’m aware of my head in relation to everything else. In relation to other people’s heads. In relation to various forms of art and entertainment. Plain, ordinary objects, I am able to distinguish between what they are out there floating in space and how my head relates to them. How it interprets these objects that can mean nothing to me or can mean the whole world.

Nothing enlightening about that. Maybe I just write to center myself. To remind myself that it’s okay to feel whatever it is I might feel on a certain occasion. That I get a pass. When I do something wrong. Something morally wrong. That’s very gray. Very subjective. It’s hard to take compliments. From anyone. Friends or strangers. People who have known me for years...it’s hard to accept compliments directed at my character. A person could call me good-looking, I’ll take that. This is something that’s easily digested by myself and the person looking at me making this observation. But to be called a good person. A kind person. A nice person. A wise person. These comments do make me slightly uncomfortable. LA has changed me. A person’s character has the potential to be boundless. To be infinitely wise. Infinitely good and kind and nice. But then I think of the rules. Not my rules. Everyone else’s rules, that I’m constantly measuring and assessing. You have to smell good in public. It starts out easy and gets more and more complex. You have to smell good in public. What if we just forgot everything else? All the rest of it. I don’t force myself on you. It must be consensual.

The thing is, even the memories pale in comparison to the Head. There’s that level of consciousness where everything looks exactly the same. A white room with nothing but four walls looks identical to...that can’t be right. Too calm now. Too satisfied with who I am. What happens when there is no more internal conflict? When you finally stop caring about all of it. We get to find out! We get to find out right now! We get to go out into the world and discover it for the first time in the history of the universe. This little universe known as Shaun Fury. I am not good or bad. I am not nice or kind. I am not wise. I am much less than all of that. Much, much less. I am a starry night. I am a gentle breeze. I am still less. I am nothing. I am not much of anything.

This is how I sleep. These are the thoughts that give me peace. The world doesn’t matter. No, not to me. The world is my playground.                                                                                          -   The Enlightened One  

[shaunfury]

"Alright before we take this photo we gotta come up with a backstory. We met on set, obviously. And instantly there was tension. Sexual in nature. You flirted with me pretty hard but I kept telling you I'm focused on my career. This photo needs to inform what happened after we wrapped. Who's place did we end up at you know?" "I have a boyfriend." "........you tryna catch a movie after this??" #StrangerThanFiction #TheEnlightenedOne #evolvewithshaunfury #kendricklamar #jonathanfranzen #onset #actorlife #actors #filmmaking #television

[shaunfury]

Burgers and Beer. French Fries and Cheer.

This indulgence was paid for. The chair was metal. My butt grew stiff from prolonged sitting, I had to readjust several times to keep the circulation flowing. All thanks to the urban, skeletal aesthetic. Could you see the pipes and wires of the ceiling? Was it uncovered? I do not remember. I was not staring at the ceiling. Two television screens were on, both playing separate channels. I had my glasses on. There was about a twenty minute wait time for the food to arrive. No bother. Happiness comes from the knowledge that your needs will be met not in the actual meeting of them. The time passed slowly. I thought a little bit. Not a lot. Not so many thoughts as there once was, populating this noggin of mine. I thought about desires of course. If there was anything else that I wanted. To get better at expression. That seemed to be the overall theme of this particular thought pattern. It was immaterial. That was good. Immaterial things were usually free. I didn’t have to spend money to get this specific desire. Good. Good good. There were women there, of course. It was a public environment. Men and women frequent such places. Places with nice atmospheres and burgers and beer. And dim lighting. Makes everyone’s features appear more attractive. Get the right shading. Who doesn’t love to be desired?

“You can’t become weird enough. You can’t become bold enough. You can’t become fast enough.” The new mantra that was formulating in my head. The burger was on it’s way. “You are not a genius.” That one was a little under a week old. It was a very hard truth to accept. Recognizing myself as a genius really aided me in a multitude of ways. Human interaction. Talking to someone and it’s flowing, but then you make a comment that reads on the other person’s face as bizarre and abnormal. Walk away telling yourself they just don’t understand you because you’re a genius. That one’s not so good. It isn’t. More like believing you’re a genius so you can feel superior to everyone else around you. Not you. I. Believing I’m a genius so I can feel superior to everyone around me. So I don’t need all the things that other people need in order to feel good about themselves. In order to feel special. In order to feel like they’re better than everyone else. Why would I need money? I am a genius. Why would I waste my time pursuing the opposite sex? They should kneel before me in awe of my beautiful and creative brain. The brain that believed it could change the very fabrics of reality on a whim.

With enough focus anything can be accomplished. Anything. It does not take a genius to know this. It does not take a genius to apply this into one’s everyday life. What it takes is a student who is willing to learn. Willing to grow. To get better and more correct. To be open to new information. Criticism. Oh my, the genius has died. Now who am I? Not famous in a world of 7 billion people. Who am I? The touch of a woman makes the question slip from mind. It does. I forget everything and want nothing more but to stay inside her and never leave. I do. But it does end. And I am back on a plane. And the rest of the world surrounds me wondering who the fuck I am. Say something interesting. Have a person cock their head in earnest amusement at your wily ways. Your quirky witticism. Exchange contact information. Become friends on facebook. And continue on doing your very best to answer that question before it’s too late. Before you die.

Without these powers of imagination that we as humans possess, I would be sad. To grow up to be a world changer. An influencer...Still need more.                                                                                            -   The Enlightened One

[shaunfury]

You Know What?

I've been thinking about our last phone conversation. Specifically the part where you described yourself as not being all that unique. I've come to decide that I believe you and I share very similar messages that we would like to share with the world. The presentation differs between us, but I think we're definitely suggesting the same theme.

Tyler Durden. The question I have for you, one that I am having difficulty answering myself, why is this "philosophy" so liberating to us? Why does the understanding of our lack of uniqueness make us feel freer and more in tune with the rest of the world/universe? Furthermore, how on earth will we be able to get the masses to convert to such a way of thinking? Especially the Americans. This country where everyone believes that they are special. How can we entice them with this train of thought?

I think the answer lies in humility. I think that if people learned how to play with their innate personalities, they may be able to rest easier at night with a firmer understanding of who they were in relation to everyone else. To suggest that every individual comes with their own set of skills, some easier to measure and display than others, is not ridiculous.

If there's any positive change we can affect on our species it would have to be the promotion of inner discovery is not? You, yourself, have complained about the accessibility of information now that we live in the technological age. The spoiled nature that has accompanied this advancement being your major gripe. But! If we can teach people how much fun it is to discover their own limits. Their own powers. Powers of discernment. Powers of will and fortitude. Powers of persuasion. Charm. Constitution. Intelligence. Dexterity and Wisdom. Then perhaps we can get them to care less about their unique snowflake and more about furthering their progressing selves. All for the sake of discovery.

We're here to keep humans moving forward...I think.