A Mildly Constructive Space Explorer on Drugs.
Amphetamines. Jigsaw puzzles for the mind. Pushups for the body. Silence for the soul. Sweet silence. There’s this feeling of discomfort that’s accompanied with attending those nicer outings. The ones where you can’t get in with sweatpants on. Of course, you’re not supposed to be allowed to wear sweatpants everywhere. So there’s that. It doesn’t all have to be written down. Only the stuff that sparks creativity, or inspiration for future creativity. It’s not depressing though to find myself in a hamster wheel. Cycling over and over again, yet somehow each rotation brings me a different perspective on everything. Perspective. Beautiful. Books and other forms of content all made because of a never-ending increase of perspective.
Wisdom. Wisdom. Wisdom....Wisdom acquired from chasing a dream or passion. Discovering what is difficult and what is necessary and what hurdles one encounters running such a race. Such a marathon. My father. My brother. My mother. All living separate lives from myself. My friends. Who I am dragging along towards this destination of greatness. To be at the top of the world when it is all over. Oh one can dream. One can imagine. One can believe. A movie! A great big fantastical movie. We can get away with it. There seems to be some glaring error that I refuse to acknowledge however. There were those days spent in a small town. Working at the local diner. Flirting with the wait staff. Young and carefree. I ignored what my father said. That the only thing I was good at was working out and taking pictures of myself. “Welcome to my generation,” is what I should’ve said to my father. But I knew that was not the truth. For as many as there are vain, and self-indulgent and narcissistic, that populate this planet. There are heroes that live and breathe amongst us. Individuals who care less about showing off their best self to the rest of the world. Making themselves desirable to their designated social constructs. Their worlds. There exists the ones that simply are not interested. No fucks given. And they are happy as can be. No scoffing. No anger at the way the rest of the world thinks. Just kind of...suspicious.
A little more than a bit innocuous. Perhaps sixty percent. Then the other forty percent would have to be curiosity. There’s one thing, changing one’s own disposition to be brighter, more positive, an increase in their mental health. But more to take it further and actually change physical properties. Things that truly do exist outside of my brain. Their existence proven by the acknowledgement of thousands if not millions of other sentient creatures. Oh god. Such a desire. To alter reality in such a way. To prove oneself as the most powerful wizard in all the land. And then there is a crash of course. Because to succeed at the endeavor would also be the most humbling experience in the world. Thank god the road is long and arduous. More like tedious. More like time-consuming. More like Sisyphus! Exactly like Sisyphus. My Greek counterpart. The man who taught me how to live the happy and carefree life. No matter. Who concerns themselves with where the exceptionally talented derive their inspiration from? It just starts to feel less special than it initially did. Almost to the point where it does not warrant sharing with anyone else. A special trick of the mind to change the weight and size of a rock akin to a boulder to something more similar to a pebble. Again, it really does feel like a valuable skill to inform people of. Who wouldn’t want to make their burden lighter? But it just doesn’t work. Or maybe, it does not leave me feeling fulfilled. More so, to acquire recognition. Notoriety in the same vein of other jolly personality types that are on the tips of a very many tongue. As if that were important. Curiosity.
It all amounts to nothing in the end. A heated pool on the first floor of an expensive hotel. While your lover is off working. Making money for a corporation that provides these wonderful accommodations. Or actually “making it”. Actually making it. And the hotel room is complimentary because your name starts with an “S” and ends with a “Fury”. Either way, the pool is still heated and it feels great to dive into.
This is all just rambling. A person who thinks life is already easy wants life to be easier. Not very heroic at all. The philanthropy. The high-minded ideas of how the world could be run differently. Those are great but don’t come close to making up the essence of me. Plus there is no intellectual property on ideas unwritten. Not that I am complaining.
Reap the benefits of doing what others can’t do. Saying what others are too afraid or too timid to say. Shock the world with boldness! Show the height of freedom expressed through one happy and exuberant individual.
Waiting for a platform. Better off building it yourself. Waiting is for the birds. My name is Shaun Fury. - The Enlightened One